i just was on my bf laptop with his permission and I wanted to look thorugh to see what kind of porn he watches. I thought the usual maybe some faux rape or something but nothing could prepare me for what I saw.
Im at the very least to say worried out of my !**@! mind. It was all incest and LITTLE GIRLS. Like 10 year olds and stuff like that. I love him but the problem is that stuff scares me. His younger brother molested his younger sister since she was 6 and now Im kind of freakin out. Someone give me something to idk...just talk to me about this. I tried to talk to him but he wont wake up and I think he is trying to avoid that.
that is extremely scary. if i was in your situation i would definitely talk to him as soon as possible.. i would feel sick & twisted if i stayed with someone who looked at stuff such as that. get yourself out of this relationship asap! he will probably try to make excuses .. but if he doesn't & he tries to apologize & "explain" - don't fall for it. there's absolutely no good reasoning for a grown man to be viewing stuff such as that & i wouldn't stand for it for one minute. i'm sure you love him & care a lot about him.. but seeing something like that would definitely make me question not only him.. but our whole relationship in general. be strong.. & you're in my thoughts.
well i confronted him this morning, probably not the best way. first he said that he didnt have any porn on his computer. I told him yes he does and I can show him. Then he came clean and said that he likes the "barely legal" stuff. I was like thats ok bc most of those girls are like 20 ish, but the girls I saw were (more than likely of age) but they looked like 12 and stuff. he said he didnt have anything like that? HELP
sounds like he needs therapy, his sexual focus was altered into a harmful abnormal state by his early experience. I would expect there is more abuse in his history he isnt talking about. First he needs to delete this stuff and start refocusing his sexuality on normal healthy adult women, and he needs deep psychotherapy.
There's a problem here that he needs therapy to help. Given his history of molestation in his family, it seems like he still has some issues that need to be worked out.
You don't necessarily have to leave him, but I would require (if he were my bf) that he go to therapy and get these issues addressed. You don't want to have to deal with this later, like, when you have children.
i agree that it kind of souns like he could be having problems with old memories that are causing him to like things that normally one shouldnt. however before you go and leave him you need to ask yourself will that help solve anything. if things start looking like violence or other bad things could start happening you do have to think about yourself however if you do actually love your boyfriend you should help him get past this so that he can be mentally healthy again.
First off, let me state that I don't condone such material, nor do I watch it. I don't watch porn at all, in fact, that's what my wife is for! But regardless, I do know about tricks the industry plays. For example, most of the 'barely legal', 'incest' and 'kiddie porn' stuff out there are actually actresses picked specifically because they LOOK the part, they aren't really. Of course, this doesn't address the issue that he enjoys the fact that they look it, if he's aware. You need to confront where he accessed the material and search through his computer logs. If it came from some site where you pay, then it's quite likely NOT what you think it is, just another disturbing site claiming to be disturbing. However, if he's getting this stuff on Kazaa or through obscure sharing sites, then you have a problem that needs addressed, I just wanted to make it known that a lot of this stuff is just a gimmick. Still sick, because the individual who buys it is doing so thinking or knowing that it will LOOK real, but not illegal if it's not real.
Right- the barely legal stuff is probably young women who do look young and is really quite popular.
BUT- there is child pornography on the web. You can find it if you want. It is illegal to store on your computer in America, but it is not illegal to post anything to the web- the internet is completely free of regulation because it is international. So you can get arrested in America for making, viewing, or downloading child porn, but it is completely legal in some countries and thus it gets on the internet.
Plus there are people making it illegally in America too, but that's different.
Yeah, thus why she needs to check the logs. Let me know if you need instructions on how to check all the secrets on there, some people think they know how to delete items and history but don't know where it hides. You can then find where he downloaded stuff and where it came from. Foreign sites with tags like ru instead of com could mean he's very, very bad.
If you know that he is lying about it just being barely legal, and you know those girls were not old enough for the content pry through his lies and make him admit it. Be sensitive though, if this is a revisiting of past traumatic experiences you would'nt want to upset him and make him feel completely rejected by you. Let him know that if he is feeling something deep, something unwanted, that you are willing to go through the steps to eliminate it, be it therapy or whatever. If he continues to give you lies and it just seems like he gets off to 10 year olds, I would seriously leave him.
Everything written above is true in the fact that:
1.it is wrong
2.there is a history of this behavior in his family and his associations to sex are slightly screwed up
3.IT NEEDS TO BE HANDLED IN A delicate and quite matter.
The reason I say delicate is you both seem young and still maturing mentally as far as sex and self actualization is concerned. You also have a relationship that you seem to be invested in emotionally and mentally, given you having problems with your "find". So to save him from being put on a predators list I would talk to him about seeking treatment for this, so long as it does not hurt (legally label him a predator) him in the future.
you have to realize that even though this is sick and wrong its the human mind. We all think things that we some times feel ashamed of and this is just part of the human condition. The difference between being and thinking is accepting the idea as OK. In essence, you are not your thoughts, just your accepted ideas.
For him, his thoughts have manifested into visuals. The snakes head must be cut off here to keep it form turning into ACTIONS. This does not mean RASH action on your part should be taken. you should really establish a line of communication and questioning to determine the severity of this situation. Maybe they are just really young looking girls. regardless, this is a problem and evidence of it not being one needs to be found.
Don't listen to these people who are saying "leave him". If you are as invested as you sound into this relationship it is an obligation to help him.