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Q: Bipolar Social Effects
asked by: horkrat on October 10th, 2007
New User
When you had bipolar in its early stages, and you were in a social environment, did you feel like whenenver yuo werent being talked to you were being snubbed? And that maybe somebody had been spreading rumors about you behind your back?

I think this is paranoia and its an effect of the depression stage of my bipolar. I am much more reasonable during my manic stage (haha) and don't feel this paranoia.

Do any of you get this feeling? Like a feeling of sad disappointment and heavy failure and strong pessimism for your social life and the way people see you, despite the fact that it may not be so.

When people walk by me (without addressing me) during my depression i get sad and it clouds up my day and EVERY time it happens it takes a shot at my self esteem until I'm a cripple. ahh... but a friendly/nice comment from someone or making the class laugh shoots me right back up into hypomania.. but then i go back down again easily. I think wearing a hooded sweatshirt or anything baggy makes me feel depressed because the more material between me and the people im talking (or not talking) with, the more secluded i feel.

Any comments/observations warmly welcome
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ThriceP86
replied on October 11th, 2007
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I kind of know what you mean but I get the pessism and low self-esteem from my social anxiety. Do you think you might have some of that? I am terrible with it sometimes especially when talking to girls... especially really cute girls. Anyways, I know what you mean about some of this.

Paranoia can be trouble. Its good you are self-aware about all of this and its good you can recognize what you're thinking and possibly why you're thinking it. I think you should just try to understand the people around you. Try this: Ask a friend or family member who's really close to you something positive about you. Also, ask them if they think your a likable person.

It took my therapist to tell me, since he knows me quite well now, that most people tend to like me since I'm a likable, easy-going guy. And that's whether its people I know from school or just from first impressions. The way I see it, most people tend to make good first impressions because most people want to find something in common with other people.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense but I tried. I hope this helps. Just don't trust your paranoia and especially don't trust that negative self talk. Take it easy, horkat. Wink Smile
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mrsbuzski
replied on October 11th, 2007
Experienced User
Subconscious
No. People always feel like they are being talked about. But the matter of fact is to not give a rats ass about it! No one is perfect! So, why would you look to a mortal man for consolance?
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BoneyardDiva
replied on October 11th, 2007
Experienced User
My husband has mentioned that he feels paranoid about what ppl may be saying about him at times. The way we handle it is to talk about it & I remind him that ppl aren't always talking about him & that he's safe with me. Sometimes, if I use a rational tone, he "snaps out of" what he's experiencing and realizes he was being paranoid. I'm not suggesting someone can just "pop" out of a paranoia, but my husband usually just needs to hear it from someone he trusts & he feels better.

I hope that helps, horkrat.

BYD
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daffodil67
replied on November 2nd, 2007
Experienced User
People do NOT ALWAYS feel liek they are being talked about...that is sheer nonsense. And yes, you can have subtle symptoms liek that tha twill be helped by a small dose of an antispychotic, which are being used more and more in conjunctin with mood stabilizers and antidepressants to control bipolar symptoms.
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EndlessApathy
replied on November 3rd, 2007
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I feel like that constantly while in mania. Every time I hear laughter I feel like it's directed towards me. I feel I am being ridiculed wherever I go and I hate going places .
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abnrmlmind
replied on November 3rd, 2007
Experienced User
that leans more towards social anxiety and isnt uncommon.
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Angel1969
replied on November 13th, 2007
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My bf has social anxiety and low self esteem. However I have been careful to only introduce him to very loving and positive people, I may have a party buddy that is a blast but if I feel it would threaten his pyschi or be a negative experience, we dont go. I believe he needed someone to believe in him before he could believe in himself, and he is coming out of his shell slowly and learning that not everyone is judging him.
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BoneyardDiva
replied on November 14th, 2007
Experienced User
EndlessApathy wrote:
I feel like that constantly while in mania. Every time I hear laughter I feel like it's directed towards me. I feel I am being ridiculed wherever I go and I hate going places.


This sounds a lot like my husband. Is there anything that makes you feel less anxious when in public, Endless?

BYD
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EndlessApathy
replied on November 14th, 2007
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Well, what works for me is listening to my ipod. Music calms me down a lot, and usually when I'm out and about I have headphones in my ears. In instances where I can't use my headphones, deep breathing sometimes works, and I've incorporated many meditation techniques into into my everyday life in an attempt to be essecially in meditation while living life. A very good tactic I learned, along with meditation, is to simply ACCEPT the negative comments. If I don't try and fight it, then it seems to pass faster. Sometimes, it takes someone else to give me a reality check. Cigarettes also help, but I've hears they are hazardous to your health Smile.
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CarolDiane
replied on November 15th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Sounds more like a social issue then Bi-Polar. Have you been diagnosis Bi-Polar? What you have mentioned is not uncommon. The other poster is right when they said it seems more like a self esteem issue then anything else. Have you talked to anyone about this yet? Like a counselor or anyone?


Carrie
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LaughCuzYouCan
replied on November 29th, 2007
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Help Me Understand!
Hey everybody,
i'm new to this website, and i apologize if you find this too personal or offensive, but i'm doing a research paper for my english class on Bipolar disorder and i was wondering if any of you would like to answer a few of these questions for me. it would help me a lot, and show me what kind of things you guys think of the whole situation, instead of just what books tell me.
1)Is it easy to talk to strangers, like the next person in line at the grocery store or someone on the bus?

2)Do you find joy in playing sports/music/art/work or any other hobbies you may have? or are there two sides to each event, such as it has its joys and sorrows?

3)what brings you "back down to earth" per say, or what grounds you?

4)Does medication actually help, or make it worse?

5)how do you think your friends are effected by your bipolar disorder?(sorry if that sounded harsh in any way)

6) do you have moments when you feel normal, or inbetween your high's and low's? if so are they long, and how did you get there?

7)if there is one thing you could tell everyone about being bipolar that would help them understand what you are going through, what would it be?
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bettyboo302
replied on November 29th, 2007
New User
I totally understand what you mean. I'm 19 and just realizing that i may really be bipolar myself. My mom is bipolar and I can see myself in her so much. It's crazy. I am very paranoid also. And you are so right about when someone speaks it makes you feel so good but when someone just walks by it is like so depressing. Bipolar is so weird to me. It's not fun by no means.
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Mike East Texas
replied on November 30th, 2007
Experienced User
Help
I just went into hyper over at the depression discussion group. I am 53. I have studied psychology. I never thought to apply it to myself. I have been having short cycles. I have had this since childhood. My parent, and my brothers were ashamed of me. When I would come out of isolation, I would say, and do unapropriate things.
I would be hit with hard ridicule by my family. I would go back into isolation and dream about death. I just went through a divorce. My marriage started to decline after I took a new job away from home. I was blameing her. But, it might have been me. I work in isolation. When I came home to my family, I didn't know how to behave. I wasn't a bad person. I was just obnoxious. No one wanted to be with me, just like my childhood family. No one ever wants to be with me! I am gone again. Can't write no more.
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To0kxy
replied on December 4th, 2007
New User
Your not alone, i feel exactly the same. Keep telling yourself that its all in your head. You have to convince yourself that its all in your head. It is the worst feeling though so when i am like that i try to put myself only around people that know me well.
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puzzld
replied on December 7th, 2007
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oh, no no NO - please don't repeat "it's all in your head." that is what i say to myself when i'm suicidle - and other stuff like, i just need to turn my head off and everything will be better and quiet. I guess i see how it could help some people but honestly the thought of it makes me cringe- it is all IN MY HEAD IN MY HEAD GOTTA GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD....INMYHEAD. k moving on. oh one more thing in this paragraph Smile i agree with To0kxy (btw - that is a hard name to type fast) i find it helpful to have a people that know me well, a comfort zone but more like a comfort network. network implies branching out and in most contexts. my safe people and places - husband bgf (i'm lucky, i have 2Smile, our pets, father john (still working on comfort level here), home. I really really really love home sweet home, ah. dorothy said it best "there's NO place like home" "place" jk... lol. yeah, i'm smiling. wierd.

Mike East TX - you sound similar to my 49 year old brother who has bipolar, with psychotic features. he is an inventor and lives with our father. he doesn't show his inventions but he will talk to you about them in length. like you, my brother was ridiculed by our father and he would usually retreat. he has a violent side - like punching the walls and doors. you are not a mirror of a reflection in HIS eyes. what do YOU do when you isolate yourself??
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puzzld
replied on December 7th, 2007
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Re: Help Me Understand!
LaughCuzYouCan wrote:
Hey everybody,
i'm new to this website, and i apologize if you find this too personal or offensive, but i'm doing a research paper for my english class on Bipolar disorder and i was wondering if any of you would like to answer a few of these questions for me. it would help me a lot, and show me what kind of things you guys think of the whole situation, instead of just what books tell me.
1)Is it easy to talk to strangers, like the next person in line at the grocery store or someone on the bus? wasn't easy at first but i always say something, even if it's just, hello.

2)Do you find joy in playing sports/music/art/work or any other hobbies you may have? or are there two sides to each event, such as it has its joys and sorrows? art is most joyous and the only sorrow i have for it is not being able to do my own art more. i love music and listen too it all the time. but some songs make me sad or enduce a bad mood. but, isn't that what most people do?

3)what brings you "back down to earth" per say, or what grounds you? i never feel grounded.

4)Does medication actually help, or make it worse? it's a catch 22

5)how do you think your friends are effected by your bipolar disorder?(sorry if that sounded harsh in any way) none taken. i know some miss me when i become reclusive. i'm sure they worry about me. but maybe not because i was always the one not to worry about.

6) do you have moments when you feel normal, or inbetween your high's and low's? if so are they long, and how did you get there? i have no clue yet. sorry stretch

7)if there is one thing you could tell everyone about being bipolar that would help them understand what you are going through, what would it be?
unfortunately, i don't think i could say anything to help them understand
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