If you aren't already, I'd really suggest a good chiropractor. I wish there was more I could help you with. Use lots of moist heat directly on the jaw joints and where any of your muscles actually are hurting. Maybe you could find a pain clinic that does trigger point injections.
You do need good sleep to heal your body. I don't really do anything special. When I'm in pain, I might take a pain pill or Zanaflex (a muscle relaxant) and lie down with my heating pad (which isn't moist heat, but it's on a timer and often I would fall asleep this way). Make sure you are using a good pillow. Sleeping on the back is the best but I'm a side sleeper and use a Splintek side-sleeper pillow (similar to memory but with cut-outs).
It really sounds like you need outside intervention with those muscle spasms. I hope and pray that you will find the help you need.
God bless...
Carol