honestly you look great.

i see nothing wrong with you, but then again im not a girl who judges on appearances.

dont worry, you look absolutely FINE.

You're only ugly if you think you're ugly. If you say you are hot, then you are cocky. If you know you are attractive but also know that there are many other guys better looking then you, then you are confident =) If I had let myself feel down for each criticism I received, I'd be back in high school. Trust me, I had a lot worse comments then just "you are ugly". But I just went clubbing two nights ago at the spanish bar and well, I had quite a lot of fun dancing with numerous girls who compliment me because I seem very confident in my salsa dancing. Do I feel confident about how I dance all the time? No, I certainly have my scared moments. How you present yourself is key, I could dance salsa without confidence and it will show and I'll be criticized, with confidence and all of a sudden everybody wants a turn with me. Same thing with your looks.

Be confident but not too overly. If you are, then it will complement the way you look. the more you look down on yourself, then definitely, the more you'd look ugly. stop thinking about what other people say. what matters really is how you see yourself. Just be yourself, and soon in time, you'll find your girl.

Hi, Tom:

I'm writing from "the other side". No, I'm not dead, I'm prolly older than your mom by a little. I've been through what you've been through before, more than once, so I can give you the benefit of my perspective.

You're 20 and you haven't had a romantic relationship. Be careful what you wish for, you may get it. When you have your first big heartbreak (and you will at some point), you'll be wondering why you ever got involved in the first place. It's a double-edged sword.

When this girl told you that you had your standards set too high, what did she mean? You obviously have things that you feel are important in a woman. Don't lower your standards if you feel as strongly as you do. You may have won the battle but you will lose the war and you will be very with yourself. It's apparent that she didn't measure up and though it hurts you, you're better off without her.

High school is a very cruel time in one's life. I was never part of the "in" crowd. Even in grade school several of the girls who thought they were truly something treated me terribly. I realize now, and you will also, that those people who try and make you feel bad about yourself have already hit their peak in life and are on their way down. They are extremely insecure and the only way they can feel good about themselves is to put down others. How incredibly sad is that? They are so hollow inside, and they realize it, but nothing good will ever fill that void.

You, my dear, are what is termed "a late bloomer". You haven't reached your full potential yet, at least where women are concerned. Everything happens in its own good time (call me a fatalist if you will) and it happens for a reason.

Not that the above paragraph makes you feel particularly good at this time and I'm sorry you're lonely. What kind of friends do you have? Do you have both male and female friends? If you only have a few female friends, friends that you pal around with and your friendship transcends the gender difference (like a sister, if you will), I suggest you find more of them. Take up a new hobby, join an organization, volunteer some time, whatever. Meet new people.

It always helps when you join a particular group because you'll have something in common and that will serve as a springboard to other things. It kind of takes away some of that awkwardness in the early phases of a relationship. Any kind of relationship must have friendship as a basis otherwise it will not last. Romance comes with time--kinda creeps up on you.

That doesn't preclude your falling madly in love with someone and they with you. However, you still need a strong foundation. The first few months are full of sonnets and symphonies but eventually the orchestra folds up and you get around to the business of dealing with day-to-day stuff. You both stop "making nice" and revert to being yourselves. That's when the real learning comes in and can really test the strength of two people's feelings for each other. If it fizzles out then it wasn't meant to be. Live and learn. If it can stand some of the strains that naturally occur with any friendship, chances are pretty good that it will last.

At 20 you're just starting out on your Big Adventure. Just because you don't have a girlfriend now doesn't mean that you will be unattached for the rest of your life.

I had decided from a fairly early age that I wasn't going to get married. Then I met someone when I was in college that knocked me off dead center. However, it wasn't meant to be (and I'm eternally grateful for that) and I learned several lessons. My relationships were few and far between--I'm talking years. When a relationship ended it took me a long time to try again. I was very fortunate to have a support network of both guys and women. My male friends were very much like brothers and made me feel important. We never liked each other except as friends, and we would keep each other true. IOW, if they were doing something that was a bad idea I could tell them so and vice versa. We weren't afraid to keep each other straightened up and flying right.

I didn't meet the man I ended up marrying until I was in my 30s and we were together just over five years before we married. Neither of us was ever planning on marrying, it just happened.

OK, so you don't have a girlfriend right now. If you have the chance, do something you've always wanted to do. Chances are that you may never get to do it when you get older and you may end up regretting it. I did lots of things when I was between relationships that I'm glad I did. I moved to an apartment that was in a place I wanted to live, I traveled a great deal (by myself), I ended up getting a Masters Degree. They may not seem like great things but I did them and that's all that mattered.

Be friends with yourself. Get comfortable in your own skin. If you don't like yourself, how can you like anyone else? Also, don't just look for the "first row" girls (the analogy is bleachers in a gym). There are others a little higher up that have a great deal to offer but are too shy to approach you. They may not have the looks the front row girls do (and I'm not saying that all you care about in a woman is how she looks) but they have an inner beauty that the front row girls will never have.

I can see I'm starting to ramble so I'll close. Good luck and do keep posting.

The only people who are ugly is the girls that called you ugly. You just need confidence in yourself. If you have confidence in yourself, your personal appearance and heart will become stronger and you will attract people that are not all snobby or ignorant. All you need is confidence, and understand the fact that people will deny you and accept you in life. But if you keep your confidence, then no one can throw you down. Who knows, keep on believing in yourself and you will find the right one.

P.S. Stay away from girls that always look in the mirror or are too involved in themselves.

ur cute...its just a matter of confidence...when u exude confidence others will find you more attractive...thats just the way we are made....u dont have to be super model to be beautiful either....... start liking who u are and the rest will follow..

I'm not gay, but I'm comfortable enough to say you are attractive. You can get girls, anybody can get girls. Stop putting them up on a pedestal, they aren't all that great! Haha I have the feeling I'm gonna get cyberkicked.

But your looks isn't the issue, its how your face and body expressions emanates your confidence level. I know some guys who are definitely not the lady killers, and girls call them for a booty call 24/7.

By the way, this is getting to be an old post, he hasn't responded either so I don't think he will read this.

I am still here I do thank everyone for there kinds words it just people have been very cruel in the past. In some ways I don't mind staying single for the rest of my life I got a really good job now as Ict Analyst while also they are paying for me to go my foundation degree in computing and information system, So I think I will concentrate on that for the moment.

I think your hot, the lips and eyes are just sexy. I am 21 and yes you are very handsom.....

Settle down Rosie, let everybody take their turns humping this handsome young lad. hahaha =)

See sir, women find you attractive.

I know how you feel about people being cruel in the past. I grew up since kindergarden being told how ugly I was. Same thing in high school, it really didn't help because I was depressed as it was. Also didn't help that I was asian, it definitely doesn't have any benefits to be one, always being made fun of about my eyes, or my penis, or some bull just because I'm asian.

You have a better chance to raise your self esteem then I did. GL

LOL, yeah sorry. = )

Self confidence is what makes you the most attractive, looks count but its whats inside that matters. Try telling yourself positive things and try not to put yourself down. I went to a therapist to help with my self-esteem issues. I learned so much from her. I used to bash myself all of the time, like telling myself your stupid or I cant beleive you just did that. Even small things like that were really bringing me down. I was also always trying to be the best and when I didnt so something right the 1st time I would just tear myself apart. The first step to boosting your confidence is to stop telling yourself negative things. Even while your thinking negative things try and stop yourself. Step 2 is tell yourself good things. Like "I am worthy" "I am good looking" "I will make someone happy" Look yourself in the mirror and say something good. Step 3 When you are feeling blue sya to yourself this little chant: "I am lovable and competent"

These things are going to sound soooo corny, but they do work. I have tried them and tested them and they have helped my confidence so much.

Also try ahnging around people who like you and give you positive feedback. Try to stay away from negative people..

Best Wishes....

Hi guys thankyou for posting anyway some older lady at work said that i am cute I have heard this a few times by different women what does cute mean to a girl when she said it to a guy. Sorry that I sound so unsure about myself it just really hard to know where you stand with people sometimes