One of my best friends just lost her dad on Valentine's day due to skin cancer.
He was in his mid-forties.

From an outside point of view, he kind of lost his humor. He was always a very funny man and (I assume) the chemotherapy got to him.

When the cancer spread to his brain, the doctors gave him like 2 weeks to live. This was Christmastime. Miraculously, he made it until Valentine's Day. He got to meet his first granddaughter and he got to learn of his daughter-in-law's pregnancy with a boy. He was very tickled about that.

Towards the end, my friend would talk to me a lot about her father. She dreaded going to the hospital because he was a completely different person. He had no idea who any of his children were, or even his wife. Sometimes, she said he would come and go, as he knew who they were sometimes and would sob.

How wonderful of you to do research and try to publish something about skin cancer. I think people think they are somewhat invisible to getting skin cancer and aren't aware enough that too much sun exposure can kill them.

Thank you so much for contacting me. If you dont mind i have a few questions if its ok. Where and how did he contract it? Can you tell me a bit about how he emotionally reacted to the news of skin cancer?
Your such a Help!

I can't really say how he emotionally reacted to learning he had skin cancer because I wasn't there. I visited my friend and he most of the time was being funny and all but he always told me to wear sunscreen and not go to tanning beds, which I won't anymore.

I believe he got the skin cancer on his nose, if I'm not mistaken. Being in Charleston, SC, we are around the beaches. It is very popular to go boating and beaching and doing a lot of things outdoors. I think my friend told me he was an avid surfer and beach-goer when he was younger. He boated and things like that without wearing sunscreen.

I can imagine, you neva think of these things when you younger, often think your invincible and thats when it happens. Did his personality change at all after he had been diagnosed? did he behave differently emotionally? how well do you feel he accepted his fate if at all?

Well at first, the treatments were working. I could imagine that this would have given him a hopeful outcome.
Then his body began to reject the treatments, so I could notice a drastic change in his personality. He seemed more or less detached. He slept a lot in a different room than his wife (not sure why). I remember him making finalizations on his will and burial arrangements at one point.
My friend ended up in the hospital after a bad car accident the same time her father was in the hospital for complications. He was in the room every time I visited her. He would talk about how horrible the treatments were and how they weren't helping and that he didn't want to go through them anymore, which is very understandable.
Towards the end, I know he was more accepting of his fate because he would talk about 'when he is gone,' scenarios and such.
He was very fun to be around until the end. I would say, November-ish, before they found the lesions on his brain.

Thats terrible, I feel awful for having to ask these questions of you, but if it raises some awareness then some good has come out of it. just a one more question if you dont mind and i'll leave you to it as im sure this is hard for you, but you have been wonderful and very helpful. how did his family cope emotionally with the diagnosis, treatment and eventual death?

I'm not quite sure how the rest of the family dealt with the news. By the way, I'm not at all aggravated or annoyed with the questions. We all knew he would eventually pass, and I'm actually more relieved because I know he isn't in pain anymore. He always said how painful the whole ordeal was.

My friend's name is Emily. When her father was diagnosed, it was a big deal. She went through most of those stages of denial and all... but the treatment was working in the beginning, so there wasn't much worry. Most of the time, skin cancer isn't the malignant kind and can be removed with no trouble at all.
His wasn't. It was melanoma.

When he was in his final stages, she was very distraught and depressed, which is understandable. I wouldn't know what to do if it were my father. The only thing I could do was offer my ear and shoulder, because I couldn't really give her any advise as I have never been through something like that.

After he passed, she seemed to be okay. I know she was depressed, but overall, she seemed to have finally come to terms with the ordeal. She gained a lot of weight though, my guess is due to the depression. Her mother started dating again, which I know she was upset about. She's over that now though.

You always here about those steps of death? Denial, anger... acceptance?
They really are true. I've seen all of them through Emily. I have so much respect for her, more than ever. It takes an incredibly strong person to go through such an ordeal and end up 'OK' in the end. We were actually planning to do a 'cemetary day' today where we visit all of our loved ones' graves. She's sick though and I can't afford for my daughter to get sick, we just planned doing it on her next day off work. This will be the first time I have been to his grave since the funeral. I will try to ask her some of these questions when we go. I will keep you informed.

Thank you so much. this has been such a help. speaking to you has been a great insight and i hope that it wasn't to upsetting to discuss. I hope Emily feels better and appreciates the support and understanding of having such a caring friend. If she does wish to contribute please let me know, but thank you again for your help.
Take care xx

No problem at all! Most of the time, talking helps people cope. I will try to get some insight and ask her some of these questions, as she can add a whole lot more than I ever could. But, no problem at all! I think people should be made aware of cases like these because a lot of younger people don't understand the dangers of sun exposure!