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I Am Dating a Bipolar Girl ( Rapid Cycler) Advise?

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hello all, I have been reading all i find here, and gosh it scares the hell out of me ! I have been dating her about 2 months. I can say i have never been loved so intensely in all my life! but there is a roller coaster ride kinda feel sometimes. She always forgets her meds ! ask me to make sure she takes them. I can't seem to get her on a schedule of any sort. I'm not sure when or how i should help or step back sometimes. oh and please advise me on drinking, she told me drinking is bad for a bipolar person, but she loves to drink on occasion.
I was out of town a few days , long weekend, and she went very manic. i was amazed at how much she accompished in a couple of days ! then she slept for i think two days.
now back on meds a couple of days, restless, and her mood toward me is just kinda blah. confuses me. told me she is sick, that she would be better by the weekend and that she loves me and all will be ok. also told me i needed to google her illness, and learn more about it and her. please advise , and offer websites and forums. I really would like to hear some positive things, all i have read makes me want to run. I have really fallen in love with this girl, i would like to hear some positive support if any. thanks for listening
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First Helper Virgoguy
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replied October 16th, 2007
Bp Girlfriend
Im in kinda the same boat...Dating a very wonderful bipolar woman, who also happens to be a physicians assistant and is very in tune with the medical world...You can't make her take her med's you cant make her do anything...She needs to choose to take them and take them regularly...I have noticed that after every high there is an enivitable low(wich is usually bad) Not taking meds then taking them or taking to much(at least I think) can cause the blah feeling...Lithium is kinda like that imho...I am not expert but I wouldn't change anything about my GF Bipolar included...
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replied October 17th, 2007
Thanks Jeaston77
THANKS,
I am learning , things returning to normal, but wow what a couple of days it has been, she didn't want to leave bedroom or bed for a couple of days, but all seems to be getting better. i don't want to make her do anything, just want to be there to help the best way that i can.
thanks again
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replied October 18th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
This Is Where Love Take Over
You have got alot on your plate and if you really love each other, you are going to have to be able to be strong and supportive of her. There will be some rough roads ahead. But understanding the illness is the first start to a good relationship. You are going to get her through those "Hills and Valley" and you will do it together. There has to be unconditionable love on your part to do this. It is not an easy road to travel.
I wish you both the best and know that as long as you fully understand what she is feeling, you will do just fine.

Carrie
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replied November 12th, 2007
Married a Bi-polar Girl (maniac)
Great in Bed! Very HOT. What a maniac.... there is no trust whatsoever. If she says she's in the kitchen, she really is in the bathroom. Super manipulator! She almost put me in jail! Until, my lawyer got her to admit that she was baker-acted in a mental institution! She had the whole court fooled that she was the victim. I found all the guys she dated and they all told me the same thing. Now were all friends (all the guys). She calls me every now and then to meet up, but I would NEVER. She would probably get laid and say it was rape and put me away!!!!!!! Glad I got out in 3 yrs! I have a wonderful girl now without any ups and downs!
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replied November 20th, 2007
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martyGq - i hope when you are truly down, like myself and so many other kind, beautiful and smart women, that you are shown the love that you were unable to give. my husband is my hero.... or so i thought. he still is but who can blame him for the disappointment and constant battle. that's what i call a man. big boy pants are on. bipolar isn't a choice. in my case it came to full fruition just a month after the honeymoon!!! about 2 months ago. glad your girl doesn't have to suffer, or at least not in the way you think.
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replied November 20th, 2007
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Virgoguy
so sorry you have to go through this. you sound very sincere in wanting to do the right thing for her, as is my husband.

the things i yearn for..... hugs, kisses, laughing, holding me when i'm breaking down, et. simply put i just need him to listen and support me emotionally. i'm in a viscous cycle with my husband right now. he is extremely frustrated with me. i do understand his and your frustration, it's VALID. really it's a compliment if you think about it. in a sick twisted way she is comfortable enough to let you in that deep.

with that being said, i must inform you that pushing or complaining makes me want to pack a bag and run run run. it makes my mood worse or i allow it to, pick your vice... no matter.

peace
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replied August 14th, 2010
I will say this hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Telling you about her meds is a good sign. If you are financially set and she doesnt have to work thats good too. She needs a ton of care and now stress. If shes wierd watch some funny movies. Never let her see you worried or insecure. If you suspect she is up to something or lying she is. If you fall on hard times and need her support she'll bolt. If your in love its too late for you. Protect your heart. You dont know whats going on in her head really. She loves you but that could change down the road on a dime. She's a great actress beware.
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Users who thank Exwentlooney for this post: artistboi1978 

replied September 18th, 2010
The posts above really help. I took an old friend out on what turned out to be a a very fun and very intimate couple of dates. On the first date she told me she has bi polar and I that she has seriously self harmed in the past and she says there have been various suicide attempts. All this however did not seem to bother me I don't know why. On the evening of our second date I can only guess she had what you call an episode. She poured her heart and mind out to me cried asked me questions about her past that I could only try to answer and dived into my arms asking if I would look after her, which of course I said I would. The openness of her created so much intimacy I felt like I had been a part of her life for years it was so intense. I’m a caring person and opened myself to her. A few text followed then she said she could not see me as it was for the best and that she needed her space, followed by the fact she had started seeing someone else. After a chance encounter after this we talked and I could tell the seeing someone was a lie or bending of the truth. Conversation flowed we laughed, all good we really do get on. If this was my girlfriend I would know she loved me and give her space but how can I date this girl again if she is pushing me away? I her you say she just might not be into me but there is something more to this and the course of events are all mentioned above.Been open, loving, pushing me away the hole works. I don't know how this would turn out but even having her as a friend would be good as she is a lovely person. Some people may tell me to run but I understand this is an illness, I would not run if I found out she had cancer would I! I really like this girl. I know most of the people on this post are with someone but if you have bi polar and are single how would someone go about dating you when your defences are so hight? As a boyfriend or friend I think I would be a positive thing in this girls life as I am a nice guy, one of lifes genuin nice guys. We are both 30. Any thoughts??
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replied September 28th, 2010
I just want to say that there are many women out there who can call the rape shot and be very devious and manipulating without being bipolar. I have rapid cycling bipolar and have a wonderful relationship we even have a 3 year old son. A lot of people get lost in their partners mood swings once they have been told what bipolar is and forget that everyone actually has mood swings but ours appear more severe. I am on medication which i take like clock work and i always tell my partner when im down. My moods can change with the wind i can feel amazing, on top of the world and then one tiny little thing goes wrong and i can be down for 30 seconds to 2 days. Then theres pmt to contend with lol. As long as she is on the right medication and seeks counselleng when possible and talks openly to you aqbout it you may find that she is as kind and loving as someone who has not got bipolar. My fiance has never experienced a relationship with anyone with a mental condition before but he always tells me they were psychos and im the most sane of them all. Its nice to hear and it shows we can have normal lives like anyone else.good luck
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replied September 29th, 2010
I think hun,
your going to be okay im very bi polar

liquor is not good becuase of the meds.
and you just got to help her get on a regular state with the meds
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replied November 29th, 2010
bp girl
whatcanbedone

i'm bp and have been dating a guy for a month now and he is practially pulling out what little hair he has. =D we love each other..at least i hope he loves me. it's funny and it's not. i can't control it. i feel helpless sometimes. i think if you accept her for who she is and learn how to handle her highs/lows, you can have one of the happiest relationship. it is very rewarding because she is special and you are caring for her. she needs someone who is willing to accept her completely and will always be there. every bp individual is differ. if you can handle her and show her how strong you are, you will be the most wonderful thing she's come across. she may/may not be able to tell you how much she appreciates you but deep down inside she does. i have a tendency to push my partner away because i feel guilty over something minuscule or because i dont think he loves me or because i think he is better off w/o me...etc. it can be for many reasons at any given time. anything can trigger an emotion. when im on my meds, i'm pretty stable but with slight highs/lows. off them...is a whole differ ball game. i confuse myself =D i hope this helps!
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replied January 26th, 2011
Bipolar and dating
My daughter was diagnosed as being bi-polar in her 20's and is now in her early 30's. She is on medication and takes it daily. She is dating a very nice man. She will have a fantastic time with this fellow and but after the date, she analyzes EVERY SINGLE THING he says and dwells on the negative. She will dwell for days! Then during her depression says she's going to break up with him. The guy doesn't even know she's been dwelling. I try to give advice carefully to her but sometimes it's like talking to a wall. I'd like to see her happy in a relationship but really wonder if she will ever be completely happy and in love.
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replied March 30th, 2011
Bipolar vs. Highly Sensitive Person
I am also dating a bipolar girl..yeah it was hell when i got my emotions involved but as soon as i withdrew my attention from her and acted as if I wasn't interested...she was easier to cope with. You don't wanna be to clingy with a bipolar girl..unless u want a ride on the roller coaster. Note: If you are a "Highly Sensitive Person" especially! Just try to obtain the power..as in..continue to be the superior one in the relationship. It's been a total of 7 months since we've been together. Happy as ever
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replied March 31st, 2011
I dunno about the bolting when he needs support though. I try to be there for my husband because I love him more than anything(even myself oddly enough) and I know I put him through hell sometimes. This is a learning experience for the both of us. I just recently found out. But Virgo, you sound like you love this woman very much. I commend you for your support and care for her. As far as her meds go, just help her get a routine going. Get her one of those two week daily pill containers. That seems to help me. And (I won't say make her) but help her to get on a schedule of taking them at the same time during her daily routine. Like maybe after her bath in the evening if that's when she bathes. Or maybe after dinner. Routine is key.
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replied March 31st, 2011
I dunno about the bolting when he needs support though. I try to be there for my husband because I love him more than anything(even myself oddly enough) and I know I put him through hell sometimes. This is a learning experience for the both of us. I just recently found out. But Virgo, you sound like you love this woman very much. I commend you for your support and care for her. As far as her meds go, just help her get a routine going. Get her one of those two week daily pill containers. That seems to help me. And (I won't say make her) but help her to get on a schedule of taking them at the same time during her daily routine. Like maybe after her bath in the evening if that's when she bathes. Or maybe after dinner. Routine is key.
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replied March 31st, 2011
I dunno about the bolting when he needs support though. I try to be there for my husband because I love him more than anything(even myself oddly enough) and I know I put him through hell sometimes. This is a learning experience for the both of us. I just recently found out. But Virgo, you sound like you love this woman very much. I commend you for your support and care for her. As far as her meds go, just help her get a routine going. Get her one of those two week daily pill containers. That seems to help me. And (I won't say make her) but help her to get on a schedule of taking them at the same time during her daily routine. Like maybe after her bath in the evening if that's when she bathes. Or maybe after dinner. Routine is key.
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replied March 9th, 2012
I am bipolar, my boyfriend is now scared of the future and wants to commit to me, but my disorder is a main issue, he doesn't have much pateints when I can not keep up with him, he is a very out going person. After 5 months no of dating, he has problems with my personality which holds him back so far that he won't talk to me for two day's, but that is because of his own way of being, he dwells on thing's. I love him so much and he is the best bf i ever had, he is affectionate and cares a lot about me and tells me everyday, there is no problem knowing he wants to be with me, but he also hates a lot of things about my personality, which is really my bipolar making me a certain way, He always remembers in the end I am different, but he still is so afraid of me. I think he is afraid mostly that i will get worse, he tries to get me to change, which i have a lot while being with him, for he saved my life almost, but he constantly wants me to change, how do get it across to him that changing, as in being more outgoing is a very difficult thing, and it takes time. my mood swings he doesn't understand, he takes them as like i am a baby. And I think he is getting tired of me trying to tell him how he should be treating a person like me. I am a smart person, and he doesn't take my advice, he just mocks me and says oh you just know everything don't you. This is a new thing, bickering. I am afraid that if this becomes a pattern i may have to leave him and that breaks my heart, but i can not cope with someone who makes me feel stupid for being the way i am, i think he labels me as crazy, instead of a person. I am just a person.
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replied June 7th, 2013
sounds like me, im bipolar but i do genuinely feel affection for the people i have relationships with, if theres no affection in the relationship i wont bother,i also have ptsd, i use diazepam to control my mood swings, i flirt with my gurlfriends, boyfriends but i never ask them to leave their relationships they do so of their own accord, im not mean quite the opposite really and i dont get any fun out of it, heres what happened to me i got pregnant when i was 16 and i told my mom about it, it was okay with her but when my dad found out he freaked out and had me brought to an abortion clinic, my boyfriend being the "stud" that he was, was no help at all, im trying hard to type this i cant remember what happened during the abortion, i hope this helps...
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