Depression Forum - Anxiety, Depression Or Out of My Mind?

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Q: Anxiety, Depression Or Out of My Mind?

asked by: Pootin on September 7th, 2003

New User

I am a 24 year old female and am totally confused as to what is wrong with me. In 2001 I suffered from anxiety after a long term relationship with someone I loved a lot ended. I was on paxil for 6 months and went off it. Ever since then I have never thought I would need it again. I felt relatively normal and even joined the gym and was happy to be single and get out and have some fun. About 6 months ago I met a really terrific guy and I love him a lot. Our relationship is a long distance relationship for now. Going into the relationship I was honest and told him I had anxiety a few years ago. My man also is currently on paxil because he had and still gets bouts of anxiety/depression.
During the last couple of weeks we've had our disagreements and our fights (more so than before). Because of that i've felt myself slowly going into a downward spiral. I keep having dreams that he is seeing other women when I know deep down inside that it's just a dream and absolutely not true. In my last relationship I had the same kind of dreams. I wake up and i'm trembling..So scared that it might be true. I even told him about one dream I had that he was with another woman and he said "it's just a dream. You are the only one for me." but that is just the tip of the iceberg.
Some mornings I don't even want to wake up and go to work. Sometimes it takes a lot for me to get up and go. I notice I have no patience anymore and some days I feel like ripping people's heads off. Some days I want to be totally left alone other days I crave closeness and companionship. I look back on my life and I obsess over the mistakes i've made and how I really haven't done as much with my life as I had hoped. I still live with my parents, I don't have a car, work at a customer service job when I have my b.A. In psychology and have a $35,000 debt from university.
Basically I sit and feel sorry for myself other days I get really angry at myself and the people around me. When I look back I think, "why did I do that?". I know this isn't right but I can't stop myself. I am so close to reaching for a paxil hoping that it will help these feelings go away again. I am all mixed up. One moment i'm so happy then the next moment this feeling of gloom and having no control comes over me. This time I feel maybe i'm depressed because i've yet to experience an anxiety attack again. I just wish I could fall asleep for a week and this feeling would be gone. Crying or Very sad

what should I do? Thank you for allowing me the time to explain my situation. Any comments or suggestions are welcome.

Replies(9)

Rudy

replied on September 7th, 2003

New User

Re: Anxiety, Depression Or Out If My Mind

Your story sounds alot like mine.

I always compare myself to others, why are they so successful and im not? Why have I wasted so much time regarding a career choice?

Why didnt I go to school to learn that? Should I become a nurse? Should I become a webmaster? I know I need to do something. Ah whats the use, I will probably fail anyway.

3 years ago, out of nowhere, I had a major anxiety attack...I was flunking a class and a freaked out! After a week of that I reached for the phone book and looked up 'mental health', went to see a Dr.

I was diagnosed with depression and put on effexor, and I never had another anxiety attack again! Til last thursday, 4 months ago I was feeling good enough that I was like, "i dont need these meds anymore, get off of them and save the money, so I slowly went off of them, if you dont go off them slowly you will freak out! That was in april when I went off of them, everything was great til 4 months later....Bang, outta nowhere,
anxiety attack and depression hit me like a rock,,,and for no reason.

I even started to cry during a football game! That aint right! So, im going back to the Dr. Tommorrow and getting back on effexor.
Effexor worked great for me, I just felt normal, I didnt have any high type feeling, I just felt like a normal person. My dr said I suffered from anxiety and depression and she said effexor was the best one in her opinion. Ive never tried paxil.
I had some extra effexor that I kept when I cycled off, im starting to cycle back on it. Depression sucks, its the worse thing I have ever been through.

Kate2468

replied on September 9th, 2003

New User

Hello

I'd like to recommend a book my roommate gave me, "you're erroneous zones" (no, not "erogenous" though that might make for entertaining reading Shocked

) by wayne w. Dyer. I've been reading it for the pass few months and it's helped me identify and reason-out thoughts and behaviors that have been more harmful than helpful to my emotional health.

Also, do you keep a journal? Sometimes I find writing out what's bothering me helps me to keep my end-of-the-world problems in perspective.

In the mean time, take care and keep sane Wink

Pootin

replied on September 12th, 2003

New User

Thanks for the recommendation of that book. I will see if I can find it at a bookstore Laughing

anyone have any other advice for books particularly ones that deal with handling stress and destructive behaviours? Maybe even a book that has a comical twist to it.

Treetattoo

replied on September 12th, 2003

New User

Depression

Hi.

I feel bad for you as I know how deblitating depression can be. You did not state whether your health care person indicated to you if he/she thought it was depression or anxiety. It sounds as though now you are afraid to go into a relationship. It's known that individuals who are depressed are able to bring down the strongest person over time. It can tax or destroy relationships. The constant mood swings and insecurity. My husband says he never knows what he's going to walk into when he comes home.

People don't even realize that they are depressed until thrown into a streesfull situation. You don't need to live surrounded by anxiety chained to your home. The hardest thing to do is get yourself out and get involved. If you can't handle people find a nice park where no one will approach you. There is nothing wrong with going back to you health care provider and going through another treatment. You don't need to suffer alone. Should you go back to the medication find out from your Dr. What it is you do have. And what is the long term prognosis. And when your head and heart are thinking and feeling clearly take stock of your relationship. Does he take his meds. On a regular basis. We are notorius for self medicating or no medication at all. It is not an absured a question as one may think. Think about what set you off. Just remember you are not alone, you don't have to suffer alone anymore.

I think I may have a better handle on how you feel, I was diagnosed manic-depressive eleven years ago. My family had a suicide watch on me for the first month until my medication took effect. And I regularly jump off the wagon.

Good luck to you.

Pootin

replied on September 28th, 2003

New User

Yesterday I just started writing for the first time in my journal. Hopefully this will help me notice a pattern and sort out my thoughts. I have also started reading "in the meantime" by iyanla vanzant. It's an amazing book and I should be done reading it today. I realize how I am living "in the basement" and I am living "in the meantime". The book is about finding yourself and the love you want. It talks about how we all need to do mental housekeeping to get rid of the past pains and hurts and past memories and disappointments. If you have felt completely lost or just downright confused, pick this book up. You won't regret it!

Rain

replied on November 15th, 2003

New User

With Ya

Always be patient and loving to yourself an do not beat yourself up. You are very young. Therapy is the best because someone can see your problems from the outside.

phil dennison

replied on November 17th, 2003

Experienced User

You are exactly like my wife, okay what I want you to do, is to start talking to god. Find a church and never miss a sunday. Do what ever the church ask. You will see this will take your mind off of you. Mr. Green

peace123

replied on January 29th, 2008

New User

Hii Everyone

I was suffering from anxiety and depression for the last 7-8 yrs. I know how a person feels when he/she suffer from anxiety or depression. Sometimes we feel that people who are handicapped have much better life than us and thats true.

I recently did AOL course (Art of Living) in which they teach us various meditation techniques and yoga and believe me it is very helpful.

If anyone needs any kind of help from me, he/she is most welcome.

Praise

replied on February 24th, 2009

New User

Depression... I found a solution.

I am a young women and have had to go thru some tough times.. Was diagnosed with a vey rare disease and have to cope up with all the symptoms associated with it.. plus the side effects of medicine... life has seemed very difficult to get through with..
I found a course called the art of living and i have been doing the breathing practises I learnt from them... since then.. I have found that i feel so good... It is a wonderful course and it has helped millions of people with this problem.

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