Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 26 Location: Delray Beach, FL US
Give Support Or Choose Tough Love Posted: 10-06-07 03:00am
Should we give support and encourage an
Alcoholic or a Drug addict to go the rehab
or in recovery.
OR
Cut all support and let them hit a good
bottom, so they actually make the decision
and take the action by themselves.
2 very different approaches, the first on
is about practicing unconditional love but
also there is a risk of enabling people to
stay in a comfortable zone
The 2nd one is more about practicing
loving detachment (Tough love) by
separating oneself from the addict or
Alcoholic, let them make the mistakes they
need to do and let them assume the often
painful consequences that comes with it.
The risk with this approach is that they
could resent you for life.
The final objective in both cases been to
make it easier for them to want to make
some positive changes in their life (going
to rehab, recovery etc...).
Voice your opinion
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emptynest
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Oct 2007 Posts: 21 Location: Northern California, United States
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Tough Love Posted: 10-06-07 17:17pm
We tried support and encouragement. Our
son's behavior didn't change and he was
ungrateful for what we had done for him.
We are now practicing tough love. Our son
would argue that we don't love him.
That's him trying to manipulate us.
Slowly we are learning! We are hopeful
that tough love will inspire our son to
change his ways. If it doesn't, at least
we aren't involved in his crazy lifestyle.
This would increase our chances of
finding some serenity. We deserve
serenity.
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WShep
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 67 Location: SoCal, USA
Posted: 10-07-07 22:51pm
My parents went with support and not
letting a day go by without telling me
what I was doing to them and the
family...can we call this support/guilt
fest?
Everyone is different. I hit a bottom and
made my own decision to stop and nothing
else would have worked for me. I was a
stoner/pharmaceutical addict. Not near as
hard as what many hear are going through.
Sheesh ....i cant even vote on this
one....too hard. Im sure the converse has
worked just as well for others.
