Why Is She Acting Like This? (Page 1)

oh its totally normal. Thats the age when they start to realize their independence and start trying to control. It's typical. And oh so adorable by the way ^_^.

Both of mine went thru it.. actually, they're still going thru it lol.

*~*Sandra*~*

Kaylee's starting to go through that now & she does all of the things you explained also! She slaps me in the face, scratches me, you name it she does it & the fits, oh my, watch out! I hope it's normal ... Hey maybe our little girls are reaching their "Terrible 2's" a little early & once they're 2 it will be a breeze!

But isnt 8 months a little too early to be doing this??
I hope it is normal And That would be really nice if it was a short phase and be a breeze afterwards lol

I'm not really sure if it's too early, I haven't heard of too many 8 month olds acting like that to be honest with you though. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to see the doctor about it, especially if it gets worse. I just googled 8 month old daughter aggressive & this is one of the things I found, only it's about an 11 month old so I'm sure this doesn't help much at all...

Question:

My 11-month-daughter doesn't seem to want anything to do with me anymore. She has a strong personality. She often growls at me. She's constantly getting after me and getting mad at me. She also scratches my face. Can you please help me by informing me of what type of discipline is appropriate for such a young child? I don't believe in spanking or smacking her hand, so how do I get her to stop hitting and scratching me and others? Every time I am firm with her and say "no" she laughs and does whatever she may have been doing again. Or if she doesn't laugh at me when I say "no" she cries, and then I'm the big meanie. HELP!

Answer:

It's hard to feel loving towards a child who doesn't seem to return your love. I encourage you, first of all, to explore the possible reasons why your daughter might be acting aggressively towards you.

All babies feel occasional anger at their mothers (or primary caretakers). This is difficult for mothers to accept, but it is common and normal. Mothers are wonderful people who do their best to fill their children's needs. However, mothers are not perfect. They are sometimes tired, impatient, angry, resentful, anxious, depressed, or stressed, and they cannot always meet their baby's needs immediately. I encourage you to take care of yourself and your own needs, so you won't be a contributing factor to your daughter's stress.

Furthermore, mothers must sometimes set limits for their children's safety (such as taking away dangerous objects). I am glad that you are opposed to corporal punishment, because spanking your daughter would only further contribute to her anger towards you. But some frustration is inevitable.

All of these factors may be contributing to your daughter's anger at you. When your daughter hits or scratches you, she is not rejecting you, but simply showing you her anger.

I have two suggestions to help your daughter become less aggressive towards you.

You can encourage therapeutic laughter with the following game: Sit on the floor or on a bed with your baby. Every time she touches you, fall over dramatically, saying, "You knocked me over!" This will probably make her laugh, and the more she laughs, the more she will dissipate her anger. I call this kind of play a "power-reversal game," because it reverses the usual power imbalance between adults and children. You are letting her feel powerful, but you are not encouraging her to be more aggressive. On the contrary, she will release anger through laughter and become less aggressive after this kind of play. It will also improve your relationship with her.

Don't back off from setting reasonable limits simply because your daughter cries. Crying is a healthy outlet that helps to dissipate aggressive energy and accumulated frustrations. When you need to stop her from hitting or scratching, stay with her while she cries to let her know that you love her no matter how sad or angry she is feeling. If she tries to hurt you, protect yourself firmly but gently, but stay close to let her know that her anger cannot destroy the bond between you. You can say, "I can't let you hurt me, but it's okay to be mad at me. It's okay to cry. I'll stay with you until you feel better." After the crying has run its course, you will probably discover that your daughter is much more relaxed, loving, and gentle



I wish I could be more of a help! & you are definately not a bad mother!

she doesnt really act like the 11month old. she only does this when she doesnt get what she wants. Amelia is real lovey dovey towards me. She will pratically jump out her fathers arms, if im near, just to get to me and then she wil "hug" and put her lips on me like shes giving me sugar.

I do believe she knows what "no no" means and that could be causing her anger because she cant get what she wants? Im not sure. Im going to video tape her, if i can, next time she does this. Which will be in the morning. So i can show her doctor. This to me isnt normal. I have loads of little neices, nephews, and cousins and not one of them did this this young. Only when they was about 2. Im scared thers something wrong.

Keep us updated on everything! I hope there's nothing wrong!

ur not alone.. i promise ^_^


http://www.mothering.com/discussions/archi ve/index.php/t-58930.html

Jaylon is almost 7 months and beginning to have little tantrums too. I think it's a riot. He got so ripped at me yesterday morning for taking his bum cream away from him. He loves to touch peoples faces, but sometimes he will scratch or pull hair. I just say "gentle please" and rub his face very soft and repeat "gentle". If he touches my face and isn't gentle I just move his hand. Don't let her pinch or scratch or be aggressive because if you do she'll continue. Try to be as flat as you can and if she doesn't see that she has got a reaction out of you she'll probably move onto something different.

She's going to test you and your limits. It's how they learn. I'm sure everything is completely normal.

If you are taking something away that she shouldn't have try replacing it with something she can have. Distractions are a beautiful thing.

I get cranky when I don't get what I want too. This is completely normal behavior. Redirect her to something she can have and keep doing this. If she wants the remote control, remove the remote control and give her something she can have - like her own remote maybe? Maybe you have another one around you can take the battery out of.

She doesn't have any idea she is hurting you and none of her behavior is intentional, she is far too young for that. She sees something and she wants it. Right now. This is 100% normal behavior for babies!

This is the time she is getting more mobile and getting into things she can see around her. Time to put everything up that she cannot have and surround her with things she can get into.

Thanks so much for the replys ladies!!!!
I just never seen a baby this young act like this.
When she hurts me, I tell her she hurt mommy and then pretend like Im crying and she stops and looks at me then most of the time she will stop but sometimes I have to sit her down and walk away cause she will laugh and keep doing itt her know thats not how you play nice.

Ingi- she has a old remote of ours she plays with but when she sees me use ours she wants that one!! If I dont give it to her she throws a fit. I try giving hers to her but she is quiet smart. She wont take a different toy or anything! I just have to let her cry her anger out.

Everything is put up but now since she can stand up and climb over things its gotten real hard to hide things. Our apartment is only so big lol. I already had to move our furniture around to hide cords. Now she trys to pull down our electronics.


Mommy35- I cant believe hes that old already!! Your going to have to tell me your name! Its hard to remember everyones on here. lol I dont let her scratch or pinch me cause that cap hurts!! I usually pull her hand away and tell her she hurt mommy and pretend to cry a little. Sometimes she will keep doing it thinking Im playing and I have to spat her hand to get her attention so she will look at me where I can tel her again. When I say spat, I barely touch her. Like someone coming up to you and poking you to get your attention. I just wanted that to be clear where no on will come on here accusing me of hurting her.


Sandra- That was a great link. Thats almost exactly what Im talking about!!

October Baby- Thank you for caring. Im going to mention this at her 9 month check up. Maybe the doctor will have even more ideas on how to help with her little attitude lol

right after reese could crawl good he started it.. and oh my~ does he ever get on my nerves sometimes!

finn has only ever thrown 1 fit. note to self: don't take pizza away from him.

judging by all the responses, it sounds pretty normal. i hope she grows out of it soon!

Oh, I remember those days! I got one of those fenced in play yard things (like on the Rugrats) and took it apart. I had a playpen blocking the way down the hall and the play yard parts blocking the woodstove and the kitchen access. We put everything up. When I look at pictures from then, our house looks like we don't have any decorations!

Crying is her release of frustration because she can't talk about it. Too bad babies can't be reasoned with, huh?

omg I want one of tose yard play pens!!!!! They are like $70 here and I dont know if I should go for it and buy it or not.

Ingi- Are they sturdy?? Would she be able to pull up on it and not pull it down on her? How tall are they?

I didn't use it for a play yard. I took it apart and used it as a 'gate' for the areas I didn't want her to get to. Like the wood stove! That was a nightmare - a one year old in a living room with a hot wood stove = yikes!

If you used it as a playyard, she wouldn't be able to pull it down on herself.

Mine was worth the price to me. But, just so you know, you have to be gated in with her because she will NOT stand around and be in one of those things alone. Which was why I just gated off what I didn't want my daughter to get at (the kitchen and the woodstove). We just used the living room as the 'playpen' and everyone was penned in. HAHAHA!

My teenaged son hated it.

I wanted on for our living room. Something I could put together while I need to do some cleaning/cooking. Are they easy to put together? I saw the plastic ones and Im wondering if those are as same as the wood ones.

Definitely normal! Alyvia is the queen of tantrums. It's amazing what she'll freak out over! It gets to a point where all I can do is laugh. Aaron has started calling her "raptor baby" because of her screeching.

You can pm me anytime you need to vent! Alyvia and Amelia sound like sisters from a different mister.