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Strain On Marriage Due to Infertilty Treatment

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little angel

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Posts: 10
Location: Alhambra
Strain On Marriage Due to Infertilty Treatment
Posted: 09-16-07 01:55am

My husband and I have been trying to concieve for almost 4 years now. We just started infertility treatment (IUI). We're on day 3 of injections and we've gotten into an arguement every night. Sad We generally never argue about much, so I'm worried about what the stresses of fertility treatment is doing to our marriage.

One day one, we argued because we were both just really nervous and stressed out about doing the injections correctly.

On day 2 of injections, we argued about him asking me to find someone else to give me my injections so that he can hang out with an out of town friend. He realizes now that he should be here and decided to meet with his friend after he gives me my injection.

And today, we argued because he had 3 beers. Although the doctor said that he can drink in "moderation", it bother's me that he won't sacrafice drinking just for ONE WEEK, if not drinking could possibly increase our chances of conceiving. Don't get me wrong, it's not like he drinks daily. He's more of a weekend drinker. But I just expected that he'd not drink while we were going though treatment.

Is it normal or common for fertility treatment to cause strain in a couples marriage? Or is there more that I should be conerned about? Remember, we're normally a very happy and playful couple.

Please help!

Thank you
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oneybunches

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jan 2007
Posts: 85
Location: Alberta, Canada

Posted: 09-25-07 06:13am

Hi there, I believe that it is quite common for the treatments to cause strain on even the best marriages. Everytime I went to the doctor the very first question he would ask is "how is your marriage?
With friends & family having babies all around you and nothing you do seems to work, the feeling of something wrong increases adding stress to both of you. Confused
When DH & I got to a breaking point where TTC was taking over everyday life we just had to stand back and look at the big picture. If TTC is going to cause our homelife to deteriorate maybe its time to take a break and just enjoy eachother again. Trust me I know, It has been a long TTC road for us 7 years and counting, but... we still have eachother and won't give up on the baby dream, we just make sure it isn't coming between us.
Hope this helps to know you are not alone.
O Smile
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hopinginNJ

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 12

Posted: 10-02-07 14:50pm

It can absolutely cause a strain on a marriage/relationship! I think the trick is to just not let it go too far. I have a female partner--been together 9 years--about 5 of that TTC (on and off). Funny you should mention about arguing while doing meds--SAME THING. Yes, it is VERY stressful in the beginning--getting all the meds/supplies together, playing mad scientist--mixing this, that, and the other, making sure you're both home each night at a certain time, then actually taking the meds. We found it to be really stressful in the beginning (or when we switched doctors and meds). Sometimes the side effects are enough to make you a little edgy too. I can promise you that the meds DO get easer once you've been through a cycle...and think of it this way--maybe you'll be pregnant and not have to do it all again. I know it's next to impossible to stay on an even keel with this stuff, but try not to make each other TOO crazy. Best of luck to you & your husband.
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