Hi SilentBear, congratulations that you finally overcoming your self cutting addiction with the help of your girlfriend. Also my cousin seemed totally overcome the addiction, one major treatment is an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication which reduced the initial impulsive response to stress, plus the family therapy while also other coping strategies are somewhat developed in the program. Hope you will totally overcome it too, good luck!

My story...

I went through a long period of time where harming myself was the only way I could relieve any stress. My life was pretty bad from around 15-18 and everyone took their problems out on me. Every time I expressed my feelings back people would go into depression or start talking down on themselves and saying how they were horrible people and horrible whatever their relationship was to me was. So instead of trying to express my feelings at all I would just take it out on myself, whether it be by blood or injuries from doing things I knew I shouldn't do. It made me a hateful pessimistic person on the inside, but I never let it show on the outside.

Once I started college I just decided that I was going to stop all of it and be optimistic to a fault. Sure it wasn't healthy to do that either, seeing no bad at all and living blindly...but it was healthier than harming myself. I had a few relapses since I was 18 but it wasn't too bad. The last time was the day before new years. Instead of ruining the evening I kept it to myself and sobbingly showed my new at the time, girlfriend what I had done. That night I saw her cry for the first time and just thinking about the tears running down her face is making me tear up. I saw how much it hurt her and right then I promised I would never do it again...and I haven't. She has no idea how much that night changed me and how she made me the happy person I am. I am happy to say our 1 year is coming up in November and we are still very much happy and in love.

haha I do though, still make jokes about doing stupid things...but not because I want to get hurt...because well I'm male and male do stupid :-p but it's all in fun.

long story short
i started to get involved with the WRONG people
i started doing heavy drugs
was ebing abused
running away from home
one of my best friends died in a car wreck... so i got more depressed and started cutting. me and my friends would do it together when we got messed up.

a few months later one of my good buddies whom actually started to do drugs with us was sent to rehab. he escaped from rehab and commited suicide on rail road tracks. he layed down and rest his head on the railing and let the train just kill him.

after this i realized that could be me
what made me quit?
life

life is worth it
life is worth living and breathing and laughing and yes even the huting part
ive been clean from coke for over 2 years now. and i havent cut since either

its just not worth it

thanks suzy for sharing. i know its difficult, but you're right it's not worth it.

Your right, seeing the person you love cry over something that you did is extreamly painful... And a very powerful support

hey bear,

I stopped more out my own stubbornness than actual health descisions... It is definately NOT as easy as just quitting. I still have incredibly strong urges ("sober") for 2 years now), and at times wonder why i quit in the first place.

As far as the scars: i never really tended to do mine obvious "cutter" places, and many of them were shallow (althought there were a lot of htem), so they have faded. Iv'e considered getting the deeper ones surgically repaired, but they are a part of what has made me who i am- not really a part i'm proud of, but a part nonetheless. I dont make an effort hide them or to tell ppl, and when they ask I tell them i can't really remember what they are from, because it's true- yes they are from cutting, but i dont remeber why/ what that specific one was for.

Just wanna say congradulations to all the overcomers, addiction is one big problem in our society nowadays.

I am also proud to tell u brothers and sisters that with God's help I am free from satan's den of addiction. For years I've been living like hell my money that I work hard for it would be spent in a day for something that when I woke up I would have a headache and stress.

For those who are still strugling to quit, may God help you while you are fighting the pain of love.

To God be the glory
Mops