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Q: Fiance Wont Feel Baby Move!
asked by: pixma on September 26th, 2007
Extremely EHEALTHy
i'm probably in the wrong forum but this is really starting to concern me.

Stephen will not touch my belly when our baby is moving about. Its almost like he's pretending that she is not there growing inside of me and that the only time all this is real will be when i'm in hospital giving birth to her. Why would he be doing this?

We can talk about her, although its only been in the last 6 weeks or so. I just dont understand whats going through his mind and its making me very nervous.

Were any of your other halves like this before you children were born?

I hope this all makes sense!! i'm having trouble finding the words to explain my situation.
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Bridget replied on September 26th, 2007
Especially EHEALTHy
have you asked him why he doesn't want to feel her moving? sorry, i don't have any advice. it does seem a little strange to me.

was this baby planned?
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Zanny replied on September 26th, 2007
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Guys aren't as well informed about things during pregnancy as we are (obviously.. it's our body), so maybe he's nervous about touching your belly because he's scared of hurting her or something? Or perhaps he's just a bit freaked out by it.. I know one of my friends would go "eww that's weird!" when she felt my belly so then didn't do it again. I don't know, I'm just guessing.. but you should definitely try & talk to him about it. Explain to him how you feel, & that him not giving a reason why he won't touch your belly bothers you.
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Marianne0558 replied on September 26th, 2007
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Re: Fiance Wont Feel Baby Move!
pixma wrote:
i'm probably in the wrong forum but this is really starting to concern me.

Stephen will not touch my belly when our baby is moving about. Its almost like he's pretending that she is not there growing inside of me and that the only time all this is real will be when i'm in hospital giving birth to her. Why would he be doing this?

We can talk about her, although its only been in the last 6 weeks or so. I just dont understand whats going through his mind and its making me very nervous.

Were any of your other halves like this before you children were born?

I hope this all makes sense!! i'm having trouble finding the words to explain my situation.


My fiance wouldn't feel our baby moving for a while either. He said it felt "like an alien is invading your body."
It took him a while to overcome these feelings, but eventually he got that it was important for him to have some interaction.
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Mommy35 replied on September 26th, 2007
Extremely EHEALTHy
When you are sitting on the couch just have his hand sitting on your belly so he can feel it and learn that it isn't as freaky as it may seem. Maybe he is afraid.? Of what I don't know, some men are strange like that.
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rosejackson replied on September 26th, 2007
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bobby was the same but thats cos he was scared. he did get better with time though. sorry i havent got much advise other than be patient and try and talk to him about how it is upsetting you
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young Girl replied on September 26th, 2007
Especially EHEALTHy
at first travis couldnt feel her move. now he likes to put things on my tummy and watch her knock them around.

i think you should talk to him shar and figure out why he doesnt want to feel her? i dont know maybe hes scared or maybe its just one of those "guy things"
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pixma replied on September 26th, 2007
Extremely EHEALTHy
No this wasnt a planned pregnancy. Infact i had been told that i had a very small chance of conceiving naturally. Stephen and i had been together for nearly 5 1/2 years and i never fell pregnant.....till now of course.

He is a very much a mans man and he has said on a couple of occasions that when she is here he will hold her and feel her that way. Does that make sense??? Confused

We are both very scared of the unknown and both never thought we would become parents but there are just times when i feel like i'm doing this all on my own.

Thanks everyone for replying to my post. Smile
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young Girl replied on September 26th, 2007
Especially EHEALTHy
oh hun im sorry
you know we are here for you if you need anything

it will get better
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amethyst eyes replied on September 26th, 2007
Extremely EHEALTHy
Maybe you should sit down and talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel about his involvement. He may just be clueless and completely freaked out that he is going to be a Daddy. It is a big change for some men.
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pixma replied on September 26th, 2007
Extremely EHEALTHy
i hope u are right!!!

i know that he will be a great daddy. I was just hoping it would show before she is here i guess.

Thanks heaps, i feel a little better now!
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musikmaker replied on September 26th, 2007
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My husband wasn't too big on feeling him move but now he is always holding him and showing him affection. I don't think that men feel the same way about pregnancy as women do. My husband and I were on total different wavelengths my whole pregnancy.
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pixma replied on September 27th, 2007
Extremely EHEALTHy
That sounds just like stephen!!

I hope he does change his attitude towards his daughter because if he is still like this a while after she is born i'm in big trouble!! *sigh*
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Becky replied on September 27th, 2007
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i'm sure he will be better once she is born and he can actually see her and hold her
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rosejackson replied on September 27th, 2007
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im sure hell do fine when the baby arrives
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hopefulmjz replied on September 27th, 2007
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I think he'll warm up to her once she's born. Because then he can actually see what was moving around in there!
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Bridget replied on September 27th, 2007
Especially EHEALTHy
i asked if it was planned because i thought if it wasn't then maybe he just feels overwhelmed. like the more real it becomes (seeing you get bigger, feeling her move), the scarier it gets?

i'm sure he'll come around when she's here!
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pixma replied on September 30th, 2007
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i'm sure you are all right and thank you so much for all of your replys!! Smile
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