Sexual Health - Women Forum - Feel nothing when I have sex - no pleasure

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Q: Feel nothing when I have sex - no pleasure - what's wrong?

asked by: Hyperventilate on October 17th, 2007

New User

Hi everyone! I'm a newbie here, but I've been seeking help for quite some time.

I'm 21, healthy female. No chronic sicknesses, illnesses or disorders, never once had a problem with the health of my sexual organs or otherwise. Never had an STD, yeast or bladder infection in my life.

I'm here because when I do have sex, I don't feel anything. Now, I don't mean it's numb. I can feel pressure, and if you were to slip a finger inside and press down, I could feel it. Press down hard enough, I'd feel the pain. I feel pressure, but absolutely no pleasure whatsoever.

This just isn't with another male, either. I can't seem to pleasure myself through penetration either. I've tried countless things and, I just can't feel absolutely anything. I'd be more likely to get off by rubbing my arm than from sex. This being the way it is, whenever I do have sex, I feel kind of, used. I get bored, and just the very idea of sex bores me. It's been a year since my last sexual encounter, and while I have the desire and libido, I just don't have the actual -DESIRE-. Sounds strange, but I can't figure out a way to put it.

Am I defective? Has anyone experienced anything like this? I know it's cliche, but I feel like I'm the only one in the world.

Countless numbers of my friends have told me how wonderful sex is. I feel like I'm missing out!

Now, keep in mind that I can orgasm, just, not through any penetration whatsoever.

Am I doomed to live a pleasure-less sex life?

Any help whatsoever would be greatly appreciated.

Replies(67)

frips2781

replied on October 17th, 2007

New User

That's Ok

I also had that problem - with penetration and it only changed when i was with my boyfriend that i am with now - I don't know if it is the feelings associated with the sex now or what but i can feel it more now but still sometimes I don't feel him He has to be really hard for me to feel and i kind of have to tilt my hips to feel him. Try some different positions too. I actually feel him the most when he comes in from behind. Not anal but doggy.

no_babies

replied on October 17th, 2007

New User

I Understand

ya... i have no libido either for at least a year now! i havent taken any contraceptives for over a year now and im still without any sexual desire! it really sucks and i dont know what to do about it. what should we do???

AmandaRae123

replied on October 17th, 2007

New User

Yeah, I posted a thread about this exact same issue.

There is nothign we can do about it. I guess some women's bodies are built to feel pleasure and be highly orgasmic. I tend to think women like us are in the minority. While they say most women cannot orgasm from penetration, they still have the capability of feeling some sort of pleasureable stimlation from sexual intercourse.

I have been experimenting with different vibrators. I recently bought a g spot vibrator, and I think I might have came close to finding my g spot but I am really not sure. I guess it's going to take some practice. I thought g spot vibrators were designed to immediately target the spot so a woman can orgasm...guess not. Like everything else it takes practice

AmandaRae123

replied on October 17th, 2007

New User

I also don't think this particular topic is talked about enough. You are more likely to find articles on women who cannot orgasm..but the ones that extensively focus on a woman who doesn't feel anything at all during intercourse is far and few inbetween--if there are any.

smileybaby

replied on October 17th, 2007

New User

I have the same problem sometimes, but recently I found out if my bf gives me a full body massage (to relax me) and takes his time; so when we do make love it does feel great. I've also recently experimented with vibrators and that makes sex even better(while making love). I hope this helps good luck.

Kate266

replied on August 18th, 2008

New User

same problem sex i feel nothing fingering nothing it takes while to get started during oral but when i ge to that point its amazing. any advice?

penpen

replied on August 18th, 2008

Experienced User

I can't really feel anythng when my boyfriend is on top...but if I am on top, I can feel everything. Try different positions and see what works best for you. good luck!

kitten69

replied on August 28th, 2008

New User

same here

i have the same problem i can't have sex eather when i do i can't fell anything im numb inside i fell a bit of paine when he puts his fingers in me but i can fell his penise in me at all so ya mabe here is something wrong with all of us lol

mstrombe

replied on August 29th, 2008

Experienced User

sometimes it can be more mental than physical. What I mean by that is maybe you're feeling too much pressure to feel something, or maybe you're not fully comfortable around that person. It can only feel good if you're completely relaxed. If that's not the case and you do feel comfortable, relaxed and emotionally connected to the person, it could be something else. Remember, everyone is different and everyone feels different things during sex (and other stuff). I know that it took me a WHILE to fully appreciate sex. I have been sexually active since I was 19 (I'm 23 now) and I know it takes a while to get comfortable with it. Good luck1

dr not

replied on September 4th, 2008

New User

Chemistry?

I would question the chemistry of the couple. How comfortable you are, and your ability to relax, and throw caution to the wind.

Sexual attraction is based on smells we emit, and we usually are attracted to people who have a different physical make up than ourselves.

I have to say, sex and alcohol are great mates. While this has reply has no medicinal value, the two go hand and hand for best results.

randulbean

replied on February 15th, 2009

New User

me too!

i have the same problem, i have been wioth my boyfriend for 5 years, i am 21, and i have never orgamsed or really felt anything during penetrative sex. He gives me amazing orgasms through playing with my clit butg i get nothing out of him being in me, it is starting to put a lot of pressure on our sex life as he is picking up on me not enjoying it and so he isnt really either, im scared this will ruin our sex life 4ever!

curious91

replied on February 23rd, 2009

New User

dont feel bad...

i have had the same problem. i have been sexually active since i was 14 and have had many sex partners but still no luck. i recently talked to a doctor and she told me like the young lady up there said that its more mental than physical. you have to be ready and comfortable with it. though i still havent felt any pleasure from sex, i plan on holding out until i feel that i am ready. dont think your alone sweetheart because your not.

megg2

replied on March 3rd, 2009

New User

I have some across this very same problem. I was a virgin when i got married so he is the only man i have to compare with. I get no stimulation from sex at all. I can only O when i do it my self on the out side. He has tried to do it for me but he never rubbers the right spot and having to instruct him every minute makes me angry so of course nothing happends. Also when he is fully erect his penis curves down. Is that normal? We have tried so many different positions and the only one that kinds works is doggy style. But he goes so fast i don't have time to begin to feel good HELP!! What do i do now/

bubz89

replied on March 4th, 2009

New User

have u tried clitoral stimulation>? like a little vibrator to put on your clitoris..i to dont climax during sex but i feel him...it is like a pressure as u said ...but i find it i rub myself or put a vibrator or something on myself it tends to help!! good luck sweetie Smile

tiggyecho

replied on March 4th, 2009

New User

I have the same problem. I don't think it's mental - I was raised in a very open family, have absolutely no qualms about my body, and I am comfortable masturbating. I can have orgasms through clitoral stimulation, but they take a while. Sex and fingering for me feels like NOTHING - I mean, a little pressure maybe, but nothing good (or bad) at all. It's just kind of bleh. The only reason I enjoy sex is because I enjoy that the guy is enjoying it, if that makes any sense. I have been sexually active for 6 years and have been with 11 men, some inexperienced and some very experienced, and still have had no results. I don't believe that this is mental - I am a very sexually open person and have had very healthy, open relationships where I feel exactly the same.

This is the first article I've found where other people say they have this same problem, and it makes me feel better to at least know that there are people out there like me.

Hopefully one day a doctor can study a group of women like us and come up with a definitive answer.

Frustrated22

replied on March 11th, 2009

New User

Frustrated

I am 19 yrs old and I have been sexually active for a year. I can not feel anything while having sex or getting fingered. I have 2 hear how great sex is from friends and family. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I love him, am comfortable with him and wanted him to be my first. It was nothing I was pressured into. I don't understand. I am still young and plan on being with only him. I am very frustrated and feel that what I am going through is not fair and I am very shocked to see so many others going through it as well.

Bubbles_McGee

replied on March 12th, 2009

New User

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!

It's so nice to find a group of people who understand exactly my problem. Though unlike some of you, who can still feel please when playing with the clit, I have no pleasure on any part of me whatsoever. No masturbating, no sex, no stimulation from foreplay or different positions. I have never ever felt anything except like someone else mentioned, the pressure if someone pushes against the wall. I have been to many doctors and some of them even had the audacity to ask if a family member had touched me when I was little. They have said that if I can get wet (which I never even realise that I am) than everything works fine and it's all in my head. Now I am also a very comfortable with my body and the partners I have had, so it definately isn't mental. I feel very cheated and it's hard to explain to partners the situation as many people think I make it up. I now often find sex boring and only enjoy doing it because I enjoy pleasuring my partner. I don't want to be the person who has children one day and never felt the pleasure of making them. But will definately feel the pain of giving birth! I really long to feel pleasure with the man I'm with. The man I want to marry.

JavaMissus

replied on March 12th, 2009

Supporter

My question to you is have you ever found that man you want to marry?...That hot hunk of man that you would love to sit on a chair without your panties on and spread for him?...The woman in you that would love to get into the doggy position and tell him to lick you?....I mean the kind of guy that is so good looking and hot that you could eat alive....

I know as a woman, that unless I felt like this, I would not be the sick sexual soul that I am.....

Lovacheeks

replied on March 15th, 2009

New User

I thought I was the only one who was going this. I've been sexually active since I was 15 years old and now I'm 28, and I've never felt anything during intercourse, fingering, oral sex, sex toys or anything else I've tried. I feel pressure too but nothing else. I don't even feel anything from clitoral stimulation. All of my sex organs are dead, and it's not a mental issue or not being comfortable around him. I've been in love 3 times and was very happy emotionally and very comfortable around him. My husband is the love of my life and been married over 2 years but I don't have any sexual feelings at all. Maybe I'm broken up for life.

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