I know about vulvodynia- it's considered a psychiatric condition (don't feel like that doesn't make it valid though) where your vaginal muscles spasm and/or clench when something attempts to enter the vagina, causing discomfort or pain during sex, and it often makes people lose the will to have sex. It can be treated with therapy and also certain sex toy (but not as fun) type things that are supposed to make you relax and learn to counter your body's instincts to clench if something comes near your vagina.

The good news is, it is treatable. So if you have that, there is hope!

Good luck!!

Thanks so much for the reply. I am a little afraid of the whole "its considered a psychiatric condition" part because that means therapy. I have had lots of bad things happen to me sexually, as a kid and teenager and that means that I will have to deal with those issues once and for all. its a demon that I have needed to face for years. I know its going to be hard but I need to do it. I am too young to not enjoy sex fully. I feel good to be in the right direction. Only good can come out of it right?

When I have sex or sexual activities theres this block in my mind that comes up, like a wall to protect me. Then I tell myself you are ok, you are with the man that loves you and this is a good thing and you are safe. So almost every time I go through this routine. Its not normal.

But thanks for the hope and good wishes.

Sure! Therapy will be good for you! I promise. It might be hard at first, and make sure you spend time finding a therapist that you really like and trust. Remember that you are the consumer here, and find the right therapist for you.

But especially given your past, it could definitely be vulvodynia. Perhaps this is better for a sex therapist to tackle? I'm not sure. I'd find one and ask them. But just remember, it's good that it's psychiatric, because it's a disorder that really is treatable.

Good luck!