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Q: Rant-a Letter to My Day Care Provider Yesterday
asked by: sillyakchick on September 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Warning, long and ranty


So my day care provider called me yesterday at 2 in the afternoon and informed me that she was taking a personal day the next day.

"OK, I said, uh I don't have any backup care for Hannah tomorrow-Darren is working ona roof in another town, my back up sitter is on vacation., and all of my frineds work".

She said "Well, I'm doing it so you will have to deal with it". Pardon me? She said "I gave you as much notice as I could".

I said "well, that's not really very much notice, you know?"

She said "I happen to know you have taken more days off since I started taking care of Hannah than I have in the past 15 years"

PARDON ME?

"And I am going to have to close my business after this month"

EX-CUUUSE ME??

So I said OK. Then she said "I need her to be picked up by 4:30 (well, duh, that's pick up time) Becuase I need to leave town at 4:45.

I thought about it for a little while, then I decided that since Hannah is going to be home with me in two weeks, I would just find alternative care for her for the next two weeks. I mean if she's all p.o.ed at me, I don't want her watching my child, and if she is this stressed out, then she shouldn't be watching children, period, right? So I called her back and I said "I will pick her up at 4 and I would like all of her things packed to g. She won't be returning".

So she said "OH, you are punishing me for needing a day off? I can't have you pick her up at 4 it will have to be earlier, cause the other parents are coming at 4".

Evil or Very Mad "Well, I have to pick up my kid from school at 3:40, so I really can't get there much earlier"

"Well you will need to if you want to have her things"

"Why don't you pack them up and leave them on the front porch and I will come get them?"

"Well, I don't know what all is hers"

Twisted Evil "FINE! I WILL COME TRIGHT NOW!"

So I left work, went and picked her up and gave her this letter:



I am regretful to inform you that today, 9/12/2007 will be Hannah’s last day of care. Although I had originally planned to finish out the month of September, and had given you lengthy notice in that regard, it has come to my attention that we no longer have a relationship which fosters proper care of my child.

Since I informed you that Hannah was no longer able to attend daycare due to my impending lay-off, I have sensed a great deal of animosity mounting toward me, and that fact was emphasized quite strongly after our conversation this afternoon. Due to the level of animosity, I feel it would be inappropriate for Hannah to continue under your care.

I am truly sorry that you are closing your business; however, I do not feel that I am responsible for this, and I have continued to get the inference from you that I am somehow putting you in this position. Furthermore, I feel that the number of “days I have had off” from work is completely and totally irrelevant to our discussion, and I am offended by having that brought into the discussion.

I understand that all people need time off and sometimes even emergently so. However, your inference that you have not taken any personal time to yourself is wholly false, and there have been two days in particular that I was asked to keep my child home, even though you cared for the rest of the children, ie: the day after New Years and several weeks ago when you were feeling ill. Additionally, I would assume that when requesting for time off, even emergently, one would have some hint of kindness behind their words and perhaps end the conversation with a heartfelt apology.

I truly do thank you for the care you have provided to Hannah and I am sorry that this has occurred, but I am certain you can see this from my point of view. I do honestly wish you the very best in the future, whatever path you take.



Then she told me "I hope you grow up someday". what?????
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tigresacanela24
replied on September 13th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
She's a *beep* and I damn straight wouldn't want her watching my child. If she's that petty and vindictive who knows what she'd do... Twisted Evil
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mc4ever02
replied on September 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Oh Hello no!!! I would have had such a headache by the time that was all over. How mature. No wonder she is closing her business. I think you handled it woderful, and much better than I would have. Phew. I'm getting upset just reading that!

Have you been able to find someone to watch her for the next 2 weeks?
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sillyakchick
replied on September 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
mc4ever02 wrote:
Oh Hello no!!! I would have had such a headache by the time that was all over. How mature. No wonder she is closing her business. I think you handled it woderful, and much better than I would have. Phew. I'm getting upset just reading that!

Have you been able to find someone to watch her for the next 2 weeks?


Yes, I had been nosing around for more affordable day care for a few weeks. I got in contact with oone of the ladies I had emailed previously, and I went over there yesterday afternoon. She has a reallly cute 10 month old baby and is looking for some income supplement. She was really nice and I was surprised at how easy going she was and accepted this child pretty much sight unseen. Her house is a small apartment, but it's clean and her child looks to be well cared for. That's what really matters to me.
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AyaMiyaki
replied on September 13th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
What kind of notice is 24 hours? Evil or Very Mad That's not even remotely professional! I could maybe understand if she had a death in the family or something, but otherwise... jeez.
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Backwerds_jibberslang
replied on September 13th, 2007
Experienced User
I would have wanted to slap a bi. . . .that would p|ss me off. It probably made her more mad that you took her out early. Too bad.
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sillyakchick
replied on September 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I think she is having some sort of psychological issue stress, idn't know. She was certainly a mess yesterday, and as such, I don't want her watching my child if she's that stressed out. She did say she was going to see a psychologist the next day. Again, i am really sensitive to that (especially with what I have been dealing with lately) but I didn't appreciate the guilt tripping. And there is a much more professional manner in which to get what you need. There have been amny issues over the past that I have been willing to over look:

Not wanting me to come breast feed my child
Not wanting me to visit my child during the day
Early pick up times (tuesdays it's at 4 pm!)
Inflexibility
Yelling obscenities at me becuase i was stuck in the snow at the end of her street during a blizzard when i went to get my kid
Making a huge deal out of the fact that i have Hannah ona Gluten Free diet (I brought ALL of her food)
Her cost - $180 per week!
Skull Fracture

I just wanted to get past the last two weeks, but I guess that wan't meant to be. I am just glad i got her out of there before anything else happened. I think she has been a good care provider, but there are just too many things to over look, and I think she has snapped. I don't even trust myself to be alone with my kids when i feel crazy like that!
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Keeba88
replied on September 13th, 2007
Experienced User
Yea i agree! You did what was right and prolly handled it better than i would of if that was my chils in her care. She does sound like she needs mental help and that she shouldn't be around any kids. I'm proud of you! I'm actually going to start working in a home daycare in a neighborhood not to far from mine....and i hope its not anything like you have explained. Cause you can all bet yout butts that i wont stay there if she is pulling that crap and acting like you provider did! I wouldn't want to be looked down on and jepordize my chances of getting another job in daycare if that was the case. Which i hope to god isn't.... But i hope the new place works out for you! Very Happy GOOD LUCK!
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yellow ribbon
replied on September 13th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
wait who had a skull fracture?! Thats so wild she acted like that, if it ere me shed b out cold on the ground Twisted Evil Im glad you mananged to find someone to watch her for the next two weeks. I hope that other lady never cares for kids again, she ssounds unstable!
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sillyakchick
replied on September 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
macysmama wrote:
wait who had a skull fracture?! Thats so wild she acted like that, if it ere me shed b out cold on the ground Twisted Evil Im glad you mananged to find someone to watch her for the next two weeks. I hope that other lady never cares for kids again, she ssounds unstable!


Hannah had a skull fracture a couple of months ago and it occurred at her house. It seemed to be purely by accident, though, so i did not proceed with the investigation offered by the pediatrician's office. There was another little girl who went there who fell and broke her arm before hannah started going to day care there. Question
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Keeba88
replied on September 13th, 2007
Experienced User
WOW you must of trusted her more than you should of. If that happned to my (unborn) child he/she would of been out of their so fast!
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sillyakchick
replied on September 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I am still pretty certain the fracture was purely accidental, or at the very worst, caused by a momentary lack of supervisioin. The thought of opening the investigation did cross my mind, but that seems like it would be like pouring salt in her wounds, and I don't want to be vindictive. Do you guys think there is anything worth looking into?
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Keeba88
replied on September 13th, 2007
Experienced User
I personally would of...but thats just me!
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Bridget
replied on September 13th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
sillyakchick wrote:
IDo you guys think there is anything worth looking into?


only because you said she didn't want you stopping by during the day. was there a reason? that just seems suspicious to me.
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sillyakchick
replied on September 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
BridgetHeartsFinn wrote:
sillyakchick wrote:
IDo you guys think there is anything worth looking into?


only because you said she didn't want you stopping by during the day. was there a reason? that just seems suspicious to me.


She said it "disrupts the routine" which is why she hated it when i went to breastfeed during my lunch and then eventually asked me to stop doing it...
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Keeba88
replied on September 13th, 2007
Experienced User
Thats no excuse! Thats a bunch of crap is what it is!
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sillyakchick
replied on September 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I had posted this about 2 months ago, let me see if I can still find the photo...
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sillyakchick
replied on September 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
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Keeba88
replied on September 13th, 2007
Experienced User
I asked my mom what she would of done if that was one of us kids when we were little in daycare and she said that the state should of looked into this either way. She said that if it was a licensed daycare she HAS TO file a report with the state and then they would of looked into it either way!
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Mabel
replied on September 13th, 2007
Moderator
sillyakchick wrote:


I'm really sorry that happened. How long was she in the hospital? Did she have a concussion also?

My son cracked his skull. It was a terrible time. We were in the hospital almost a whole week. He was vomitting and could hardly open his eyes.
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