A few weeks ago I broke a bowl, and I was afraid I'd gotten fragments of it on my hands, and subsequently, my food. However, I eventually got over it since I realized that I'd washed my hands before eating.
Just yesterday, though, in a fit of anger over my dad's refusal to leave me alone, I threw a jar against the refrigerator. A little while after that, I was slicing an avocado, and it fell out of my hands onto the carpet under the table. I washed it because I didn't want to eat a dirty avocado, but neglected to slice the outer layer off to be sure no fragments got stuck. I know that there's pretty much a 99% chance that none of the glass got under the table, since I threw it pretty high, and part of the wall partitioning my kitchen and dining area blocked it. The problem is is that there's like a window kind of thing so you can see into the dining area. I've spent a considerable chunk of my day just being paranoid about this. I don't know how irrational this is to think this way for this long. I think it's getting in the way of living my life. The fact that I still think about, "why didn't I slice off the surface of the avocado just to be sure" makes me anxious. The fact that I'm writing about this says something.
Growing up, I think my dad put fear into me about my health. If I'd drop something on a table at a restaurant, he'd tell me not to eat it. He'd constantly remind me to wash my hair until middle school, to blow dry my hair after taking a shower or else I'd get a cold. I think I was OCD for a brief phase in my childhood. I'd keep repeating phrases that would go on in my head because I'd have to think about it or say it in a certain way. There was a ritual to how I washed my hands. I took really long showers.
I think I was slightly OCD going through high school. There were moments when I'd have these "favorite numbers" and "favorite letters," and whenever I'd read I'd have to analyze the words for them. While I've gotten over the above habits, I don't know if this is just a less powerful recurrence of my previous OCD, or maybe just a different form.
I just want to know if this is normal or if I have a problem and should seek medical help.
