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No Ejaculation During Intercourse

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My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. We have an active sex life but he has never been able to finish. I've never had this problem with any other guy before. He was a virgin when we met so I was his first. I know for a fact he can finish when he masturbates. When I bring it up, he thinks I am attacking his manhood however he doesn't understand that it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Does anyone have any advice?
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replied October 8th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Re: No Ejaculation During Intercourse
redsgr36 wrote:
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. We have an active sex life but he has never been able to finish. I've never had this problem with any other guy before. He was a virgin when we met so I was his first. I know for a fact he can finish when he masturbates. When I bring it up, he thinks I am attacking his manhood however he doesn't understand that it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Does anyone have any advice?


Hi Red,

This is an old problem with no easy answers, mainly because men are men and their collective egos can't take many hits. If your boyfriend can ejaculate by hand, then it doesn't seem to be a medical problem, but a mental one.

And if it's mental, then you will have to keep the lines of communication open, so you both can discuss anything. Sometimes, the thoughts of ejaculating inside a woman scares some guys, because, subconsciously, they don't want to get her pregnant. Men also grow up masturbating and usually have no trouble shooting by themselves. But they also get used to performing by themselves and not with an audience (you).

Since he was a virgin, he had not tried sex with a real, live girl before and it might be he is still self-conscious around you when trying sex. I know you've tried talking, but this problem won't solve itself. You and he have to figure out a way to build some intimacy without making a big deal out of his ejaculating. Tell him that you want more foreplay and snuggling--go slow, gain his confidence and don't put pressure on him to perform.

Contrary to popular belief, men do have emotions, too. They just don't know how to express them as well as women. See if you can get some emotion and intimacy in the relationship rather than just the physical side and he might not be as worried about his manhood.
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replied October 8th, 2007
Maybe He's Done But Not Finished
I don't allways like to ejaculate. Because once I do i'm done - spent. I will extend my experience by putting of ejaculation as long as possible. I try to ejaculate no more than once a week.

But since you asked him and you didn't get much of an answer. And there are no erection problems I could only think of two explanations.
1. He doesn't want to get you pregnant
2. You don't provide enough sexual stimulation to reach his threshold. A man can sometimes stimulate himself much more deeply through mastrubation. This could also make him desensitized. He would have to stop mastrubating for a while before
his sensitivity returns.

-venk
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