Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 556 Location: Loony-tune-land, England
What Do I Do When Man Goes Into His 'cave' Posted: 09-21-07 06:01am
I've been married 2 years, we've been
living together for nearly 7 years, and we
started out like a whirlwind, he moved in
with me after 2 months ...
Some may say we may be going thru a '7
year itch' but my hubby, who I love
unconditionally, and I am so in love with,
was having doubts about 'us' ...
I think he's going into a 'cave' as stated
in " Men are from Mars ... Women are from
Venus" and I think he's wanting some
space. I'm afraid that if I let him into
his cave, he won't come out again .. what
do you guys think I should do ?
He says I've done nothing wrong, that life
has gone a bit stale, although we have an
'adventerious' sex life.
He works hard, sometimes upto 12-15 hour
days, I know when he gets home, all he
wants is a bath, his dinner and sleep.
Which I think is taking it's toll on our
marraige. Is he working too hard? needs
space, his own time, and he's just taking
it out on me? I dunno what to think, I'm
all confused.
If anyone has any positive answers, or
suggestions, please could you reply
...Thanks
|
wazzywoman4ever
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 67 Location: texas, america
You Seem to Have It Posted: 09-22-07 06:36am
you have this thought out pretty darn good
already .....my money is on communication
keep it open he is working through a thing
and I don't think you should take it so
personal it may have nothing to do with
you and by virtue of how close you two are
your gonna get some of it on you ..try
reading this book ....THE FIVE LANGUAGES
OF LOVE By Gary Chapman it might be the
answer to your confusion ...keep up the
good work ....wazzywoman /robin
|
The Ginger 1
Moderator
Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 556 Location: Loony-tune-land, England
Posted: 09-24-07 17:55pm
Thanks robin ...
it all came to blows on Saturday, we
talked, things got heated, hurtful words
were used, but then, any negitive
emotions, can be turned into positive
action.... after the storm came the calm,
and we both agreed to work things out ....
he no longer needs his cave to hide in,
and I'm no longer confused and emotional.
My Hubby lost his Dad when he was young,
so he doesn't really have a father figure
to turn to when sons need to talk things
out.... as Mike is close to my Dad, he
asked him out for a beer, my Dad listened
and advised Mike as he would his own son.
My Dad is impartial, so, he wouldn't pick
sides, he'd just say it as it is.
Things are so much better now, and we've
gone back to being the mad-ass 'lovers'
we've always been. I understand why he
was distant now, although I heard what he
was saying, it bloody hurt to hear the one
you love point out the negitive side of
yourself, however, I turned this into
postive action, and now we are working on
being a better couple.
Ginger
|
Mabel
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8951 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 179
Thanked:198
Posted: 09-24-07 18:06pm
I'm glad this was resolved quickly. Good
luck.
|
The Ginger 1
Moderator
Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 556 Location: Loony-tune-land, England
Posted: 09-24-07 18:38pm
I suppose we're lucky to have family to
help ..... I did surprise him tonight tho
... being our
2nd anniversay an all !! I shot both
barrels of my love !! Sparked the poor man
off his feet.
|
The Ginger 1
Moderator
Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 556 Location: Loony-tune-land, England
Posted: 10-07-07 07:42am
Hi again ...
It worked .... good communication, a good
blow out of all the things that p***ed us
off ... and we had a good laugh about them
too ....
We have our 'own' time apart now, and it's
keeping us together .. and we are back to
being the Mad-ass lovers again ....
Thanks
