Bipolar Ex was Breaking Promises:: Excuse or Symptom? Posted: 10-08-07 13:26pm
My ex-boyfriend told me he was bipolar
AFTER he said he didn't want the
responsibility of a relationship anymore.
We both agree we are perfect for each
other, we were amazed about how well we
fit together. Then things progressed too
fast for him to handle he says &
didn't want the responsibility of a
relationship. After we got super close,
he started to make plans w/ me then back
out at the last minute for over 2 month's
straight. I understand he gets depressed
sometimes but 2 whole months!!?? I would
accept his apology but he does the same
thing to me the following week and the
next week, etc... He tells me how much he
likes/loves me and that I am perfect and
perfect for him! I tell him the same
thing. I gave him unconditional love b/c
i knew it wasn't his fault. Then after I
didn't see him for 2 months & he kept
breaking his promises to see me I got fed
up b/c all I did was cry and get upset. Is
this a trait in someone w/ bipolar
disorder?
I started to think he was lying. I miss
him so much. i feel like i will never find
someone who is as compatible with me as he
is & vice versa. At the same time I
can't handle him breaking promises to see
me. I feel like his word means nothing to
me. He drinks by himself sometimes too. He
says he is stressed about a couple of
other things right now too.
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Jake3463
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Posts: 28 Location: Allentown
Two Cents Posted: 10-09-07 05:34am
It might have nothing to do with his
Bipolar and more that he has other things
going on in his life. There is no typical
Bipolar behavior when it comes to his
relationships. This has happened to me
with non-bipolar people so it might be
just that he has other things going on.
If he is having bipolar depression it can
last for several months if not treated
with medication.
Even with medication I have mild
depression that lasts several months at
times. You have to realize that kind of
depression isn't anything like you've
experienced. Its not a case of the blues
its a chemical defieciency and pretty
intense that lasts a while. If he isn't on
medication there really is nothing you can
do for him. Only a Dr. or therapist can
help him. Best for you to move on if he
doesn't want the relationship or if he is
not getting help.
So the answer to your question. He could
be depressed for two months.
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lostangel078
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Mar 2007 Posts: 9 Location: los angeles
I Feel You On This Posted: 10-10-07 21:25pm
Imsad,
I feel you 100%. I experienced what you
have EXACTLY!!! I am a guy who was dating
a bipolar young lady, and we hit it off
exceptionally, i mean a perfect match..we
used to always say how we were perfect for
each other, and how she saw me as a
blessing in her life, and how she never
thought she would ever find a man like me
ever..about roughly 2weeks after telling
me she was falling in love with me, and
that she had fallen for me, one day out of
the total blue, she said she had been to
the doctor, been diagnosed with bipolar
and it was getting worse, and we could no
longer speak or be friends at all....even
though we were in love, and super close
(we'd been dating 3 months). we had many
many many plans coming up in the next few
weeks and months..trips, parties, tons a
stuff planned that she just backed out on
and ignored totally...
this almost killed me. i love, loved this
girl with my heart 100%. i searched for
answers for months and months, to no
avail. she cut me out of her life all
together...didnt even want to be my friend
at all - no contact at all.
I feel your pain like no other. i guess
this is a trait of bipolar persons. stand
strong, pray for them, and find hobbies to
do that will get them off the brain. hit
me back, i'd like to hear more about your
situation. stay stong.
anjalo
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imsad
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Oct 2007 Posts: 6 Location: , Florida
to Anjalo - I Feel You On This Posted: 10-12-07 16:05pm
Hey there. I'm glad you can relate to
this. I know, he asked me to be his
girlfriend after less than two weeks. We
were amazed how we were so much alike. He
is truly bipolar and he used to have a
super serious relationship w/ someone who
was suffering from depression but she left
him. He says he still wants me in his life
but he said he is 'incapable' right now
until he gets on meds (he had quit taking
them). I cry a lot and feel down a lot b/c
this is the first time in my life i have
EVER been so compatible w/ someone in
EVERY way! It was awesome. It's only been
5 mo's but it seems like i have known him
for 5 years or more. I told him I
understand and I will be patient & I
will be here for him. I hope he comes
around eventually but I can't be
"promised" he will. There is still hope
though. Him and I still talk.
I tried to date other guys to get my mind
off of him but I compare every guy to him
and they just don't compare at all! I got
it BAD, huh??? lol
It sucks that your ex just totally cut you
out. Sometimes I wonder if that would be
better??!! It just sucks when you meet
'that special person' something from the
outside which neither one has control over
has to screw it up!!!
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ebaris
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Dec 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 12-11-07 19:52pm
honestly, i have bp and i've done this. i
have a record of just deciding one day
that my then bf is not at all right for
me, and whats is more, i am disgusted by
him. i then distance myself from him asap,
because i feel like i can't stand being
near him i'm so revolted. i also jump into
relationships quickly.
and...i'm flaky as hell. i'll promise all
sorts of things (well, now that i'm more
aware, i won't promise, but i'll
tentatively agree) and then back out at
the last minute because the plans i
thought i'd enjoy are of absolutely no
interest to me.
i'm very sorry you had to go through
that...but there are some redeeming
qualities aren't there?
