Anxiety, Depression Or Out of My Mind? Posted: 09-07-03 09:45am
I am a 24 year old female and am totally
confused as to what is wrong with me. In
2001 I suffered from anxiety after a long
term relationship with someone I loved a
lot ended. I was on paxil for 6 months
and went off it. Ever since then I have
never thought I would need it again. I
felt relatively normal and even joined the
gym and was happy to be single and get out
and have some fun. About 6 months ago I
met a really terrific guy and I love him a
lot. Our relationship is a long distance
relationship for now. Going into the
relationship I was honest and told him I
had anxiety a few years ago. My man also
is currently on paxil because he had and
still gets bouts of anxiety/depression.
During the last couple of weeks we've had
our disagreements and our fights (more so
than before). Because of that i've felt
myself slowly going into a downward
spiral. I keep having dreams that he is
seeing other women when I know deep down
inside that it's just a dream and
absolutely not true. In my last
relationship I had the same kind of
dreams. I wake up and i'm trembling..So
scared that it might be true. I even told
him about one dream I had that he was with
another woman and he said "it's just a
dream. You are the only one for me." but
that is just the tip of the iceberg.
Some mornings I don't even want to wake up
and go to work. Sometimes it takes a lot
for me to get up and go. I notice I have
no patience anymore and some days I feel
like ripping people's heads off. Some
days I want to be totally left alone other
days I crave closeness and companionship.
I look back on my life and I obsess over
the mistakes i've made and how I really
haven't done as much with my life as I had
hoped. I still live with my parents, I
don't have a car, work at a customer
service job when I have my b.A. In
psychology and have a $35,000 debt from
university.
Basically I sit and feel sorry for myself
other days I get really angry at myself
and the people around me. When I look
back I think, "why did I do that?". I
know this isn't right but I can't stop
myself. I am so close to reaching for a
paxil hoping that it will help these
feelings go away again. I am all mixed
up. One moment i'm so happy then the next
moment this feeling of gloom and having no
control comes over me. This time I feel
maybe i'm depressed because i've yet to
experience an anxiety attack again. I
just wish I could fall asleep for a week
and this feeling would be gone. what
should I do? Thank you for allowing me
the time to explain my situation. Any
comments or suggestions are welcome.
|
Rudy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Sep 2003 Posts: 1 Location: iowa
Re: Anxiety, Depression Or Out If My Mind Posted: 09-07-03 22:51pm
Your story sounds alot like mine.
I always compare myself to others, why are
they so successful and im not? Why have
I wasted so much time regarding a career
choice?
Why didnt I go to school to learn that?
Should I become a nurse? Should I become
a webmaster? I know I need to do
something. Ah whats the use, I will
probably fail anyway.
3 years ago, out of nowhere, I had a major
anxiety attack...I was flunking a class
and a freaked out! After a week of that
I reached for the phone book and looked up
'mental health', went to see a Dr.
I was diagnosed with depression and put on
effexor, and I never had another anxiety
attack again! Til last thursday, 4
months ago I was feeling good enough that
I was like, "i dont need these meds
anymore, get off of them and save the
money, so I slowly went off of them, if
you dont go off them slowly you will freak
out! That was in april when I went off
of them, everything was great til 4 months
later....Bang, outta nowhere,
anxiety attack and depression hit me like
a rock,,,and for no reason.
I even started to cry during a football
game! That aint right! So, im going
back to the Dr. Tommorrow and getting
back on effexor.
Effexor worked great for me, I just felt
normal, I didnt have any high type
feeling, I just felt like a normal person.
My dr said I suffered from anxiety and
depression and she said effexor was the
best one in her opinion. Ive never tried
paxil.
I had some extra effexor that I kept when
I cycled off, im starting to cycle back on
it. Depression sucks, its the worse
thing I have ever been through.
|
Kate2468
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Sep 2003 Posts: 3 Location: US
Hello Posted: 09-09-03 09:57am
I'd like to recommend a book my roommate
gave me, "you're erroneous zones" (no, not
"erogenous" though that might make for
entertaining reading ) by wayne w.
Dyer. I've been reading it for the pass
few months and it's helped me identify and
reason-out thoughts and behaviors that
have been more harmful than helpful to my
emotional health.
Also, do you keep a journal? Sometimes I
find writing out what's bothering me helps
me to keep my end-of-the-world problems in
perspective.
In the mean time, take care and keep sane
|
Pootin
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Sep 2003 Posts: 4
Posted: 09-12-03 16:55pm
Thanks for the recommendation of that
book. I will see if I can find it at a
bookstore
anyone have any other advice for books
particularly ones that deal with handling
stress and destructive behaviours? Maybe
even a book that has a comical twist to
it.
|
Treetattoo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2003 Posts: 2 Location: NJ
Depression Posted: 09-12-03 21:07pm
Hi.
I feel bad for you as I know how
deblitating depression can be. You did
not state whether your health care person
indicated to you if he/she thought it was
depression or anxiety. It sounds as
though now you are afraid to go into a
relationship. It's known that individuals
who are depressed are able to bring down
the strongest person over time. It can
tax or destroy relationships. The
constant mood swings and insecurity. My
husband says he never knows what he's
going to walk into when he comes home.
People don't even realize that they
are depressed until thrown into a
streesfull situation. You don't need to
live surrounded by anxiety chained to your
home. The hardest thing to do is get
yourself out and get involved. If you
can't handle people find a nice park where
no one will approach you. There is
nothing wrong with going back to you
health care provider and going through
another treatment. You don't need to
suffer alone.
Should you go
back to the medication find out from your
Dr. What it is you do have. And what is
the long term prognosis. And when your
head and heart are thinking and feeling
clearly take stock of your relationship.
Does he take his meds. On a regular
basis. We are notorius for self
medicating or no medication at all. It is
not an absured a question as one may
think. Think about what set you off.
Just remember you are not alone, you don't
have to suffer alone anymore.
I think I may have a better handle on
how you feel, I was diagnosed
manic-depressive eleven years ago. My
family had a suicide watch on me for the
first month until my medication took
effect. And I regularly jump off the
wagon.
Good luck to you.
|
Pootin
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Sep 2003 Posts: 4
Posted: 09-28-03 09:31am
Yesterday I just started writing for the
first time in my journal. Hopefully this
will help me notice a pattern and sort out
my thoughts. I have also started reading
"in the meantime" by iyanla vanzant. It's
an amazing book and I should be done
reading it today. I realize how I am
living "in the basement" and I am living
"in the meantime". The book is about
finding yourself and the love you want.
It talks about how we all need to do
mental housekeeping to get rid of the past
pains and hurts and past memories and
disappointments. If you have felt
completely lost or just downright
confused, pick this book up. You won't
regret it!
|
Rain
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2003 Posts: 3 Location: Canada
With Ya Posted: 11-15-03 02:36am
Always be patient and loving to yourself
an do not beat yourself up. You are very
young. Therapy is the best because
someone can see your problems from the
outside.
|
phil dennison
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 71 Location: illinois
Posted: 11-17-03 18:09pm
You are exactly like my wife, okay what I
want you to do, is to start talking to
god. Find a church and never miss a
sunday. Do what ever the church ask. You
will see this will take your mind off of
you.
|
peace123
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 1
Hii Everyone Posted: 01-29-08 13:02pm
I was suffering from anxiety and
depression for the last 7-8 yrs. I know
how a person feels when he/she suffer from
anxiety or depression. Sometimes we feel
that people who are handicapped have much
better life than us and thats true.
I recently did AOL course (Art of Living)
in which they teach us various meditation
techniques and yoga and believe me it is
very helpful.
If anyone needs any kind of help from me,
he/she is most welcome.
what
should I do? Thank you for allowing me
the time to explain my situation. Any
comments or suggestions are welcome.
) by wayne w.
Dyer. I've been reading it for the pass
few months and it's helped me identify and
reason-out thoughts and behaviors that
have been more harmful than helpful to my
emotional health.
anyone have any other advice for books
particularly ones that deal with handling
stress and destructive behaviours? Maybe
even a book that has a comical twist to
it.
