Hey Food! Glad to see you back.

I only have one small suggestion.....you gotta start small. It sounds like you could use some wins on your side. One needs little successes here and there to build up their confidence.. Is there anywhere you can volunteer? Maybe you can offer support to others feeling like you are right on these very forums. Let them know they arent alone, let them know you can empathize. Share in similar experiences. You dont have to have all the answers to help someone. By helping others and knowing you are a good person, you will start to feel more confident about yourself. Once you start feeling that way, all these issues of you being good enough will go away. Start small brother.

Even if you help an old lady cross the road, you did something kind and with good intentions, that makes you a winner in my book.

Hey I gotta win for you! You are concerned. You actually care about being good enough for your future partner. Did you know that there are some people out there who dont think like that at all?!? Dont care if they are good enough and just want to use another for their own personal gratification?!?!? You dont want someone to use and abuse, you want someone that is taken care of and can rely on you. I think you are going to make you future girlfriend/boyfriend very happy, they are truly lucky.

Well...thanks, i was thinking somewhere along those lines myself....lately ive been thinking that if i really want to make the person i want to be with happy...i'm going to have to be happy myself....so i've been taking time lately to find ways of bettering myself(Image,Confidence,etc.) but i still dont feel any confidence...but even if i want to help people that feel the way i do i'd have to go to a Depressed Teens meeting in our local Kaiser Place, but my friend's mother works there so he ends up going to the hospital sometimes himself, and i dont want him to see me there...

It takes time! Take it step at a time. Baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day. You don't have to do this, but I do this every time I feel down... When I go to the shops, I look for a person that looks sad and I pay that person a compliment. I saw a pregnant lady who looked tired, that she had a very pretty drees on and asked her where she got it. You should have seen her eyes light up. That just gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I've been doing it for quite a time and I find that it works for me.

The other day I was going on a hike. Some lady was almost attacked by another persons dog and they were obviously shaken from the heated exchange between her and the dog owner.

All I did was say hello, listen to her story, told her I was glad that at least she was okay....and the women was visibly better just for having someone listen and show sympathy.

Start small bud Be Creative.

Arghhhh...Everything just doesnt make sense to me anymore....i dont even know how i feel anymore...i saw her with her (ex?)Boyfriend and well...i wasn't sad...personally i dont know how i feel about it...when i knew how i felt, i would feel quite calm when i was around her....but now when im near her it makes me so sad....Ive been late at least 17 minutes into classes i have with her AND ive skipped 2 days, just so i dont see her...but i always have the irresistibility to see her....I need help, but i dont want to get it...i also NEED to know how i feel...i'm beginning to lose interest and motivation in anything...nothing just seems to matter anymore....

It's a part of life's experiences. You're still young. If you don't feel jelousy, then it must be trust. Speak to her if you want to try make it work. Otherwise expect a couple of heart breaks. I went through a lot of boyfriends through my school years before I met "the one". I even broke a relationship off 2 months before the wedding (mutual agreement) because we weren't ready. Call it "gaining experience in looking for the ONE true person who you can trust, communicate properly with, love and be your companion. It sux to have to go through all the awfull breakups and feelings with it, but it's part of life's lessons. Time will heal your heart. Have a little faith in yourself.

Well "making it work" means something has already happened...in my case, nothing is happening...which makes me angry...things would be easier if for some unknown reason i wound up alone with her...to make things worse, i Fxxked up one "repairing myself"...i cut myself. I've been trying to cover it up with band aids and such, but everyone accuses me of doing what i did. and ive been giving a false story of "how i burnt myself" and to amke it even worse...i dont want that feeling...so i am actually trying to burn myself over those cut marks....i know its dumb...but it has to be done....

Some people do harmn to themselves for certain reasons.
1. They are looking for attention
2. Some depressed people sometimes feel "dead" inside that they cut themselves to "feel" something. This way they try to make sure that they exist, that they are still human somehow.

Either way, these are not the solutions. I think you should seek some professional help, to teach you some techniques on how to cope with certain confusing feelings. The main thing is that you need to take it one step at a time, Rome wasn't built in a day. Be patient.

As for your girlfirend, communication is the key. Talk. Always talk. No rel;ationship can work without communication.