general anxiety disorder.
does anyone here have this specific anxiety disorder?
I dont' get panic attacks.
I dont' get tightness in my chest or dizzyness or tingles but I do suffere with anxiety where I'm constantly worrying about EVERYTHING under the sun.
I can't seem to shut the mind up and it constantly wants to chew on something.
I find that by having this miserable disorder, I am more sensitive to stimuli around me.
that can include noises, the pitches and sounds of peoples voices, when they speak too loud and too fast, when there's too much going on around me like, crowds of people, or certain jobs that I seem to always be getting myself involved with.
this is my largest obstacle to over come and I wish with all my heart that I can find a job that suits my nature.
I want to with all my heart be able to do what others consider normal.
but after being in a job say like for four months, I find myself getting that depressed, anxious, miserable feeling again.
If one bad thing occurs duing the course of my days there, say like a melt down because the phones are ringing non stop, you have to greet people at the same time, or someone else is tugging at you in all direction, I for a second lose it! I have what they call melt downs.
I actually threw the phone down, raised my voice loud, cried in one of my coworkers office and with my boss too, she told me to go outside to calm down which I did and then every thing was fine.
it's a very stressfull enviorment they told me after I found this out for myself. they did not mention this in the interview.
I then begin to feel I'm a failure becaues for years now I'm tyring to overcome this thing within myslef.
I have improved tremendously with anti axiety/depressant meds.
I've tried many things but found out that prozac worked great for me and then I didn't feel the good effects of it anymore and t hen had to go onto zoloft, which I am on currently and have been for about one year but find myself starting to feel the anxiety creeping up on me again.
I dred work.
I love the coworkers and people but ever since I had that meltdown, I feel like it was a bad dream and the feelings I get in the pit of my stomach just thinking of having to go to work, makes me feel depressed and miserable inside.
I can't seem to find my place in life. I leave practically all my jobs and all the wrong way. by walking off in a storm. this is not good behavoir and I'm trying to change that part of myself.
so I am thinking very hard on leaving this job but to go to what?
I don't know what to do?
I"m only carrying my problem with me and I can't seem to solve the problem.
if anyone has been thru this or is going thru similar things, please talk to me. I need to know I'm not the only one that's having this problem and not the only one that feels I"m losing my perspective on life.
L