what is out there that I could take prefferably natural to turn off,down ,kill my sex drive ?????????me and my virgo are so unequal its causing problems ...........?????????????I seriously want to put my own fire out wazzywoman
You might want to try BCP. I have heard that kills the sex drive. Another one is antidepressants that kill many woman's sex drive, period.
I feel your frustration. I am in a similar but not exact situation as you. My hubby still likes to take the short cut as much as he can. Which means no foreplay, just climb up on me and climb off. Like I said in other notes, I started to make demands since couple of years ago and I actually had some success. I am really mad at him right now. I let him do the quicky a couple of times because he promised to give me oral over the weekend. Weekend comes and goes. He stayed away from the bed as late as he could. Last night he climbed up on me again and told me to wait for oral over the weekend again. I exploded. I pushed him off the bed and told him he broke his promise and no more sex ever! He had the nerve to be mad at me too. This morning he tried to hug me. "No more sex" must got him. We will see what happens. Why it's so hard to get my due? I sticked with him for 20 years, through his selfishness in bed and premature ejeculation. Reading some of the happy women's notes really made me felt so unfortunate. I am always faithful to him not because nobody else want me. This is what I get for being loyal and constant.
I'm to the point that I don't even ask for oral anymore. It's getting old plus my boyfriend, though he does mean well and WANTS to try, doesn't seem to enjoy it the way he used to. The few times it happens anymore, I try to visualize as best and fast as I can... My heart goes out to you... and myself. I'm starting to think that sex just isn't meant for women. It is for men. I just want to kill my drive and try to be happy
Same here.... much as i sympathize feels great to know im not alone. I feel sad because its affecting me as much as i try to ignore the situation. you know he comes home after work eats,sleeps monday-monday. the worst part is i never learn so far atleast, he always always rejects me but he's clever he does it very softly that i dont feel bad i think its because i got over it at first i couldnt sleep well but now im easy. Anyway he always says no but expects me to say yes n give in when he's in the mood. i think its selfish i also dont get those really happy moments people always take about like spontaneous sex and oral and you know everything. Getting it off my chest feels great. He doesnt desire me might as well get over him too. Plus i miss the sex with my ex it was incredible.
You are on the right track. Step up your efforts at denying him sex. Most likely you will to put up with sex every once in awhile. Eventually, dent him more often until you have broken his will. It may not be easy, but trust me in matters of control and psychological warfare women have the upper hand. Men are designed to be physical and not emotional. Therefore, as a woman, since women by nature are emotional, you clearly will have the advantage. In fact if you are able to played it right on whatever rare occasions that you may desire sex you should be able to get him to preform orally before he gets his pleasure. Of course, when it its done you will need to tell him how inconvenient it was and/or how bad it was for you. It is imperative to keep up the negative reinforcement, otherwise, he might actually get bold enough to actually bother you at sometime for sex. As you gain more and more control you will inevitably lose you sex drive. You see, sex is an expression of love and and sex drive ultimately starts in the mind and the heart. Now to take it to the next level. You have now started to break his will. It will take very little effort at this point to finish the process and completely crush his will. You will now for all intents and purposes have your own private servant. At this point your sex drive should be all gone, at least for him. If for some reason you have any urges remember to make him please you first and then belittle him afterwards. Trust me this works, I know from personal experience that this works. It has been used on me with three different women and it worked every time. Even the third time when I had worked out our the process. The alternative, for you would be to, if you do love him, find a way to openly and lovingly communicate your needs and desires to him and as an equal listen to his needs and desires. This may require professional marriage counseling.. Just a word of warning if you do this too quickly or if he is mentally tough enough to handle your attacks, he might just rebel against the abuse or simply leave you.. There is your solution to kill your sex drive. Hopefully, you choose love over abuse, for both your sake and for your husband's.
I have considered a therapist but if I have to go alone I can't face it right now
antidepressants??????might look into that one was on a good one cymbalta it was not doing it for me I actually had the worst crying jags on that stuff no the one thing I have done is purchased the vibrator............now need batteries duh??????????and took all I had on me to get it ....I am at my daughters for a visit she had knee surgery ....my virgo is getting a break from me and my needs ......I had hoped to get laid before leaving nope the day before I did but it took my threatening to leave him to get it ? this is just way too hard on me harder than it needs to be ????????????I have hard choices to make over these next five long weeks .....wish me luck
I really wish you luck! I used to have no sexual need for about 10 years, so I didn't think sex in relationship is that important. Now I tasted the pleasure, I realized it's importance. I really feel for you now because mine is not ideal either. I understand your frustration. I hope the vibrator is enough for you. Personally, I wouldn't feel enough. I want my man to give me pleasure, not a thing. I tried masturbating a couple of times and got orgasms, but the emotional fullfillment was not there. I rather not do it again. What's different in my case is I don't have to worry about not getting laid. It's about him not work hard enough to give me O. Well, he's in my good grace again cuz he gave me three big Os last night.
Although you are looking for something to kill your desire to save the relationship, will that work? In the long run, will you resent him? I am sorry I don't have a good solution, I really wish you luck!
Let me try .....resent him? god yes it is beyond me why he would ask me to marry him and him not want to have sex with me more than he does ...He pulls these wonderful spontaneous connections on me from time to time that set me back make me wonder why I complain......I loath masturbation it is a punishment to me I will never see it any other way ..and sex with out him is not what I want either I tried I have left him It is him and his sex that I want and think I need until...........I don't and I have a feeling it will be a while .....he makes very small steps to improve our intimacy issues its not number one on his to do list he is about working and making good money to make our lives easier until we are on that street in our lives he won't stop the grind to get ahead and maybe relax and live it ........I would rather be with my virgo and homeless than with any one else and be kept ....I tried I know this is true for me ...........my daughter is beside her self and wonders why I can't just leave him and go back and give her step dad a second chance??????????if we were talking about my virgo I would be all about doing what she asks but the leo had a heavy thumb on my life I never want to go back to that kind of life ....this guy sex issue aside is everything I want to be easy going laid back and not demanding at all if I have not made the bed he says shut the door ....If I have not cooked he says what would you like me to make ?my short comings are never an issue for the virgo leo on the other hand ....not gonna bring it up ...total control of my life picked my friends plotted out the course of my day in what I should get done on a given day ......sit in on any conversation and actually talk for me and I would let him I still can't get off the phone with him unless he lets me my virgo was livid he can't believe the control that leo still had after all this time and by phone ....ok found some words huh? heheheheheh ........I either have to put up with what virgo is doing or leave him if I really dont like it thats all I can see right now so if changes dont come then I will be crying for a different reason .....just got to take little bites one day at a time he could pull another surprise out of his hat for me and I can feel good again time and more time ,,,,,thanks for the read wazzywoman/robin
Why Americans are obsessed with sex? I lived in many countries most of them in middle east; the guys there complain that they can not get enough sex for several reasons
1. The first and the most important thing is that WOMEN ARE NOT EQUAL TO MEN
2. Having sex when they are not married it is a challenge and comes with a risk of getting killed because if traditions
3. After marriage the wife is working at home taking care of the kids and the house all day long and she is not into the mood of having sex afterwards.
4. Being able to see the hot girls and women in the street and not being able to talk to them will increase the level of hormones in menÃÂ¢Ã¯Â¿Â½Ã¯Â¿Â½s body.
5. the way the girls and women dressed is also a factor since they dress very sexy and at the same time keep most of their bodies covered
6. all porn sites are block by the government, so there is no way to vent if they want to vent using that method
7. dealing or distributing porno movies are illegal
On the other hand in the US the opposite is happening.
1. MAN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL
2. They teach sex prevention to underage kids Starting at 13 years old
3. Father and mother not home (working like dogs to survive)
4. kids can have sex and even get pregnant without fear of any one, since the government backs them up against the parents under child abuse umbrella
5. the men can all type of venting in the western world i.e. (Watching porno, going to night clubs and going home with any girl, going to nude clubs, ÃÂ¢Ã¯Â¿Â½ÃÂ¦etc.)
Then women in this country they have been living in this dream of being equal with men and the men gave them a fake right and I will tell you why I thing after the women rights you as a woman have less rights than before.
1. you have to work to survive not like the Middle East counties it is a choice to work or not
2. Women gets regnant and the have to go back to work after few weeks of giving birth and hand over you kids to other to look after them. On the other hands in Middle East you have to privilege to be with your kids and raise then the way you want to.
3. all this hoopla about women rights was because they needed cheap labor. Tow third of world population are women so if we put them to work the number of people competing on a position is going to rise 200% which means they will work for less.
Any how good luck for all of you and you will be having the amount of sex you want and more when your man feels he is the man and he can take care of his family by himself and not worry about future.
If you plan to stay with this dude, and he has made it clear that he does not want to have sex with you, here are some ideas that might help shut down the sexual energy in yourself and in the relationship.
1. Consider yourselves brother and sister now, not husband and wife. DO NOT sleep in the same bed with him, and if possible, start sleeping in separate rooms.
2. Do not kiss, hug or touch him, and do not allow him to do those things to you either.
3. Consult your doctor about drugs that have the known side-effect of wiping out sex drive. Some of the antidepressants are known to do that, and maybe they can be prescribed off-label.
4. Consider some of the natural remedies that can lower the sex drive. (I think one of those products is called Libidno.)
5. Do lots of reading about women who have been raped, abused and mutilated by men. That can shut off any woman's sex drive in a hurry. Associating sex with something unpleasant may help make sex appear much less desirable.
6. If you are getting close to menopause, you're in luck. Menopause has a way of wiping out the female sex drive, especially for women who have been celibate for very long periods of time.
7. Get rid of anything in your wardrobe that you may have been using to try to get your husband interested in you sexually. No more plunge necklines, high-heeled shoes or sexy lingerie. Dress for comfort only. He is no longer someone with whom you are sexually involved. He has brother status only.
This is more than simply lowering your own libido. Whatever sexual energy is still in that relationship needs to be dismantled and destroyed so that there will no longer be any sexual attraction in any direction.
You are the victim of a HUGE double standard here. Why do you want to quash your sex drive when you should be wanting to satisfy it? Think if the roles were reversed and you had little but your husband had an abundance of sexual desire...
I think it is quite likely you'd be on this forum asking how you could increase your desire so that you could please your partner as much and often as he desired.
Shouldn't he be looking for ways to increase his drive/performance in order to keep you satisfied?
I say this with the assumption that the two of you are in love, or at least love each other and plan to be partners till one of you dies(I hope that's a long, long time away).
Ok, I know this probably didn't help, but I couldn't let it pass without pointing out the double standard.
I agree you shouldn't be trying to quash your sex drive...
Its human nature to get fixated on stuff you can't have and if you aren't careful when you get fixated on sex it can get to be a sort of hobby - masturbation, especially, can get that way as the more you do it the more you tend to want to do it until, far from just the purpose of relief, you must do it for recreation, to fill in an hour before an appointment or something or before you go out just in case you get the urge later...
Having said all that I have to express my disappointment with the attitude of the man in your life - he has really let the male sex down! Even if he doesn't want to have sex himself and isn't in the mood to give you the oral he promised you he could manage a nice cuddle and use his hands on you or drive that vibrator for you - always more satisfying when somebody else does it for you...
The best advice I can give you is begin trying to distract yourself with something else at all those times when you aren't really desperate for relief. It will be stressful for a while but after a few weeks you should become used to managing without first two or three orgasms every week and then after a few more weeks a few more less, and so on...
Cutting down on a sex addiction isn't much different from cutting down on anything else: food, booze, smoking...
If everything else fails and you don't fancy taking a lover, you could always make it your life's work to teach likely looking young men what to do with their tackle - begin by seducing the paper-boy (something that has worked for many frustrated housewives)!
Check your man's web history...most here probably have the same problem I do...a husband hooked on porn. It's HELL and I'm ready to give up since he said he stopped, and hasn't, and I'm not sure he ever will.
I need help my husband has been through one back surgery and when we got together medicine was helping with the pain and we had sex all the time all positions it was wonderful...now his back has started to bother him again and it hurts him after we have sex...he says he has to choose pleasure with pain r no pleasure with just the regular pain...I kn he is hurting and he is the sweetest I tell him we can just have oral but that always leads to sex...what should I do I hate being rejected even if I kn its only bc of his back I still feel like I'm unsexy and I have a very high sec drive what do I do?