Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1136 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 17
Thanked:7
Posted: 10-25-07 10:54am
Thank you so much for you response
milly05. I have had a long time to think
and like you said look at the real
reasons. And frankly I know what I have
to do to stay sober and it really has
nothing to do with him. I think most of my
problem is that I am jealous because he
can drink and I cant. So we have decided
to stay together and work it out. I feel
this is true love and I have never doubted
his love or commitment for me, it was just
so devastating to know that we want
different things. But couples cant be
just alike. So I set some boundries so my
sobriety isnt at stake. Such as no alcohol
in the house, I dont want him home drunk
and trying to have sex with me. If he us
drinking then sleep on the counch or stay
out. I dont want to be around him while
hes drinking. He hasnt drank since and we
havent had any major issues. Once he gets
a DUI or starts spending bill money then I
know he is out of control and I will
leave. I am actually grateful this
happened. I am blessed actually. We have
seperate lives in a sense. He can go out
with his buddies and I can go out with the
girls, instead of doing everything
together. I now have something thats mine
and only mine. I think this makes sense.
But this has been a great thing for me
because I am focusing more on what Rosie
needs instead of what he needs.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 10-25-07 11:52am
Maybe if, facing the thought of losing
you, he'll clean up?
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1136 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 17
Thanked:7
Posted: 10-25-07 14:43pm
I am not sure. But thats not what I was
trying to do. I would want him to do
something not threaten him like that and
force him into it. Its not fair.
But I have never seen him cry in all the
years I have known him and he hardly shows
his emotions, not even anger. But that
day he cried like a baby! He said he
didnt know what he would do if I left.
Just the way he fell apart surprised me.
I think he will contain himself though.
He knows I am very serious and I dont
think he will try to act like a foolish
drunk. There is so much to lose if he goes
out of control. I mean we have a great
life together and I am pretty sure he
doesnt want to lose it over a drink. Well
I mean drinking alcoholicly of course.
Only time will tell me how he is going to
be. I have to give him the benefit of the
doubt.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 10-25-07 21:21pm
I know, but a lot of times when you're in
a relationship like that, allowing it is
enabling it you know? So if you don't
allow it, he will get a little bit of
reality and stop?? Maybe....I've had
alcoholic family members, I know how awful
it can be.
It sounds to me like this breakdown was
him reaching out and admitting he wasn't
happy with his life/behavior. Be
supportive, but only supportive to his NOT
drinking. You know? I mean, like you said,
you gotta look out for yourself.
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1136 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 17
Thanked:7
Posted: 10-26-07 09:19am
Yeah I think it was definately a reality
check for him, but like you said his true
feelings are finally out. I guess this has
been eating at him for quite some time.
But the fear of your life falling apart
should snap anyone out of it. Thanks for
your support.
