I'm at home, I've been for the past week,
sleeping, crying. I finally mustered up
just enough energy to write this post.
Hmm...I've spent the last 5 years
''getting help'', asking for help; feeling
suicidal, then feeling really good
(manic-like), and then really depressed
and suicidal again.
People come and go...I'm trying to do my
best to be in denial about the fact that I
have NO FRIENDS-only a family who would
probably be better off WITHOUT me. School
is my life but I'm failing and I think
I'll quit which basically leaves me with
absolutely NOTHING to look forward to....I
wanted to be a psychologist (yeah right..)
.......hmmm...I'm 21 but I feel like I'm
this 90 year old sitting in a nursery home
all day long waiting to die.
I've been hospitalized already and I don't
want to go down that road again- for me,
being hospitalized = being forced to take
medication and being restrained. I still
get nightmares about almost being
suffocated while being restrained.
I just want to be loved and accepted, and
if that's not possible then I just wanna
die.
|
twilight_mist
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 40 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 09-22-07 13:57pm
Please don't give up on school if it makes
you feel better in any way. It usually
helps slightly to have something to focus
your energy at.
I have no friends at school, I don't think
I've had proper friends at school since
.. I don't even know.. a long time ago.
Isn't there anywhere you can go after
school or in weekends where you might meet
people that you can get to know and
befriend? (like sports clubs and stuff).
There's always someone who cares about
you. Know that you are loved, and try to
find ways to make yourself feel better.
- We are here for you.
