Should I Confront Husband about Lies? Posted: 10-10-07 10:51am
Well, my husbands favorite numbers are
143637... hmm they're just numbers right?
big deal? Ok so, he told me once.. when we
were dating it means.."I love you forever
and always" or something like that.. so
I'm like ok.. whatever.. Soo after we
wedded in Dec 2006.. and moved to our new
home.. he gets an email on myspace from
this girl..
I happened to walk over to him when he was
reading his email.. and I asked him who it
was.. and he said it was his "cousin".. in
part of the email she was congratulating
him about getting married.. and how the
wedding went.. and left her number at the
bottom of the email asking him to call her
back. I asked if he was going to and he
said no.. He emailed her back... telling
her about the wedding .. then left his
number.
Months later..
I happened to come across those numbers
again.. and asked him.. what it meant..
and he said.. they didn't mean anything..
that they're just his favorite numbers...
Last month..
He'd gone to work... early.. I woke up..
and cleaned the house as usual.. he'd left
the computer on all night.. so I go over
to shut it off.. he'd left his account
logged on ... I wasn't trying to be noise
or anything.... I noticed he had a lot of
emails from her... soo I kinda scrolled
down.. and saw.. one w/ "143637" in the
subject... so I got curious .. since its
his favorite number after all.. so I
clicked on it..
Well, found out.. she was really his
ex-girlfriend.. they dated for a while..
then she cheated on him and got married.
She's been married for 2 years.. unhappy
and wishes she was with him instead... and
if he's happy with me or not... and that..
143637 will always be their number...
So at this point.. I'm disappointed..
hurt... confused..
.. he lied to me..
What should I do.. Should I worry?! Should
I confront him? He has like 20+ emails
from her../ and he's only replied to 3 of
them.. Of course.. I know he loves me..
and shows it all the time.. and he spoils
me rotten.. but could it be..that he still
loves her too?
I know it was wrong of me to have read
that.. But lately I've been feeling so
depressed over this..
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 10-10-07 10:54am
confront him and be FIRM ABOUT IT
sounds like he doesnt mind her emailing
him huh? and she sounds like shes still
interetsed in him
BIG RED FLAG
you need to confront him an let him know
how you feel
if i EVER found out travis was talking to
his ex like that and wsnt telling me id
leave him in a heartbeat
you never know what could be going on that
you dont know about
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x-bad
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 10-10-07 11:33am
.. He gets his cell phone bills sent to
the house... and it has all the calls made
and receive listed.. SO I know they're not
calling each other.. or seeing each
other.. since she lives like 4000 miles
away from us.
I've tried confronting him about the
emails.. last week.. but we just kinda
ended getting mad at each other for a few
hours.. he thought we were arguing.. about
him being obsessed w/ car parts and ebay..
and didn't even bother to listen and just
left. Nothing got done..
The real problem is.. he doesn't open up
to me.. he never tells me whats bothering
him.. he never talks about how he feels
about things.. and it really makes me
mad.. I've talked to him about it
already.. and all he does.. is smiles..
and say things like.. "ok, I'm sorry" and
hugs me and thats the end of it.
I'll definitely make time to talk to him.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 10-10-07 11:36am
yeah but id be devestated to know they are
still talking even on emails
i hope when you guys talk it goes welll
let me know if you need any help
i know your sad and hurt by this but hang
in there girl!
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The Mrs
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Oct 2007 Posts: 451 Location: , Texas
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Posted: 11-03-07 15:41pm
He shouldn't have lied to you. If my
husband told me an exgirlfriend was a
cousin of his, I'd feel like he was taking
advantage of the fact that I didn't know
any better, and that violates my trust.
Don't feel bad for your feelings about
this, you have every right to feel that
way after realizing his dishonesty. Just
sit him down and let him know that earlier
he didn't listen to you at all... that you
weren't nagging about obsessions with car
parts on ebay... but that instead you
wanted to talk about this "cousin" of his
that you found out wasn't really his
cousin at all. Ask him why he feels like
he has to lie to you, and that this
wouldn't even have been an issue if he
would have come clean. Let him know that
you know he loves you, but that you also
must have trust in order to maintain a
healthy marriage. He doesn't need to
"protect you" from hearing about
ex-girlfriends, they are bound to be
there. But it's a lot easier for us to
accept things like that when men are
upfront and honest about it.
Good luck hun, I hope everything works out
and he can understand where you're coming
from.
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1136 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
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Posted: 11-08-07 14:32pm
Hello there, so how are you doing? How
are things between you husband?
I wish you well....
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Marianne0558
Supporter
Joined: 10 Sep 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: Charleston, SC USA
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Posted: 11-08-07 14:50pm
I just wanted to comment about "143736"
It DOES mean "I love you forever and
always"
1= I
4= Love
3= You
and so on...
It goes by how many letters are in each
word.
Sounds fishy to me.
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x-bad
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 11-09-07 14:36pm
Marianne0558
wrote:
I just wanted to comment
about "143736"
It DOES mean "I love you forever and
always"
1= I
4= Love
3= You
and so on...
It goes by how many letters are in each
word.
Sounds fishy to
me.
Omg wow, I've never noticed that before.
Thanks!
We had a serious talk about this a week
ago.. and he says they're just friends and
I shouldn't have to worry about
unimportant things like that.. and I
believe him.
Well, this morning we were getting ready
for work and he got another IM from her ..
asking why he's not responding to her IM's
and emails.. how he is doing, when he's
going back to California to visit his
family, maybe they can met up for dinner,
and how his marriage life is..
He quickly responded back by saying.. He's
never been more happier and that we just
bought a home and can't wait to get
settled in.
Ok so, how do I get this woman to stay out
of our life? She is best friends with my
husbands sister, so what should I do?
Should I call her and tell her to back
off? I'm starting to wonder if her husband
knows what she's doing behind his back.
Thanks to everyone in advance.
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The Mrs
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Oct 2007 Posts: 451 Location: , Texas
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Posted: 11-09-07 14:44pm
As much as this situation would make my
insides boil, I think that you can trust
your husband. He obviously hasn't been
responding to her since she sent him an IM
asking about it. Why don't you just ask
your husband if he could send her a
message saying something along the lines
of, "I think it would be more respectful
to my wife if we didn't speak any longer".
That way she hears it from him. If she
really isn't important to him, being this
straightforward shouldn't bother him...
right? Especially if
it'll make you feel better.
Especially if
it'll make you feel better.
