Hello - I believe that my husband is suffering from this but I don't know how to get him to listen to me since he honestly believes all the "stuff" that he thinks is happening. He thinks the house is bugged, that someone attempted to poison him...and it goes on. How do you get someone like this to get help when they really believe? I'm getting ready to pay thousands of dollars to get my house "swept" for any bugs just to prove to him that we are not being listened to. Can someone please tell me where I can go for more information or any tips on getting him to listen to me? Thank you.
I dont know what to tell you other then that your husband is making delusions in his own mind so paying thousands of dollars wont change much i dont think and it might create more conspiricys for him to think about concerning you. i suffer from alot of the same problems thinking my clothes and house are bugged, thinking soda companys try to poison me with there drinks and that someone might be slipping poisons in my food, its caused my mother absolute hell because i cannot eat some of her food sometimes under the belief she may be trying to kill me or something. im sorry to say but this is the way his mind is at the moment and your money would be better invested in seeking some professional help and to start on meds or do some natural healing with meditation or something similar. the best thing to do would be to stop trying to get him to listen and get him the obvious help he needs because if his symptoms stay untreated he may get worse and worse to the point where he cant be saved. hope this informations helps if you have anymore questions ill answer as best i can.
Thank you so much for your comments I really appreciate them. I just don't know how to get him the help he needs if he doesn't acknowledge that these things are not happening. I wish you all the best. JMB
The best I could do is advise you to check out your options - you could even begin to do this online, by perusing through the websites for organizations like the National Association for Mental Illness (NAMI). Also, I'd strongly recommend you proceed with caution seeing as your husband may consider your actions to be "proof" that someone is out to get him.
Were I in your position, I'd suggest that the two of you enter into some "marriage counselling" - this would take some of the heat off of him and implicate problems on your end as well, though of course this would only be a means to an end - By doing this you get his foot in the door at least; you have a qualified psychologist or counsellor available to witness first hand your husbands beliefs and concerns. If anyone is qualified to make a referral to see an actual psychiatrist, then the psychologist would be a prime candidate once they've gotten to know your husband.
If your husband ever actually frightens you or makes you feel personally unsafe, or if you genuinely believe he may harm himself---- call 911 immediately. An angry husband is better than a incarcerated/dead one.
It's a shame that this is a condition which is so sensitive in nature and so fragile in the sense that it's exacerbated by stress and feelings of alienation. I do wish you all the best.
Since he is having paranoid delusional thoughts, in his mind he honestly beleives that these things are real. Getting the house swept will do nothing to alleviate his fears. It also won't do much good for you to deny and negate his feelings which is usually someones first reaction (i.e. saying things like "Now you know that's not true, no one would ever bug our house"). It may seem weird, but try really listening to what he is saying and then validate his feelings by saying something to the effect of "I know these things feel real to you and that you are telling the truth but no one is bugging our house and you are safe". It will seem weird at first, but if this is the first time someone has beleived that he is having these delusions, he may really open up and it may releive some of his anxiety. I like the idea of marriage counseling, this sounds like a good route to take.
Thanks! These are helpful comments. I am really struggling, and it is killing our marriage. I don't know how to diagnose, and I probably should not have suggest she get evaluated. I was thinking potentially melatonin/vitamin D or dopamine imbalances,
which I have read could cause paranoia/delusional thoughts.
I had not really thought about my wife as delusional/paranoid until recently. Reasoning has _NOT_ helped.. sigh.. it blows up in my face.. Even hard evidence does not matter.
I have never had to deal with where we could either settle with hard evidence or agree to disagree.
My wife deals well with people and very social personality style. But if you don't agree, she will do ANYTHING, put downs, name calling, even lying.., and twisting the truth to make you look bad. I came from a verbal/physical abusive background. We are in counselling where he does 'Temperament Therapy', but the temperment is not what I see when dealing with her family, me, our kids or people that confront her or don't do what she wants. And now she is litigating with former employers, and is convinced they break into our house (I work from home), tap our phone and that even her lawyer is taking money from the employer to undermine her.
The advice sounds odd, but I will try. I find it hard when she lies to me about me. She has also had a hard time keeping her stories straight with others. Any other advice/experience would be appreciated and how to get us evaluated.
@ above poster: She may not be lying when she can't keep her stories straight.
My dad was dx'ed with delusional disorder (persecutions) earlier this year, and he's the most genuine and forthright person I know.
His persecution subplot stories ebb and flow and he sometimes 180s his perspective on a subtopic.
Like any sickness, there are good days and bad days, good months and bad months. So sometimes when he's healthier/less stressed, his ability to more accurately perceive reality and think critically means he'll be flabbergasted that we'd believe he'd believe xyz. Yet he explicitly told us he believed xyz when he was most delusional and struggling to see reality. The grand narrative, however, is pretty constant, and just isn't getting discussed (his choice) as he tries to piece together a life that he doesn't understand why it's broken.
I have a family member with this disorder, and with her, at least, spending money to prove her wrong only wastes money. If we spent money sweeping for bugs and it came up negative, she'd claim the workers are in on it, too. She's gotten to the point where she's filed for divorce and filed police reports and protective orders against her husband thinking he's trying to kill her. Very sad situation for all involved. We should have taken action before it got this bad. Anything you can do to get your husband into therapy/on medication you should do, although it might be hard. But the earlier the better. My other suggestion is to always be willing to listen to their conspiracy theories. You don't have to say "you're right" or "I believe you", in fact you probably shouldn't, but don't say "you're mentally ill" or "you're imagining things" or you will eventually be part of the conspiracy as well. At least this was our case. Be available and listen and be caring, and do all you can to get them help, even if it's in the name of "marital" counseling. Best of luck to you and I hope you can get some help.
I have been living with this problem since I was 17 I am now 45.
When I had my first outbreak I did not beleive anyone who told me, things were not true. But after a few years I started to learn how to deal with this problem.
I thought my friends mother was out to kill me and I was sure of it. There are little things I see that put 2 + 2 together for my delusions. I realize I even make up things so everything makes sense in my head.
What I try to do is pick out the things that dont fit. That makes me calm down. For example someone rang my door bell and I was in the height of an episode. He said he was a salesman. So I thought to myself If he really is a sales man he will be going to other doors too. So I followed him to make sure he was going door to door. Once I saw that I calmed down a bit.
It seems the older I get the more frequent I get these episodes. Sometimes it goes for a year sometimes a month without fear. When I do get them they seem to last for at least 2 months. I think that is because nothing I think is happening so I give up on the theory. But they never entirely go away.
I started to take the drug fluanxol it is an injection that I get every 2 weeks. I have not taken the drug for about 4 months not and I am again in the hight of an episode. I did not want to take the drug because it makes me feel like jumping out of my skin. They give me side effect medication but It makes me into a zombie(Cant think straght). I will have to endure the side effects because I realize I must take this drug.
I am also an alcoholic I dring at least 8 beer a day. This is to stop the feelings and thoughts I have. I still have the thoughts when drinking but I am much calmer and I start not to care what will happen.
Well thats my situation. If any one has any questions post them here I will come back to see.