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Mental Health > Bipolar Disorder Forum > Am I bipolar or not? What's causing strange emotional state?
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Q: Am I bipolar or not? What's causing strange emotional state?
asked by: Monket on October 7th, 2007
New User
Do I have bipolar?

I've been confused for years, having been through a tough childhood.

I have attempted suicide once, with the most recent being late last year, resulting in cardiac arrest and a week in hospital.

I feel paranoid, argumentative. I have moods that change from severely depressed, not wanting to shower/get out of bed/etc, to euphoric, very happy and helpful.

Depression is rife in both sides of my family, with my father and mother both suffering, plus many aunties, my grandmother, and several cousins.

I have not been diagnosed with anything, as I tend to put my pride and cynical nature first, passing every attempt to get me a psychiatrist off.

Also, last year I was involved in a very serious car accident, resulting in Post Concussion Syndrome. This has affected my speech, mood, etc.

I have felt like I do for long before the accident, however, and often feel I can relate to Bipolar sufferers.

I have also had a long history of theft, starting from when I was very young, even when I had plenty of money :S.

I have also had extreme outbursts of anger, doing things like smashing my mum up against the doorway, smashing a chair on a mans chest, etc.
I feel out of control when my anger takes over, like I've been taken over, however cliche that sounds Razz.

I apologise for the stilted format to this topic, I just don't know where to start Confused

I would appreciate feedback on whether I'm Bipolar or not, also if you feel I'm not, what you put my feelings down to.

I understand many of you are not doctors or psychologists/psychiatrists. But I do know that many of you are affected by Bipolar, or have family members who are. Please help.
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Monket
replied on October 7th, 2007
New User
I also have a fear of meeting new people. I would rather stay at home and watch a movie with my partner than go out to a party or meet anyone new.
I feel when I do meet new people face to face I am unsociable, and keep to myself rather than open up and talk.

I do not know if this is related, but I have no problem with meeting adults. I feel I can converse more easily with adults rather than my peers and see my peers behaviours as stupid and immature.

I have just recently turned 17.
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Monket
replied on October 7th, 2007
New User
It would be nice if someone commented...
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abnrmlmind
replied on October 7th, 2007
Experienced User
i kept a diary, i will show you if you want to see it. it goes back to when i was first diagnosed. i didnt get diagnosed till i started taking lexapro prescribed by my family doctor when i was 17. shortly there after i hit rock bottom and flipped my lid. ive been in rehab 2 times and gotten into enough trouble. dont take this the wrong way but from what youve said it could be possible you lack discipline, respect, and self control. from the comment you posted earlier to phillies and the comment here now it seems your impatient and all knowing. it popped in my mind that you werent bp and perhaps young. you should really see a councelor and doctor if you think you have issues that need to be worked out. sometimes pride isnt pride, its ignorance.
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Mommy35
replied on October 7th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
We are not doctors and I'm sure most of us are not qualified to diagnose you with a mental illness. You should go talk to your family doctor and discuss your symptoms with him/her. If they feel it's appropriate they will prescribe you medications or refer you to a psychiatrist.

From what you explain it sounds more like you have an issue with anger more than Bi Polar disorder. You should probably learn to control your temper a bit. Just an opinion, but I would be more likely to lean towards ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) than Bi Polar disorder.

Do you use illegal drugs?
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Monket
replied on October 8th, 2007
New User
Do you use illegal drugs?

-----

*laughs*
Oh dear.
No, far from it.
I won't touch drugs or even alcohol most of the time. I despise drugs.
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Monket
replied on October 8th, 2007
New User
in reply to abnrmlmind:

I also saw your reply to phillies and was severely disappointed.
He should look out for himself, but be careful in not upsetting his partner. After all, shes not in a great space.


I respect your opinions, I really do.
Its just, you are both assuming I am immature, a drug taker and have anger issues.
What I probably should have mentioned is that I don't party, I don't drink, I don't take drugs.

A lot of my friends think I'm boring, as I'd rather stay at home than go out.

I've never thought I was extremely bipolar, at all.
Just many things on this forum have related directly to things I have felt/do feel.
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Mommy35
replied on October 8th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Monket wrote:

I respect your opinions, I really do.
Its just, you are both assuming I am immature, a drug taker and have anger issues.


I never assumed you are a drug taker. I was simply asking a question. You said:
"I have also had extreme outbursts of anger, doing things like smashing my mum up against the doorway, smashing a chair on a mans chest, etc.
I feel out of control when my anger takes over, like I've been taken over, however cliche that sounds".

That is why we come to think you have anger issues. Wink
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abnrmlmind
replied on October 8th, 2007
Experienced User
Nooo i dont think your immature or that you take drugs. i was 17 at one point too. drug use is common with bpd as self medication. just because you dont want to go out doesnt mean anything either, you can have just as much fun at home than anywhere else. i was making a observation and explaining what i thought.
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mrsbuzski
replied on October 11th, 2007
Experienced User
Psychology
I think you all are fine!

Like the old song goes, "Don't, Worry!, Be, Happy".

Seriously, arn't we all out of our minds at one time or another?

I have a problem with expressing my feelings too. I sometimes tend to resort to loud, obscense, angry outbursts.

But, for crying out loud, sometimes that's what it takes for us to reach that state of equilibrium!

Then.....we beat ourselves up for it!
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mrsbuzski
replied on October 16th, 2007
Experienced User
I Take That Back
Well Monket, I apologise for not reading your post with a straight mind. After rereading your question I think it might be of benefit for you to seek some type of counseling. Anger is bad, no matter which way we look at it; but the, "feeling paranoid and suicide part", although may not signify bipolar but, defiantley warrants talking to some type of professional that could help you sort things out. Take care!
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daffodil67
replied on November 3rd, 2007
Experienced User
We are not ALL fine...Nor should we look to an e forum for psychiatric diagnoses.

It sounds to me that you do have some significant problems. I have seen several references on this board to problems with anger...I'm not too sure what this is about. But as mrsbuzski said, anger can be a real problem. And if you have had had the bad anger problems since being a kid, it COULD be ODD as someone else mentioned...(which I really only mention because there ARE problems people have where anger is a symptom.)

So, see a doctor if you can if this is a real problem for you (normally defined as getting in the way of normal functioning.) You also might check the NIMH web site and NAMI. They are two of the main American resources for info on mental health (I have NO idea what is available in NZ!!!)

Good luck
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