TTC - but am I in premature menopause ? hot flashes etc.

All I can say is...calm down.
I'm 42 and was wondering the same thing.
Was having whacky periods and hot flashes too. Lots of aching too. Very tired.
Finally booked an appointment with my naturalpath.
She's given me something to cleanse my liver and build my immune system. She thinks I have estrogen dominance - too much estrogen in my system. If your liver is not working properly - and not flushing the estrogen - it can build up - causing a whole hose of symptoms. You can get too much estrogen from many sources - chemicals (cleaners, household chemicals), skin products, bottled water (plastic bottles that may have been heated), sunscreen, etc.
I'm on a restricted diet for about a month as well.
Great news. My period seems to be returning to normal and I haven't had a hot flash in a month!
Although I eat healthy I do drink a lot of bottled water, use sunscreen, and clean clean clean.
I'll be much more careful in the future.
Good luck!