ok well this is quite a strange post, i
had my girlfriend over tonight and ive
been feeling a little all over the place
today, at points i got extremly tired and
sleepy as thought id been awake for days.
strange hallucinations have jumped out at
me and moved and switched around some in
the company of some distressed voices. ok
the point is anyway i had my girl friend
here and while we were having sex, i
became extremely delusional about half way
thru and at one point almost had to stop
because voices had starting shouting at me
that i was raping her and that i was going
to jail. complete confusion then took over
for a second when i was brought back by
the voice of my lovely girl friend askin
me if i was alright and i suddenly felt
good again, like someone shot drugs
straight into my vein. as time went by my
voices seemed to be enjoying it as much as
my girlfriend was and slowly began to fade
away the more wrapped up in my girl friend
i was. i became one with her and for a
moment at the end seemed in complete
extacy and infinite love. i dont mean to
post stuff like this on a public forum,
but maybe this is a clue to how to help
yourself with voices and such. ive had all
kinds of drugs when i was younger and this
was truly a psychedelic experience deep
inside my mind and was really amazing.
maybe what schizoprenics need is Love,
real feelings of love, because a illness
like this can make you feel so alone at
times. for me i found this in a sexual
experience with my girl and i can only
hope with all the hate and bad these
voices and feelings can bring that someone
out there has or will get to experience
something similar to what i got to.
the mind can be a beautiful thing in the
darkest of times and an ugly thing in the
best of times. but its your journey no
matter what you do, so let it take you
where it wants to go. its helping me alot
hope this post isnt misunderstood, i mean
only well
all the best
Rdm.
