Join Our Community!
Share
Mens Health > Sexual Health - Men Forum > Please Help Me With Terrible Experience, Would Like to Die
Talking openly about the penis is a very personal matter. Learn basic penis anatomy to discuss penile disorders accurately with your doctor....
Penis symptoms that interfere with sexual activity or urination could be serious. Learn the signs and symptoms of penis problems that require a doctor's help....
How do urologists evaluate and diagnose painful penis? A penis disorder is a medical problem. Learn more about possible diagnoses for penis disorders now....
Avatar
Q: Please Help Me With Terrible Experience, Would Like to Die
asked by: talos4 on October 10th, 2007
New User
I was with the same woman since I was 16. I'm 43 now. Me and my wife seperated 1.5 years ago, but have continued to see each other. Sex with my wife can only be described as wild panthers. We're both in great shape from working out, and have no fat on our bodies. Sex with her even while we're having issues is just not believable it's so deep and wild, it's better than the porn movies and real.
Anyway, I guess the reason we're seperated is because I am going through a terrible midlife crisis. Only one woman my whole life even when women tell me I am so attractive. So finally I said it's time to start something with some other woman, even if it's just sex. So, just recently I met a tourist here where I live that was as hot as any pornstar I have ever seen. She took my phone number, called me in the early evening, and I asked her just to come over to my house. She said to come pick her up.
Once we got here I gave her a beer and we started talking. This woman was a nightmare. She was married and her husband and her did not care about each other, but they are worth millions and don't want to split up money, ect. She told me how she has a night a week to go pick up a man (or maybe more than one) and screw him. This woman has had sex with more men than is exceptable by most people. She talked about how she would spend 20,000 bucks flying to another country on a lear jet to see a concert so she could through her panties on stage. Most decent people would find this woman dispickable and I sure did, a man that was faithful to the same woman for 27 years, but I NEEDED this so bad, and I still do.
I need to add this woman was on a lot of prescription drugs, I mean Prozac, Zanax, Valium, Uppers, Downers, she said it's part of that lifestyle, yea right thats an excuse.
So after hearing all this I now realized this is not what I wanted. I wanted a real woman with a soul or normal life that wanted me too. Now comes the real bad part.
We got on my couch and started to kiss. It didn't do much for me considering this woman was so screaming hot, and she kissed like a trained machine, no feeling, but I was at least trying. My hands were all over her, I noticed she did nothing with hers. I said lets go in the bedroom, thinking it would warm up and be at least something. We went in the bedroom, she took off her clothes down to her bra and panties. It's not describable what was in front of me.
We got in bed naked, in a meaningless just take our clothes off and jump in sort of way. This woman was 5 ft 7 inches, weighed 105 pounds, beautiful shaved vagina, pierced belly button, tan from head to toe from the tanner, and fake C size boobs and her surgeon was a master. Guess what? It's all she had.
We started to kiss in bed, I was trying, my hands were all over her, but her hands just laid there. She was not wet (probably the anti depressants) After 5 minutes of making out naked, I had to take her hand and move it to my groin. Her hand just laid there for about 10 seconds, then was gone again. Then she said just stick it in me and then I have to get back to my girlfriend. It's like this woman was a manufactured sex toy you pose and screw then through her away. This was a trainwreck happening when I needed this so bad. My fist time in 27 years with a woman, and she was a 10 with no soul, drugged up, and empty sex.
Well, my penise was limp, I felt sick and nervous, there was no way I was going to get hard with this poor woman, I did feel sorry for her some. I looked at that gorgeous vagina, and thought about how many scum bags had done it with her. I just could not get hard. I was nervous, I was disgusted with this whole experience and with the type of woman I was about to do it with for the first time besides my wife.
I told her this was not going to happen, I don't rush through sex like this, and was not into wham bam thank you mam sex. I thought she would stay all night or at least take the right time in bed with me, not 15 minutes just to get off. I told her this kind of sex isn't going to make her any happier that her money and stuff. I work out ten hours a week, have no fat on my body, I'm rippling muscle from all that training, and woman tell me I'm so good looking. Well, this woman never looked at my body while in bed, never touched me, she just wanted to kiss, have me stick it in there, and go home. By the way, she also said I didn't need to use a condom.
After telling her this was not going to happen (oh but god I wanted and needed to) she then said, and this was sssoooo nice, she said, "Will you lick me and make me have an orgasm? so I did. Glad she was so concerned with my feelings. Then I took her back to her car.
I have not eaten in 4 days and I had no fat on my body to begin with. I have not left my house in 4 days or gone to work. This was the most horrible experience of my life, to want to do it with this gorgeous woman (gorgeous only physically with help from surgeons, tanners, tattoes, and piercings), but not to be able to get hard from nerves, being so turned off by who she was but not how she looked. This woman was an empty posable sex toy that looked created. What I would give to actually meet a nice woman and have this be right and have meaning.
Please someone tell me how to look at this. I feel like I'm not a man, then at the same time partly glad to know I didn't go all the way with this nightmare. I wanted her so bad, needed it so bad, but couldn't. Please help me, I'm so upset and hurt and lost. I will never do a one night stand again. Please don't tell me I never should have even tried this, I know. I feel like now why even work out to look good for women, why live, why do anything if I can't have sex with another woman when I'm so alone please help me.
Did you find this post useful?
|
Replies(6)
User Profile
Georgia59
replied on October 10th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
First of all- you don't need to feel so bad about what you did. Lots of people have sex with random people, and don't feel bad about it at all. There is nothing 'wrong' with two consenting adults having sex.

However, it seems as though you had a hard time because you didn't love her? Sex to you has always been with someone you loved, and now you try to have sex with someone you don't love (or even like) and you aren't into it. Why does that surprise you? All it does is prove that you value sex.

You will be able to have sex with another woman! Find another woman you really like, spend some time getting to know her, and let things flow. Then you can start thinking about sex, after a few dates and after you have determined that you really value her as a person, not just a body.

Do you still love your wife? Leaving someone just because you've never had sex with anyone else seems like a silly reason, especially since the sex was great. Unless there were other parts of your relationship that were messed up.

So basically, you don't need to feel so bad! All you've learned is that you need to find a woman you actually have feelings for before you have sex with her. And that's perfectly normal- even for a man.
Did you find this post useful?
|
Avatar
talos4
replied on October 10th, 2007
New User
I guess in some ways I feel bad for not doing it or being able to do it, but this woman was SO lethargic and such a tramp, like a trained toy taught to be posed. I guess it's not that uncommon for one night stands to go bad. But if this woman and I would have talked a while, and I felt comfortable with her, and thought she was nice, I sure hope it would have went different.
Did you find this post useful?
|
User Profile
Georgia59
replied on October 10th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Sure, if you had spent time getting to know her and actually had a connection, you probably would've been fine.

Like I said, for many people (including men) an emotional connection is really important to sex. Especially since you've only ever had sex with your wife, who you've known for so long and had such a deep relationship with.

Can I ask if there were other reasons you left her other than wanting to have sex with someone new?
Did you find this post useful?
|
User Profile
Georgia59
replied on October 10th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
If you ever plan on doing this again, use a condom- even if the woman says not to. Insist on protecting yourself. Even for oral sex- there are female condoms or dental dams you can use, or even cut open a condom or a glove and use that.
Did you find this post useful?
|
Avatar
talos4
replied on October 10th, 2007
New User
My wife and I just drifted apart. We're just not going to be a thing anymore. She's been trying to get back together with me since I left, and won't see anyone else. But it's over. Unless someone has been with only one person for 27 years it's hard to understand, but that connection we had is dead. My only dream now is to find someone who I can start over with. I looked it up, about 90% of Americans say one night stands are wrong, immoral, unproductive and even damaging, for many many reasons. I've always thought so to. A person would have to be an awful empty or shallow person for cheap sex to make them feel better.

I say that then get myself into this disaster. I myself don't see anything wrong with two people meeting, clicking great, and going somewhere to be alone. This is something that should maybe happen once in a lifetime or very rarely. This is not what this woman was, and I was not going to be another number for her. I will never again consider touching someone unless it's right. God what a nightmare I will never forget. I cannot even relate to how this person lived, and no matter how good she looked, she was a zero. I just feel sick. I did it to myself, should have known better. Still makes me wonder if I can even do it with another woman. But this woman was no test, she was sickening but beautiful (artificially)
Did you find this post useful?
|
User Profile
Georgia59
replied on October 11th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Hmm... I would personally suggest that if you're not planning on getting back with your wife, you stop sleeping with her. You're just leading her on that way, and you're having a hard enough time moving on without involving yourself sexually with her.

I don't believe at all the 90% of Americans think one night stands are wrong. I bet at least 50% of Americans have had them. There is nothing "wrong" about two adults having sex. Ever!

You are in much less of a disaster than you think. Lke I said, just think about what you learned from this experience- that you're not shallow and you prefer to have sex with a woman who means something to you. There is nothing wrong with that! And once you find another special woman, you will be fine, and the sex will be fine.
Did you find this post useful?
|
Quick Reply
Search