This is very long and I am sorry for that. I am wondering if I am overreacting about my daughters relationship. I need some advise. She is 19 years old and a freshman in college. Her bf is 16 and has dropped out of school. They have been dating off an on for about a year now. First off I would like to say, we thought he was too young for her, but that we allowed her to date him b/c we thought she would move on b/c he was so young. After her prom last year (April) they began to spend every minute possible minute with each other, always together after school, evenings and weekends. She began to distance herself from her friends that she would be graduating with and only being with him. All summer they spent time together. We would invite him over to keep an eye on things and we noticed that they began to get very comfortable with each other around her dad and I, sitting closer and flirting a lot. We were still hoping that when she started college she would notice the difference in age, and following everyone advice we allowed them to continue to see each other. I went to college orientation/registration with her and this is when we began to be VERY concerned. Some of the kids, including guys, that she graduated with were there also. She talked to them and and hung out. She ended up with a class with one of the boys from high school and she made the comment that she was not going to tell her bf about it because he would be mad. I asked why would he be made it was just a class? She said that he didn't like the fact that she hung with him at orientation. I asked her why was that a problem and she said he made her promise not to talk to any guys that day and she did and he didn't like it, so she wasn't telling him about the class. I thought this was odd but kept my mouth shut, still thinking she would see that he was too young for her. A few days later I ran into a friend of hers and she asked how my daughter was and I asked whe was the last time she had seen her and she said orientation. I asked my daughter why she wasn't hanging with this friend and she said that her bf told her she could be friends with anyone but this girl b/c he didn't like her. The only thing is this is the only friend that would still talk to her b/c he had already sabotaged her other relationships with friends. Sirens were going off like crazy, but I kept quiet. Then one day my daughter called me and asked if I knew a phone number that she had called b/c she couldn't remember calling it. He had gone thru her phone and she had talked to this person for 45 minutes and couldn't remember who it was. She was obviously upset when she called me and I told her to tell him that it was none of his business and that I paid that phone bill and that she could talk to whoever she wanted on it. WELL, this is where the fun began. He imm. began to curse at me telling me to mind my own business and to go to hell. I then told her that she needed to go home and he really got mad then. he grabbed the phone and preceded to tell me that it was my fault that she was upset and that I needed to shut up. He said that he couldn't understand why she could not remember talking to someone for 45 min. and that was all he wanted to know. It was a very verbal arguement and it ended when she left his house. Later, talking to her I fund out that he has been checking her phone for a while and that she had to account for every call on it. I began to explain that she shouldn't have to do that if he trusted her. She told me that the problem was that he had made her promise not to talk to guys and he wanted to be sure that she wasn't calling any guys because she had promise not too. This was not the first time he had cursed at me and I really began to worry if this was headed in the wrong direction and with talking with my daughter I really believe that it has and she is protecting him completely because she should not have been doing things that he had made her promise not to do. I told her that he was controlling he and she didn't believe it. About 3 weeks later he came to my house to appologize for his behavior, he said he was sorry for his actions but then offered and excuse for them. I didn't accept it because I think that you can't appologize and give an excuse in the same breath. He has also jerked her around once when they were broke up.

I guess my question is, am i overreacting or not? Sorry this was so long but I felt like ya'll needed the whole story to help me.