Medical Questions > Parenting > Adoption Forum

Open Adoptions--opinions Please

I am considering an open adoption for a relative of mine. I am not pregnant, but this person is unable to have a child and would love to have one. I have thought about becoming pregnant and having an open adoption so she can have her child. Is this irrational or what? I would like to see what someone else thinks.

By the way, I am 24 and married with 2 children and 1 step child and this is something that I am seriously considering.
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replied September 11th, 2003
I think that what you are wanting to do is a beautiful thing..... Giving the gift of life. I support you 100%
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replied September 11th, 2003
Experienced User
What an act of true unselfishness...A wonderful thing indeed.
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replied October 28th, 2003
Sound's like a generous thing to do...I'm just wondering why this question showed up in a bi-polar forum.
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replied December 16th, 2003
Open Adoptions
I was just wondering why this post was under bipolar disorders. I know that bipolar disorders are more prevalent among adopted individuals but I thought that was just for children adopted at a few years of age. Especially if the child had been abused in his younger years. My adopted grandson has bipolar disorder, he was adopted at four years of age and had been in a very abusive situation. He is a teenager now and has serious problems. If you are concerned about a newborn adoption and bipolar disorder, I wouldn't think that should be a concern.
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replied December 16th, 2003
Active User, very eHealthy
I think open adoptions for family members are wonderful however I beleive when you are giving your child to someone else it could get very complicated. The child may become very confused, perhaps even resentful.
Also I did not know that bipolar disorder was more prevalent among adoptees, are you sure that isn't a misconception? Not all adopted children have issues unless your referring to children adopted after being in a prior horrible, abusive etc situation. Then again anyone in that type of situation would act out not just adoptees. I hope I don't sound defensive but i'm adopted thats why I was a bit shocked. If that is true I really would like to see some documentation as I would be interested to read it. Thank you
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replied December 16th, 2003
Bipolar, Adopted Children
I did say that I believed this disorder was only linked to adopted children who had been in abusive situations during the first few years of life. We have become aware of quite a few since our adopted grandson was diagnosed.
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replied December 16th, 2003
Active User, very eHealthy
Were the others also in abusive situations?
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replied December 20th, 2003
Open Adoption
The first surrogate-mother trial was recorded in the bible. Sarah and abraham used haggar and she bore ishmal. They did this because they were impatient with god's promise to abraham. Approx. 8 to 10 yrs later, sarah bore isaac, and god's promise was fulfuilled.
However, read the rest of the story and you will see that things did not work out very well. Needless to say, the scuffel continues today between the decendants of abraham. (the middle east....The sons of abraham). Crying or Very sad
your intentions are admirable, but just remember that "hell is paved with good intentions." just be sure that god should factor into your decision.....Maybe an out right adoption of one of the thousands of children in this country, would be an even more loving answer for your relative. After all, any pregnency hold a certain amount of risk to the mother and child.
If you proceed on this course, be sure that all parties involved are ready to accept any and all consequence's. May god bless you in your decision. Cool
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replied December 23rd, 2003
Extremely eHealthy
It doesn't matter if the child is adopted as an infant or a teenager! Bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance and can be hereditary. It can be worsened by abuse, but it is definately not the cause.
You are doing a wonderful thing. Just make sure you are ready!
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replied January 17th, 2004
In my religion, giving children to couples who cannot have children of their own is quite common. My little sister's best friend was adopted by her parents in such a way, and I must say that it is one of the most beautiful acts of unselfishness you could ever do. If you believe in god or some higher power, then you can imagine how much he must smile upon such an act. Just make sure you are absolutely ready to go through with it. It is very hard to give up a child and lawsuits over such cases are very ugly. Make sure you've talked about this to the person you would be giving the child to as well. Make sure they are ok with everything and that they will be ready to recieve that special child when the time comes. But as long as you've made sure of everything, i'd say to go ahead with it!
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replied February 6th, 2004
Biopolar/open Adoption
I think that is a big decision that u and your husband would have to make.Cause later on in life you could regret that decision that you are making but you and your husband needs to sit down and have a long talk about I made that mistake but I really didnt have a choice in the matter either it was either give up 3 boys and keep 1 or I lost them all four so if I was u think long and hard before making it



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