Parenting Debate Forum - 21 Male, Needing Desperate Advice About Baby Boy

Parenting > Parenting Debate Forum > 21 Male, Needing Desperate Advice About Baby Boy

TOPICS DOCTOR QUESTIONS

Is my mum in the wrong or am i?

no
yes

0% [ 0 ]

100% [ 2 ]

Total Votes : 2

Q: 21 Male, Needing Desperate Advice About Baby Boy

asked by: jamesmcmorn on October 12th, 2007

New User

Ok, this may take a while, but please read and give me your views.

Here we go:

3 months ago a girl had my baby (total mistake, but she was told she couldnt have kids and she had this one) i made it clear i wanted nothing to do with the baby. Now its born, i do, and i have been involved and saw it for the first time last week.

This is fine...but i feel like my mother is taking over. The babys mum is always texting my mum and not me about the baby etc. Im not an experienced parent, granted, but its like, she agrees that im not fit enough to take him out etc. My mum has offered me and my current girl to stay in her house for reduced rent now, and i feel its just because she wants to oversee the baby.

I just went off on one because shes making plans to take the baby shopping etc this weekend (the one time i see him a week) and i have different things i want to do and spend time just me and him and my gf. - sort of bonding.

Was i wrong to go off on one? It just feels like shes talking to the mother of the baby all the time...and im left in the lurch, its really unfair, n it makes me feel rubbish because i feel as though noone feels i can manage a baby (even though i took him shopping last monday in town for a few hours)

Am i in the wrong? is she in the wrong?

Am i in the right? or am i in the wrong?

Replies(5)

Mommy35

replied on October 12th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

You would need to reword your poll question. There is no way to answer yes or no to your question.

I would need more information before I were able to answer too.
What is your age?
Have you signed your parental rights away?
Is there a valid reason why people think you can't take care of a baby even for a short time?
Why now do you want something to do with the baby when before you didn't?

tigresacanela24

replied on October 12th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Seriously, that's not a question that can be answered without knowing more about the situation.

Georgia59

replied on October 12th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

A lot of people have problems with their parents being overly involved. Sometimes it's justified and sometimes they're just pushy. I would advise you to have a nice talk with your mom and tell her that it's your turn to be the adult and the parent. Be nice about it, not confrontational, and really tell her your feelings. See what happens.

jessamyn

replied on October 12th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

You really need to give out more knowledge on this. As a grandmother she has every right and wanting to be involved in her grandsons life. She has probably wanted to since the child was born where as you 12 months (yes including the pregnancy) down the road decided to join in.

You can sit down with either you and the childs mother or you, your mother, and her and discuss your problems like rational adults... holding them inside and bickering online about it and to your current girlfriend holds no good or justice.

What makes you a non good dad? Try taking a parenting course and reading up... asking to see the child more often. If you are his biological father, do you have a custody agreement? if so you may end up getting to see him more than once a week.

Also while were on topic, the new gf of yours may also be a problem. You want alone time with the baby so you her and the child can bond.

As a mother that would be the last thign I would want is my newborn child to bond with their dads new gf... Time with your son should be just that for now you and him, or invite your mother out with you to do activities together just be theleader of the pack.

Maybe creating a better bond with both woman will allow a general healthier happier environment.

No one is right or wrong in this situation.

Georgia59

replied on October 12th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Maybe it's just the environment I'm in, I don't know about the rest of the world- but here, mixed race children are really common and no one really thinks twice about it. I think if you are prepared to help your children deal with anything they might face, it's only going to help strengthen the community to introduce diversity. Education is the key!!

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