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I Have Herpes HSV 2 And I No Longer Feel Sexy (Page 1)

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I recently found out that I have HSV 2 through a blood test. I no longer want to have sex. I am single. I use to masterbate over 4 times a week. I havent done that in over 4 months. I think I am going to give up sex all together. No guy is going to want me every again so what is the point in dating. I also use to enjoy dating and going out and meeting new people. Now I just sit in my room on the weekends and not do anything. I don't see the point in going out if I am going to be rejected by a potential date. Finding out about HSV 2 has really affected my moods. I don't want to be around family or friends, I just want to be by myself. I really don't see what is the point in getting up in the morning. It's become a real struggle. It takes me an hour and half to get up out of bed. I feel my sex and dating life are over. I don't want to kill myself but I also am trying really hard to look at the bright side. If anybody has any ideas on why I should get out of bed every morning please let me know.
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First Helper Hopeless4eva
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replied October 9th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I know exactly how you feel. I got my positive result three years ago and the same exact thing happened to me. I was so depressed and disgusted with myself. I just knew my love life was over. THIS IS SO NOT THE TRUTH. Your life is not over, men will still want you and you are still a good person. Herpes was given to me without my knowledge. I had no idea until I got my blood test. And I was completely devastated. There is no cure for herpes and the chances of you passing it are there. So what do you do?

First you talk to someone, which you are currently doing. Also try a therapist to deal with self esteem issues. I am not saying you have anything wrong with you, but this is what I did and this is what worked for me. Then accept your situation. You have it and it wont go away, but its ok. You can have a great sex life and you can still have kids and this disease wont kill you. It could have been aids. Once you accept it things will get much easier. When you feel ready start to tell your family and very close friends. This support will save you, it is much easier to face this with people who love you than face it alone. When you are ready start to date. This is extremely scary, its almost not worth going through rejection. But it will teach you many things and you will get to know the real men from the dogs. I was rejected. This guy I dated was gorgeuos. There was only physical attraction there but we had fun. Well on out 3rd date I told him I had herpes. He said ok and cut the date short. He would not kiss me goodnight. I never heard from him after that. I was devastated, like how could he want me, what was I thinking. But I kept dating and even have been in 2 relationships. If the man cares enough about you then it will not matter. If he only wants to have sex he will reject you. Just be honest and upfront with your next date. Tell them as soon as ytou can, that way you know what he will do before you fall for him.

I hope this has helped. It took a lot of hard work to get through that time in my life, but you can. Just do things for you that allow you to heal. Please PM me if you want to talk more.
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replied October 9th, 2007
Herpes Problem?you Are Losing Desire to Date Or Have Sex?
I really want to help you.I dont have herpes but I do feel the frustations of having that disease.It is really good that we have this health forum so we could talk it out in the open.I would suggest joining a herpes group where you can meet people with the same problem.If you can afford a psycho therapist,that would help you too.Get busy.REPOSITION YOUR LIFE.Sex is not the answer to happiness.I know these herbal supplements that might help you.If you are interested let me know.This is BALER .I will include you in my prayer.In the meantime get out of that bed.
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replied November 23rd, 2007
Recently Diagnosed
I have been dealing with this now for 1 month and 15 days. I cannot stop thinking about the fact that I have HSV-2. I am no on antidepressents to help me from just completely giving up. I have NEVER had a relationship ever. I caught this virus from a guy I went on a date with. I was not forceful enough and not only am I dealing with sexual assualt charges, but I want to just evaporate from my body. I just do not want to be here anymore. Originally, I thought, I will forget about what happened, but then I got herpes and I can barely function. Some of you think I am completely nuts, and hey! I agree, but this is not getting any better. I hate the fact that I ever put myself in a compromising position. I hate that I have never had a relationship. And I hate that I cry every day. I really do not want to be hear any more. He knew I was a virgin and he didnt care. And now every guy I meet will think that I am a slut, who contracted HSV because I cannot get enough of men, right now I cannot get far from them quick enough. They say this disease gets better, but I feel like all of my dreams are destroyed. Graduating from a well credited university, making 6 figures in 4-5 years, and being married with children (4). Now all I want to do is die. And this is what he tells me.

"its like russian roulet". I hate that I was born
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replied November 25th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I think you should see a therapist or a priest, or someone that can help you. You are dealing with a lot of feelings, especially about the assault. Herpes has just added to the trauma you experienced. Professional help is the best thing.

I wish you the best.
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replied January 19th, 2008
My girlfriend/ now wife has type 2, see takes a daily Valtrex and has the virus under control. I have not contracted type 2 from her and we have been together for 6 years. She is still as sexy and beautiful as the day I met her and no virus will ever change that. There are lots of resources and forums. my girlfriend was upfront in the beginning and she helped educate me on exactly what was going on. She even set up a meeting with her OBGYN and I.
It doesn't affect our daily lives.
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replied January 19th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
DAILY SUPPRESSIVE THERAPY prevents outbreaks and prevents spreading the disease, so you can have a happy and healthy sex life after herpes!
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replied January 29th, 2009
Go seek help now!
I've had Herpes for 9 years now and I'm URGING all of you that have just been disagnosed to go and see a therapist. Seriously, I have only just started to come to terms with having this with the help of hypnotherapy. I have wasted so many years worrying about it. I've been lucky enough to have a few loving long term relationships - but because my self-esteem was so low I ended up stupidly leaving them because I couldn't get over WHY they wanted to go out with me so I dumped them - how stupid is that!? Now I long for a long term relationship and someone who just understands me. So my advice, from someone who knows about these things - GO AND TALK TO SOMEONE. Also, I realised the other day that I have never actually met anyone else with the condition. That doesn't help with getting over the initial diagnosis and moving on with your life as you fee isolated and different to everyone else. So I;ve just joined an online community for people with Herpes and will be meeting up with them soon. I'm so nervous but also excited to know that the person sitting opposite me and next to me are in the same position. You've got to heal yourself. DON'T, like I did, leave it too long. Good luck xx
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replied April 13th, 2009
male perspective
I keep following all these google search results hearing about women with HSV-2. I also had no idea and found out from a blood test. I keep reading about women who are doing fine and living life well enough. I have yet to encounter a post from a positive man. I ended a 6 year relationship and got tested starting a new relationship -- we thought it was a formality. Now we can't have sex. We've both been too distracted to even be able to, even though we both have a fairly intense attraction to each other that -- pre-testing -- was great. Now, not so great. So do I just have to leave this person and find some other infected women to date? Are we in another world now, where we have to make sure we're with other infected people? Even at that, having difficulties with condoms, what real future is there? Buddhist monastery anyone?
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replied March 29th, 2011
We are now in our lil world...a world where no matter what you say ppl will look at us diff. for now on. I feel im alone and choose to be. I can't cope with my situation entirely because i get so upset at myself. Idk how i got it, dont know from who...i just know now i will not be able ever to date someone because i will never be able to accept this illness! I think thats the worse thing ever being a man who does love, and wants to have kids...healthy kids by a healthy woman. Having a family is now erased for me.
hopeless4eva
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replied March 26th, 2012
It's not hopeless to have kids and a family I found out my bf at the time was cheating on me then after shaving 1 day I thought I had an ingrown hair but it hurt way to bad so I went to the Dr and they told me I had hsv-2 my bf was in the car I came out crying and he asked "what you got herpes?" I said yes and he acted like he didn't care now I play that moment in my mind and I realize he knew and did not tell me but b4 I realized that I thought he just didn't care well I ended up pregnant and now have a happy healthy non infected baby boy! So even though we are in our own world we can still have healthy children! I'm 21 and I found out a yr ago that I have hsv-2 I'm young and although I'm not proud I'm not letting this get me down because I have 2 boys to take care of and although some of yall may not have kids yall will one day. Just stay positive and yall can contact me anytime!
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replied February 8th, 2012
You do not need to look for another infected person. I always tell people I am dating when I think its going to the next level. I am in a happy relationship that is fulfilling in every manner. He is negative for HSV-2 and im positive I take valtrex everyday and I am open and honest about OB. Its all about honesty. Were not broken or different, you just need to ask her how you can make her feel more comfortable with the diagnoses. Maybe more information would help her. You live in the same world as before HSV is not you.
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replied April 25th, 2009
herpes
what if you got herpes from an female and you are also having an baby by her how should you feel should i think more about the babys health than my own should i go on with my life or end it as planned will this whole thing make me less of an person also if the other person tells you that you cant get it an you do but they dont think so who should i talk to about the whole thing im really having an hard tme with this please someone help me
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replied May 26th, 2009
im gay with herpes
im a lesbian and i found out that i have hsv2 about a mounth ago. i decided on a drunkin night to have sex with a man and look where it got me... im not a hundred percent sure that he gave it to me but im pretty sure... i drink everyday and my 20th birthday is coming up in 10 days... not even of age.. i hate my life. i drink so much that now it feels as if what i am used to drinking doesnt even affect me anymore. i try to talk to girls but i told one girl and she used me... i dont know if anyone on here can relate to this but its hard enough finding a girlfriend and now i have herpes and not to mention im in the military. i have no life now. just getting as drunk as possible before i pass out and have to go to work in the morning... all ive ever wanted is to find that one and now it seems impossible.
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replied June 1st, 2009
Experienced User
it sounds nuts but 2500mg a day for a month of lecithin (its a natural supplement you can buy from health food shops) may cure herpes!

its already used on new-born babies who's mother had herpes.

one guy who done it hasn't had any effects in 20 years so far.

if it works for you don't just leave. post here and help others know too
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replied March 29th, 2011
have you tried pls let me know?!
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replied June 4th, 2009
we all have felt this way I found out that I had HPV@ in April of 08 I also felt that no one wanted me I was in a 10 year relationship and when that broke off I started dating my friend brother in law and I had no I idea that he had it but he new he did and we was drinking one night I fell asleep and he had unprotected sex with me thats how I got it I was only with him 3 weeks I also felt nasty I went to church prayed and gave my problem to god and he sent me my husband 2 months later I am now married and loving life again my advise to you is just be open about it dont tell everyone but if you feel the need to have sex use protection and if you feel and connection with that person let them know and if its meant to be he wil understand and still will want to be with you I was once told bad things happen to good people all the time just keep faith in the lord and he will see you through this hard time in your life also keep taking your daily med and it want be transferable hope this helps
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replied June 10th, 2009
Just found out...
I just found out today that I have HSV2... I was in shock when the doctor called and told me. After doing some research on the web, I realized that I have had outbreaks (I didn't realize that even though I didn't have sores, it could still be an outbreak). I have no idea what to do from here. Should I contact my previous boyfriends? There are only a few men I've been serious enough with to have unprotected sex with. Also, I just started dating someone about a month ago... when should I tell him? Any input would be appreciated.
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replied June 14th, 2009
Tell the person you are with if they care then it wont matter they will see you thru it...im only 17 and my bf is 18 and when I told him..I cried and told him that if he left I would understand...he looked at me like I was crazy and asked where did I expect him to go.. Even this is young love the point Im tryin to make is if my 18 yr old bf can be mature and loving enough to except this your significant other should also be mature and loving enough.
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replied March 29th, 2011
I'm 24 and instead of what you did i got out my relationship all together. I made our break up fall thru about other problems made up to cover my real issue. I love my ex so much i could not deal with the fact of being with her and not having a normal lifestyle. Instead of hurting her one day and keeping her eyes filled with tears like mine are now i chose to separate myself from her to allow her to meet someone else......sigh! I don't know what to do and for the last 2 to 3 hours i've been reading everyone post and it surprises me many folks are able to smile as if this is one of those damn commercials on tv with ppl smiling with herpes, but as i sit here i have not one thing to smile about.
Hopeless4eva
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replied June 17th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
jeanjeany wrote:
it sounds nuts but 2500mg a day for a month of lecithin (its a natural supplement you can buy from health food shops) may cure herpes!

its already used on new-born babies who's mother had herpes.

one guy who done it hasn't had any effects in 20 years so far.

if it works for you don't just leave. post here and help others know too


there is no cure...this medicine can stop outbreaks most likely...taking suppressive therapy like pills can stop outbreaks and lower your chance of giving it to others...but right now there is no cure.
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replied June 18th, 2009
Supporter
1 out of every 6 people have herpes. i read that statistic years ago and i dont know if it changed. it's so many people who have it and you dont even know. it could be your mailman, next door neighbor, that person in church, or on the bus. my point is life goes on. we have to deal with the cards that is giving to us. your able to live a healthy happy long life, and be in a relationship. there's many people who has, and i know you can also.
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replied June 23rd, 2009
About 3wks ago (Memorial Day weekend), I had sexual intercourse with someone...and I wore a condom. About a week and a half ago a small blister appeared on my penus (right at the base where it meets my stomach). I freaked out and went to the doctor. My doctor said that he thought it may be HSV2 but I have to wait 3mths to take the blood test...so that the HSB2 antibodies will show up in my bloodwork. I am sick to my stomach and don't know what to do. I'm 35yrs old and have been sexually active since 17yrs old...NEVER with any STDs. I've been researching online and there are a couple of sites that say that detox remedies work to "CURE" genital herpes if caught in it's early stages. Does anyone know if this is true? It's 2009 and there must be some type of cure for this...I've only been infected for about a month now...please someone give me some helpful advice. I feel so ashamed and alone as if my life is over now!

Thanks.
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replied June 23rd, 2009
Supporter
you cant really say that! this disease have the ability to lay dormant in your body for years before it surfaces. because of this reason a lot of people dont know who gave it to them.
it sits in your nervous systems and it can surface by stress, eating unhealthy, certain foods trigger it.
this is no cure, but there is medication that will suppress it, lessen the duration of time you have it.
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replied June 23rd, 2009
Supporter
Does anyone with herpes have body pain?? When you are about to have an outbreak do the glands in your groin area swell?
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replied October 27th, 2011
swollen lymph nodes
During my first outbreak I had flu-like symptoms first, I felt really run down, and then the lymph nodes in my groin swelled up. They were so swollen that it hurt to walk. Apparently this is normal. Different people have outbreaks in different ways.
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