How to Get Over Lack of Love From Girls

hun you may want to put this in relationship forum. youll get more answers

plus
the womens chat forum is for women only
men cannot post here
just like women cant post in mens chat!!!

and hey i was a cheerleader and i NEVER dated football players

Hey, I never had a boyfriend or kissed until I was 18 and in college!!
I had no use for boyfriends in highschool. I got one in college because there I met guys that weren't total jerks.

I never kissed or dated anyone in highschool.

I didn't have sex until I was 20. Its my personal opinion that 16 is far too young to be having sex anyway! (there are exceptions but most teens are too young.)

Just because all of your friends are being irresponsible and having sex doesn't mean you have to be! You simply have no reason to be dating right now.

You feel unmanly? That's because you're not a man yet. Neither are your friends, no matter how many vaginas their penis has been in. I've never met a man in highschool aside from the teachers. You are KIDS. There also ain't any women in your student body! All those females are GIRLS and you are a BOY and guess what? That's okay! Be a kid for god's sake!

Cheerleaders (for the most part, Girlfriend!) are slu-s and who-es! Don't try dating them anyway. Girls like them are shallow, mean, annoying, and only care about their fingernail polish. I hate them too!!

I know that I should wait...but, I feel like I'm weaker than all the boys and girls that are having sex since I'm not as sexually aggressive as them. Should I feel that way?

First off, can we eliminate the flaming. please? Thank you.

MMA Fighter:

First off, I'm definitely old enough to be your mom so I can give you adivice from "the other side". You also may consider me to be a bit old-fashioned in my views but they've gotten me this far.

Your unhappiness is timeless. I mean, I went through it when I was your age and I'm certain that generations before me (even the dinosaurs!) went through it. Except maybe the sex part.

I'm not entirely certain what the rush to have sex is. If you do everything now, what will you have to look forward to? There's a difference between having sex and sharing physical love. Which are you looking for? Sex for the sake of sex can leave one feeling very empty afterwards. I speak from experience. Sex for the sake of sex involves no intimacy, just hormones calling to each other. IMHO you're too young to be doing this because of all of the permanent diseases you can catch from having unprotected sex, much less becoming a father at 16. Think about it--is it really worth taking chances just to "do it" (as it were).

You know, it's very easy to lie on surveys--just because they're in Big Name Magazines doesn't give them credibility. The statistics are based solely on answers and if the answers aren't true the statistics aren't worth anything.

When I was in high school I never dated anyone. I was "one of the boys". My interests were more male-oriented (I loved professional baseball and could hold my own with the best of them). I wasn't interested in dressing up, using makeup and playing the silly games that girls would use to go after boys. Plus, I was in the "smart group", so to speak and we were interested in other things.

Whilst it was great to be "one of the boys" it was also a killer. One of the guys in the group I really liked for much of high school. He considered me "a pal" only and I'd listen to his girlfriend problems. And absolutely died inside. More than once I cried myself to sleep because no one expressed an interest in me.

In senior year I met a friend of a friend of mine on a school field trip. We hit it off grandly and towards the end of the year we exchanged class rings (do they still do that any more?). We were "going steady" and when my male friends saw his ring on my finger they suddenly realized I was A Female and dropped me. I felt like I had a rare and possibly communicable disease. I couldn't stand being ostracized so I gave the guy his ring back after five days. I hated myself for what I'd done to him--dropping him for this group.

You're judging yourself by artificial standards. I know you've heard this before in a different context, but jumping off a 10-story building defined you as a "man" would you do it (even if everyone else was doing it)?

A Real Man is comfortable in his own skin. He is in touch with his feelings and is a friend to himself. He accepts his good and bad points (and works on the bad ones). He doesn't follow the crowd for the sake of following it and doesn't have to explain to anyone his reason for not following. He defines himself in terms of himself and not in terms of anyone else. He accepts people for who they are (he may not necessarily *like* a particular person but acceptance is not the same as liking).

A Real Man is multifaceted. He is always interested in learning something big or small. He moves forward and looks ahead. He has a plan for his life (alhtough that plan doesn't have to be for the rest of his life, it can be for the semester, for the year) and he is flexible enough to revise his plan in the event he finds out the plan isn't working.

You may possibly have a strike against you because you're bi-racial and people at your age can be extremely cruel about race. Young people place importance on things that older people have gotten past: looks, money (often reflected in the way one dresses)--stuff that fade over time. Older people (maybe about 10 years older or so than you) start to look for character, honesty, friendship--the intangible things that don't fade.

The semester has started. How about joining a club or an organization, or leaning a new skill? You'd be with other people who had stuff in common with you and form new friendships. THE BASIS TO ANY RELATIONSHIP IS FRIENDSHIP!! Maybe form a study group with people from a class, males and females.

You talked about the cheerleaders. They're what I call the "first row" women (think of bleachers). Everyone sees them and many are shallow enough not to see past them. Take comfort in the fact that many of them have reached their peak in high school and will on the downward slide for the rest of their lives.

Now, look in the rows above the cheerleaders. There are all kinds of women. They may not have the looks that the first-row females have and are probably somewhat shy. But I'll bet there's someone up there who is just dying to go out with you but she's too shy to even approach you. She may even cry herself to sleep because no one notices her.

Do you make yourself approachable? It *is* important to keep good grooming because, as the commercial said, you only get one chance to make a first impression. It's like this throughout life--even in job interviews. Do you walk around like you have a storm cloud over you? If you do, STOP IT! It's possible you could be sending out signals saying "Stay Away". Project an air of confidence (even if it's just an act). Show people that you are someone worth knowing.

You seem like a very likeable young man, just a little frustrated. I'll bet you're very smart, too (seem lately that Asians have it all over Westerners in terms of getting good grades). You have a great deal to offer some lucky young woman but it may take a little time. It's OK, really it is. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself (I know, it's easy to say because I'm not in your position).

I didn't have my first "True Love" until I was in second year of University. It was also my first Big Heart Break. Relationships are like roses--they look beautiful but they have thorns that can hurt. Every relationship has a 50/50 chance of working out (and I include parting as friends and maintaining that friendship for the rest of your life--I have some of those). I didn't get married until I was 38 and actually wasn't ever planning on getting married.

I was happy being by myself. I accomplished many things I wouldn't have otherwise. Yes, I was alone but I wasn't lonely (well, sometimes I was). There's a big difference between "alone" and "lonely". You can be in a large crowd and feel terribly lonely. You can be alone and be terribly happy.

I'm sorry for the rambling. I have a migraine coming on and need to address it.

Good luck, keep posting and ignore the flamers.

MMAFighter:
Suzy is right, girls cannot tell if a guy is a virgin or not..
not by the way you dress
by the way you smell
or by the way you walk..
nothing tells us if you have had sex.....
but one thing that we do like is confidence

Confidence sounds easy but is kind of hard for me since I have some personal problems that I have finally started to confront even though they've been building up for a long time. I'll try to improve my confidence...

that's good that you are taking a step forward in helping yourself!!
plus, you are only 16...
you have so much time..
don't worry about having a girlfriend, or having sex, or being in a relationship...
it'll happen when it's supposed to..
just realize how lucky you are..
you aren't in the running for any STD's or unwanted teen pregnancies..
don't have sex b/c everyone is...
have sex b/c you love the girl and you are serious about the relatoinship
=)

MMA fighetr Pm me anytime ya need lol
sorry i didnt get back to you til this morning i had to get to bed last night

you'll be fine

Honestly I was 19 before I got a girlfriend and a kiss and everything else. There is nothing at all wrong with you. Instead of jumping to any girl, wait for that right girl to come along and you wont be disappointed

Things happen when they happen, just be yourself and good things will come from it.

Jeez man, you really want this -_-. Haha weaker? I don't know if you are talking about physically, but that would make no sense. If you are saying you feel like you are below them because of their sexual experience, well, I understand that because I'm a 19 year old version. But uuh honestly, I feel superior to them because I know that I had the mind of discipline and control that other guys my age couldn't control or resist because they thought with their penis (I'm not talking about you guys who decided to lose it to somebody important, just one of those American Pie scenarios). They are thus just people who gave in to their primal instincts, which there is nothing wrong about, but makes those who chose not to give in, unique.

As the ladies said, no its not as if women can tell what you've done based on looks, but they are people to and most people judge from first impressions regardless of whatever they may say. All, I swear it, all the ladies I met in college first year, that I've talked to about what they thought of me, told me that at first they thought I was a man hoe, a player, a fly party boy, etc. Then they were very surprised to hear that I don't quite party so much and I don't drink, and I have kept my virginity. A few thought I was lieing and got kind of pissed off thinking that I was just trying to be a player and make myself look all clean and innocent. None has said "I don't know you that well so I never assumed that you drink, had sex multiple times, and party".

Fashion... if you are just trying to find "the one", then sentimentally and idealistically speaking all such superficial aspects should not be important. They must like you for you, as the people in this forum must have said a million times. But from what it looks like, you aren't looking for the one, you just want to meet girls, meet girls, talk to girls, lose it to girls, meet more girls. Sorry, but you definitely aren't writing this for assistance to find the one and only.

If that is your goal, fashion and your presentation are important, that is life, whether its for a job interview, a social dinner, wedding invite, or meeting girls/guys, your first impressions will make or break you.