a Mother's Homophobia Causes Her Son to Kill Himself: (Page 1)
A mother's homophobia causes her son to kill himself:
Thu Sep 30, 2004
Betty:
Thu Sep 30, 2004
Betty:
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| Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.
Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door. What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth. Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son? |
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| i came out the same way to my parents. the first thing, iwas only 13. they said not to brand myself, but to keep myself open to anything, any changes, any feelings. afterall, i was just a kid.
you must accept him. after a while you can bring up how he wont be saved if he remains gay. but HELLO, first hes just a kid. so please, give him all the support he needs, give him help in school and in life all around. when he reaches 20 or 25, then you can try the idea of changing. who knows, he may not be gay at all! Love. right now thats what he needs. not how you think gays are condemned to hell, personally, that does not help. you as a mother must show her love. as a christian, you can do ur duty of converting once hes reached the proper *mature* age. |
Then a discussion ensued about places this mother could go to turn her son straight. Arguing over their success/failure rates began, and accusations of bias followed. Finally Chris, a Sunday School teacher, wrote:
Chris responded to what Aineo wrote:
Aineo wrote:
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| I have read what Religious Tolerance has posted on their site before. They base what they have to say upon opinions of those who support gay activists and it is not a balanced or even truthful view.
The American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the DSM III in 1973 without any studies to support their decision. If you want to know the truth about this decision read "Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth by Jeffery Satinover. After the APA's executive committee made this decision a poll of the membership indicated that 60% of those who responded disagreed with the decision. So when Religious Tolerance appeals to the APA and two sources that support the APA they are being selective in what they share on their site. Both APA's and the AMA refuse to do peer-reviewed studies on the roots of homosexuality and the proper way to counsel those seeking help to overcome homosexuality. Can all gays change? No. Do we know why? No. Do some gay teens commit suicide? Yes, but so do some heterosexual teens. I can understand your concerns for your son, but I cannot understand why you accept an opinion from an Internet site that does not present both sides of an issue. |
Chris replied:
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| As opposed to your sites, which are religiously biased? (and ReligiousTolerance.org has conservative essays on their site that are opposed to homosexuality, btw. Perhaps because the site belives in tolerance for other religions besides Christianity, you're against it.)
Your friend, Satinover is a Conservative Christian who believes being gay is a 'soul sickness.' His site has a link to one of the many 'Family' institutes that try to discriminate against gays. He has an article claiming that all liberals are brain-damaged. "Middle-aged and elderly liberals are pretty much lost causesâthe brain damage is probably irreversible (maybe neurosurgeons will come up with some kind of procedure for it, though)." Talk about fair and balanced!!! Here's a review from his book which I think suits the point. "Regarding the glib, dangerous phrase, "hate the sin, but love the sinner," this is the same sentiment that has always been used in historical Christianity as an institution to rationalize the fear and hatred toward differences that always resulted in death for the sinner. The history of Christianity is a blood-stained history of torturing the sin out of the sinner, of purifying the sinner of his sin by fiery death, of using the same feckless rationalization as that found in "hate the sin, but not the sinner" to finally banish from life those whom it hates and fears because of difference. Homosexuals are today's heretics and witches. We love them but we'll have to banish them from our churches and our institutions. God forbid that gays should stain the "sanctity of marriage." Gays--by divine definition--are a fundamental part of the fallen part of humanity. We should love them, but don't let them stain our own purity. How like a subtle serpent fear and hate creep into our love for the sinner. This kind of thinking lays the groundwork for all manner of modern mahem for the gay person, whether stretched, dying on a fence, or dragged to bloody death on a country highway, or driven to suicide because of the profound sense of loneliness that comes from hateful exclusion in youth. Jeffrey Satinover's unfortunate book is another wolf in sheep's clothing. How sad for today's world" Do some gay teens commit suicide? Yes, but so do some heterosexual teens. Yes, but the heterosexual children do not kill themselves as a result of their heterosexuality. If a gay teen kills himself, its usually because A) he is afraid to come out because of what will happen to him, and how his friends and family have treated him B) he has come out, and as a result he has been treated harshly by his friends and family, and he cant take it anymore If homosexuality was socially accepted, there would be less gay teens who are depressed, less gay teens who are self-loathing, less gay teens who are shunned and made fun of by their friends, and less gay teens who cant take it anymore and kill themselves to end the pain. But you dont care about that, do you? |
Anyway, this situation ends tragically:
Tue Oct 12, 2004
http://www.freejesus.net/home/viewtopic.ph p?p=43639&highlight=#43639
My son killed himself!
Betty wrote:
Tue Oct 12, 2004 11:54 am
My son killed himself!
I'm so distraught; I can't stop crying!
What did I do wrong? Is my son in
Hell now for killing himself??
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It's so sad that not only did her nonacceptance help push her son to such a depression, but that her nonacceptance now leads her to believe that her son is in hell. (sigh)
That's just terrible. I don't even know what to say.
That's just terrible. I don't even know what to say.
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That's the same reaction I had, Georgia. I posted this because sometimes people don't realize the harm and pain they inflict on others, even when they don't do it on purpose.
Here is how I feel about homosexuality:
People are born being attracted to the same sex.
It is a desire equally as strong as people who are born attracted to the opposite sex.
Asking homosexuals to be celibate is as cruel as it would be to ask heterosexuals to be celibate.
One person's homosexuality does not effect any other person.
Consenting adults who are homosexual do no harm engaging in a relationship with each other.
Therefor, there is no logical reason for anyone else to deny rights to homosexual people.
Here is how I feel about homosexuality:
People are born being attracted to the same sex.
It is a desire equally as strong as people who are born attracted to the opposite sex.
Asking homosexuals to be celibate is as cruel as it would be to ask heterosexuals to be celibate.
One person's homosexuality does not effect any other person.
Consenting adults who are homosexual do no harm engaging in a relationship with each other.
Therefor, there is no logical reason for anyone else to deny rights to homosexual people.
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a Shocking Situation
This a tragic story of a woman with a deadly type of homophobia. She drove her son to suicide and doesn't even know she is responsible for it. This case is too tragic for words. It's sobering to know that there really are people out there who are so unaccepting as to cause a death. I don't know what else to say.
Futureshock....I agree with your homosexuality explanation. It's very accepting and fair.
Futureshock....I agree with your homosexuality explanation. It's very accepting and fair.
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Thank-you. And I LOVE your avatar!
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That makes me want to cry... that poor, horrible woman. She doesn't even realise what she's done... And now one more beautiful young man has left this world in pain and anguish, all because of Religion. What a loving though.
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It makes me mostly angry. If you are a christian, how would you reconcile this?? Why would god do this to people- make them different and let them suffer for it, let their own parents tell them there is something inherently evil in them, then let them die, and let their parents think they are going to hell for the situation God caused in the first place ....
This is why I don't believe in God.
This is why I don't believe in God.
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If this is 'love' I shudder to think what this twisted wench thinks hatred or intolerance is.. she as good as killed that boy herself.
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The mom was desperate about her son being homosexual and definetly approached him incorrectly. People make mistakes. I would have certainly approached to this case differently. But not everybody knows how to approach very difficult situation like this. This is shocking news to a mom so I can understand under the trauma that it is to her that she couldn't think of what is right. As we see more and more gays nowadays we are more prepared to face this situations.
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It's not a difficult situation in the least. I actually don't view it as a situation at all. And do you mean "we" as in Christians? How are you prepared? How would you have approached it differently? By telling your son that what he's doing wrong in a different way than she?
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if that lady was a *christian* as she wanted everyone to beleive.. she wouldnt have been tied to the thought that he was going to hell.
Its a widely known fact that God loves each and every one of his children equally regardless of their choices.
Its a widely known fact that God loves each and every one of his children equally regardless of their choices.
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Yeah, rainfire, but not all christians believe that!! She didn't.
It's terrible that her religion told her to treat her child this way, and offered no help to her when he committed suicide. I'm blaming her religion, not her.
It's terrible that her religion told her to treat her child this way, and offered no help to her when he committed suicide. I'm blaming her religion, not her.
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This is what happens when people are taught to be sheep and not allow individual rights..
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| kaiteo wrote: |
| It's not a difficult situation in the least. I actually don't view it as a situation at all. And do you mean "we" as in Christians? How are you prepared? How would you have approached it differently? By telling your son that what he's doing wrong in a different way than she? |
To you it is not a difficult situation but you can't speak for all. To me it would be very difficult. I wouldn't like to have a homosexual son/daughter. And it's not because I'm religious. My brother was gay so I have already experiences how it is when it happens in your family. There is also gay in my fiances family. So I know already aware how this can happen and therefore I am now prepared to face it. As for how I would approache it I have done my own research and definetly not sharing in here.
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This makes me so thankful that my mom was happy when I came out.
Parents have no business in worrying about ANYONE'S salvation. This includes their children. They're there to love their children UNCONDITIONALLY... regardless of "sin".
This is one of the hugest problems in the world: People so freakin' consumed with everyone else's salvation, while they're committing the greatest evil of all: judgment... especially when we have hurting kids in the world who need love and acceptance. Just think how different this world would be!
This disturbs me so much. SO much.
Parents have no business in worrying about ANYONE'S salvation. This includes their children. They're there to love their children UNCONDITIONALLY... regardless of "sin".
This is one of the hugest problems in the world: People so freakin' consumed with everyone else's salvation, while they're committing the greatest evil of all: judgment... especially when we have hurting kids in the world who need love and acceptance. Just think how different this world would be!
This disturbs me so much. SO much.
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I agree, Marvel. Believing homosexuality is wrong is so twisted. It makes me want to throw up.
Nightangel, I'm sorry you were raised and taught to discriminate so quickly. It makes me very sad that you believe they are the ones with the problem, when in reality, it's you.
Nightangel, I'm sorry you were raised and taught to discriminate so quickly. It makes me very sad that you believe they are the ones with the problem, when in reality, it's you.
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Uh, did I miss where it is said that he killed himself solely because of his mother's actions? Sure, she screwed up, but there could have been plenty of other reasons he made this decision. Like, oh I don't know, society's views on gays, depression, adolescent hormones, personal issues we don't know about, etc.
Betty kind of smells like a troll there, too...
Just to keep it balanced...
Betty kind of smells like a troll there, too...
Just to keep it balanced...
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I don't think she's a troll. I also think this exact same scenario happens in thousands of families.
Katieo, I agree with you completely.
Nightangel, why wouldn't you like to have a homosexual person in your family? How can they negatively affect you in any way?
Katieo, I agree with you completely.
Nightangel, why wouldn't you like to have a homosexual person in your family? How can they negatively affect you in any way?
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Because, futureshock, new studies show that you can actually catch the homosexuality disease by breathing the same air as they are!
We had better stay far, far away!
Is that why, Nightangel? Or do you have some other wacky explanation?
We had better stay far, far away!
Is that why, Nightangel? Or do you have some other wacky explanation?
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| kaiteo wrote: |
| Because, futureshock, new studies show that you can actually catch the homosexuality disease by breathing the same air as they are!
We had better stay far, far away! |
Gay: the new SARS?
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| Tags: american psychiatric, brain damage, procedure, tolerance, american, Suicide, arguing, article, banish, sense | ||
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