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My Boyfriend Goes Clubbing All the Time...

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teagz

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2007
Posts: 27
Location: Hawthorn, VICTORIA, 3122 Australia
My Boyfriend Goes Clubbing All the Time...
Posted: 09-27-07 02:52am

hi, when i was 14 i met this guy who was 19 at the time, we got to know eachother and eventually ended up dating, iam now 16 and have moved out of home and 3 hours away from my friends and family to be with him. since we moved away he has been going out clubbing every weekend, his attitude has totally changed like he doesnt care anymore. if i ask him to stay home and not go out one night he turns around yelling at me saying from now on he is doing what he wants, it hurts me so much when he is like this and i usually sit at home by myself untill 6am when he finishes clubbing. he used to say he loves me everyday and now he hardly says it, he never compliments me or says he cares, and he used to tell me we would be together forever but now he says he lives day by day. he always turns things around to make them my fault so when i mention something his done wrong he tried to make it my fault. Im worried we are falling apart i dont want to lose him but i cant stand bein treated like this, please help....
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Whaturmuva

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 104
Location: http://www.gamerout.com/, http://www.gamerout.com/ http://www.gamerout.com/

Posted: 09-27-07 08:21am

First off I am very sorry you are in pain...

In this situation I believe you need to sit him down and have a long talk about your relationship. I completely understand that you do not want to lose the one you love, but you can't live your life in pain. You need to concern yourself with your own happiness, and if your partner doesn't make you happy maybe they aren't the one
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Marianne0558

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Posted: 09-27-07 08:28am

I don't think he is going to change. I would break it off and move back home. What's a 19 year old doing with a 14 year old anyway?!?!

I know you're 16 now but that would make him 21. I hope he isn't cheating on you.

Get a fake ID and follow him one night Laughing
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Whaturmuva

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 104
Location: http://www.gamerout.com/, http://www.gamerout.com/ http://www.gamerout.com/

Posted: 09-27-07 08:31am

Marianne0558 wrote:

Get a fake ID and follow him one night Laughing


haha illegal but a good idea. Find out what he does when he is out...or get an older friend to go and keep an eye on him
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Marianne0558

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Posted: 09-27-07 08:32am

Whaturmuva wrote:
Marianne0558 wrote:

Get a fake ID and follow him one night Laughing


haha illegal but a good idea. Find out what he does when he is out...or get an older friend to go and keep an eye on him


Haha, I was joking about the ID. Getting a friend to go is actually a great idea!! There's cameras on phones and all so pictures are a good idea. Make sure it's someone he doesn't know.
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teagz

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2007
Posts: 27
Location: Hawthorn, VICTORIA, 3122 Australia

Posted: 09-27-07 18:56pm

Thanx so much for your help guys, great advice i might try it Very
Happy
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young Girl

Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA

Posted: 09-27-07 18:59pm

go home before he screws you over and you have no way of getting home


seriously hun please listen to me
i am 16 and live with my bf almost an hour away from my mom and if travis ever did anything like that to me i would cut off his balls and pack my stuff and leave


he isnt going to change if he hasnt listened already
he knows he has you at home and he thinks your helpless
dont become another helpless girl suckered by one of those jerks


leave
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teagz

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2007
Posts: 27
Location: Hawthorn, VICTORIA, 3122 Australia

Posted: 09-30-07 20:24pm

I have tried so many times to leave, its just so hard and he knows i dont have the strength thats y every time he messes up i just forgive him coz he sucks up, i never get compliments from him so wen he screws up he comes home and says heaps of nice stuff and i always fall for it. when i feel like i finaly have the strength to leave he says something nice and makes me want to stay. ive felt like just leavin while his at uni one day but he was so nice before he left that i couldnt do it. sometimes i wish i would find out his cheatin so it would give me a reason to leave and not look back
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young Girl

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Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA

Posted: 09-30-07 21:34pm

you already have a reason to leave
and you already know you want to hes just suckering you back in

trust me
run for the hills fast hun!!!!!!
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Maji

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2007
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Posted: 10-03-07 20:40pm

16yr old and a 21yr old living together....is that even legal?
for that reason and the reasons you've given, i'd say go home.
no one deserves to be treated badly or be made a victim of...anything!
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Makoto

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Posts: 263
Location: Japan

Posted: 10-04-07 16:56pm

I vote for you to go home as well. You are in over your head. Lastly, him going clubbing at his age is perfectcally ok. Even if you are at home. There is nothing wrong with it at all. However, he should also be making time for you.

Is he cheating or trying to cheat. More than likely, but clubbing is not the problem. If he can find another way to cheat he might do it.

Basically this is just a small problem. You should look at the major problem, and pack your things and go home. You are making a big mistake. That is assuming you have nothing at home preventing you from returning.
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young Girl

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Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA

Posted: 10-04-07 19:47pm

Maji wrote:
16yr old and a 21yr old living together....is that even legal?
for that reason and the reasons you've given, i'd say go home.
no one deserves to be treated badly or be made a victim of...anything!


no its not leagle but if her parents wanted to press charges then they would have to press charges against her too
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Mikolas

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Posted: 10-10-07 21:29pm

Just to warn you. All the high school girl, college guy (with at least 2 year difference) relationships I knew that I can think about at the top of my head, has failed. Why? The girl is in high school, basically meaning she is limited to the stimuli and the people of that small territory of her school, home, hang out spots. The guy, in college, potential chance to meet thousands more girls then he could have then during high school, meets a couple, girl friend isn't around and doesn't have much power, things happen. I'm not saying this would happen to you, or this is always the case, but this happens because it makes sense. You will understand this too one day assuming you will go to college. Many couples break up once one or both of them make the transition from high school to college. Why? New life style, tons new people. For instance, a girl might think she loves her current boyfriend (while they are in high school), and he has good qualities like attractive, funny, sweet. Once she goes to college, she is going to see guys who are funnier, sweeter, cooler, hotter all over the place. Same thing occurs for guys. If he isn't giving you the attention you deserve as you described it, especially because you have sacrificed much as a 16 year old for this, he is trash, trash has to be burned (don't burn him literally haha). At this point based on how you are being treated, or rather the lack of being treated, it doesn't really matter whether or not he is cheating on you, you can find much better, I guarantee it. You got college waiting for you =) Just learn from this experience and make sure to be more careful with who you pick the next time.
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