This is going to sound so horrible. I feel more connected to my lil' one than I did with Nathan at this age. Nathan really didn't make a lot of eye contact with me. He really didn't seem to care who was holding him. He was interested in the world around him more than people. He was dx with Autism at age two by three different professionals. He even had symptoms at age 3 months due to the lack of eye contact. He really didn't want anything to do with people until he was around three. He has since been undx because all of his symptoms miraculously went away. He is very social now.

Brian makes so much eye contact it's so precious (and completely normal). I see what I didn't have with Nathan and feel guilty that I feel more connected with Brian. It is very hard for me to be away from Brian when I am at work for just two days a week. With Nathan, I didn't really have that hard of time. I just can't explain it. It must be the eye contact. Brian smiles at me a lot and coos at me. Nathan never did. He rarely babbled when he got older.

So, that's that. I feel like such a bad mommy for feeling this way.