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I Don't Think I'm Going to Make It This Time

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I am a 38 year old nursing student who is also a single mother. I have a college degree and recently sold my home to return to college.

I haven't dated anyone since my daughter was born 3 years ago, and I recently ran into someone I dated briefly, he asked me out and I accepted.

We had all of 3 dates, and out of the blue he said, "I'm not expecting anything from you and I hope you aren't expecting anything out of me."

I wasn't wanting this guy as a boyfriend, but I keep meeting guys like him...all they want to do is spend time with me until they can move onto something better, and they ALWAYS find something better.

I have had two other guys ask me out in three years, and both pretty much bolted as soon as they found out I had a child.

I just don't know if I can face being alone for the rest of my life and the older I get the more of a certainty that is starting to look like. Every guy I go out with dumps me...every single one of them. They always leave me for someone else.

I just don't know how I can take much more of this, and I can't be a good mother to my child if I'm upseet all the time. I don't have any friends, because they are all married, and never want to spend time with me, but they find tons of time to spend with their other married friends. Half the time they don't want to return my calls or emails.

I just don't feel like going on like this anymore...I think that my daughter is young and if I die she'll only miss me for a little while before she'll forget about me and be with a new family that will take care of her and love her.

I just don't know why this keeps happening.
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replied September 13th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
doesnt your daughter mean the world to you?
isnt she the best companion you could ever have? she needs you and you need her. and you both love each other
all she has in life is you
dont take her life away from her just because you keep running into jerks

take your time with life and stop trying to force everything to fit together
it will when its ready
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replied September 13th, 2007
Experienced User
I agree....

Life has its ups and downs!

And your daughter is an up!! Let me tell you a child is the best present anyone could ever have in life. I think you just need to take a deep breath and think about what it would be like for your daughter to grow up with out her mommy. Think of how hard that would be for her. She doesn't deserve that just because, like previously stated, your running into jerks. And i dont understand why youhaving a kid should make them run. I have a friend thats 20 and she has a two year old daughter and for some reason it doesn't scare the guys away. And your old enough to where having a child shouldn't be a big deal to someone.

If you don't mind me asking....where do you find these guys?

Maybe you should try meeting someone online, if that isn't where u met these other guys. You know like one of the sites where you enter things in, what you want in a significant other, what you like ect. Then they pair you up with someone similar to you. My mom just did that and shes been seeing this guy for about a month now and its going great! She has me (19yrs old) and an older and younger daughter also (15 or 20 years old). He loves that shes got kids. He doesn't have any and has been married twice already. My mom says shes in love already....after a month! Thats a little extreme if you ask me. But yea they tell eachother they love eachother and that they are both the best thing that ever happened to eachother blah blah blah.

But maybe you could try something like that, but then again maybe thats just not the type of person you are!?
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replied September 13th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
justme99 wrote:
I am a 38 year old nursing student who is also a single mother. I have a college degree and recently sold my home to return to college.

I haven't dated anyone since my daughter was born 3 years ago, and I recently ran into someone I dated briefly, he asked me out and I accepted.

We had all of 3 dates, and out of the blue he said, "I'm not expecting anything from you and I hope you aren't expecting anything out of me."

I wasn't wanting this guy as a boyfriend, but I keep meeting guys like him...all they want to do is spend time with me until they can move onto something better, and they ALWAYS find something better.

I have had two other guys ask me out in three years, and both pretty much bolted as soon as they found out I had a child.

I just don't know if I can face being alone for the rest of my life and the older I get the more of a certainty that is starting to look like. Every guy I go out with dumps me...every single one of them. They always leave me for someone else.

I just don't know how I can take much more of this, and I can't be a good mother to my child if I'm upseet all the time. I don't have any friends, because they are all married, and never want to spend time with me, but they find tons of time to spend with their other married friends. Half the time they don't want to return my calls or emails.

I just don't feel like going on like this anymore...I think that my daughter is young and if I die she'll only miss me for a little while before she'll forget about me and be with a new family that will take care of her and love her.

I just don't know why this keeps happening.


I think the outlook of both posters before me is right. You should put you daughter ahead of any other factor.

I would like to ask a ccouple of questions just to fill in some holes if I might:

1. Where is the baby's father? What happened there?
2. You didn't have a baby until you were 35. What happened in the previous years. Were you married?
3. What makes you think your daughter won't miss you?

Now, your present situation. Did you not expect to be a single mother at 35? Well, now it's three years later and you are 38. You are just going through a down spell. There are still men who aren't scared off by a baby. You just have to find one.

If you've had boyfriends, then you obviously know how to find them and attract them. Maybe you just need to find these next men in a new location. Online dating is a possibility.

My son met his wife online and she had a son. Don't give up hope because the perfect guy could be right around the corner. There are a lot of good catches online--some are just shy around women.
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