I was with the same woman since I was 16. I'm 43 now. Me and my wife seperated 1.5 years ago, but have continued to see each other. Sex with my wife can only be described as wild panthers. We're both in great shape from working out, and have no fat on our bodies. Sex with her even while we're having issues is just not believable it's so deep and wild, it's better than the porn movies and real.
Anyway, I guess the reason we're seperated is because I am going through a terrible midlife crisis. Only one woman my whole life even when women tell me I am so attractive. So finally I said it's time to start something with some other woman, even if it's just sex. So, just recently I met a tourist here where I live that was as hot as any pornstar I have ever seen. She took my phone number, called me in the early evening, and I asked her just to come over to my house. She said to come pick her up.
Once we got here I gave her a beer and we started talking. This woman was a nightmare. She was married and her husband and her did not care about each other, but they are worth millions and don't want to split up money, ect. She told me how she has a night a week to go pick up a man (or maybe more than one) and screw him. This woman has had sex with more men than is exceptable by most people. She talked about how she would spend 20,000 bucks flying to another country on a lear jet to see a concert so she could through her panties on stage. Most decent people would find this woman dispickable and I sure did, a man that was faithful to the same woman for 27 years, but I NEEDED this so bad, and I still do.
I need to add this woman was on a lot of prescription drugs, I mean Prozac, Zanax, Valium, Uppers, Downers, she said it's part of that lifestyle, yea right thats an excuse.
So after hearing all this I now realized this is not what I wanted. I wanted a real woman with a soul or normal life that wanted me too. Now comes the real bad part.
We got on my couch and started to kiss. It didn't do much for me considering this woman was so screaming hot, and she kissed like a trained machine, no feeling, but I was at least trying. My hands were all over her, I noticed she did nothing with hers. I said lets go in the bedroom, thinking it would warm up and be at least something. We went in the bedroom, she took off her clothes down to her bra and panties. It's not describable what was in front of me.
We got in bed naked, in a meaningless just take our clothes off and jump in sort of way. This woman was 5 ft 7 inches, weighed 105 pounds, beautiful shaved vagina, pierced belly button, tan from head to toe from the tanner, and fake C size boobs and her surgeon was a master. Guess what? It's all she had.
We started to kiss in bed, I was trying, my hands were all over her, but her hands just laid there. She was not wet (probably the anti depressants) After 5 minutes of making out naked, I had to take her hand and move it to my groin. Her hand just laid there for about 10 seconds, then was gone again. Then she said just stick it in me and then I have to get back to my girlfriend. It's like this woman was a manufactured sex toy you pose and screw then through her away. This was a trainwreck happening when I needed this so bad. My fist time in 27 years with a woman, and she was a 10 with no soul, drugged up, and empty sex.
Well, my penise was limp, I felt sick and nervous, there was no way I was going to get hard with this poor woman, I did feel sorry for her some. I looked at that gorgeous vagina, and thought about how many scum bags had done it with her. I just could not get hard. I was nervous, I was disgusted with this whole experience and with the type of woman I was about to do it with for the first time besides my wife.
I told her this was not going to happen, I don't rush through sex like this, and was not into wham bam thank you mam sex. I thought she would stay all night or at least take the right time in bed with me, not 15 minutes just to get off. I told her this kind of sex isn't going to make her any happier that her money and stuff. I work out ten hours a week, have no fat on my body, I'm rippling muscle from all that training, and woman tell me I'm so good looking. Well, this woman never looked at my body while in bed, never touched me, she just wanted to kiss, have me stick it in there, and go home. By the way, she also said I didn't need to use a condom.
After telling her this was not going to happen (oh but god I wanted and needed to) she then said, and this was sssoooo nice, she said, "Will you lick me and make me have an orgasm? so I did. Glad she was so concerned with my feelings. Then I took her back to her car.
I have not eaten in 4 days and I had no fat on my body to begin with. I have not left my house in 4 days or gone to work. This was the most horrible experience of my life, to want to do it with this gorgeous woman (gorgeous only physically with help from surgeons, tanners, tattoes, and piercings), but not to be able to get hard from nerves, being so turned off by who she was but not how she looked. This woman was an empty posable sex toy that looked created. What I would give to actually meet a nice woman and have this be right and have meaning.
Please someone tell me how to look at this. I feel like I'm not a man, then at the same time partly glad to know I didn't go all the way with this nightmare. I wanted her so bad, needed it so bad, but couldn't. Please help me, I'm so upset and hurt and lost. I will never do a one night stand again. Please don't tell me I never should have even tried this, I know. I feel like now why even work out to look good for women, why live, why do anything if I can't have sex with another woman when I'm so alone please help me.