I was recently told I was being let go from a job I loved. My results over the past year were stellar.
I feel ashamed and worthless. After doing some research and some thinking I came to the conclusion that I maybe suffering from depression. Not simply from the job loss, but as I think back I cant recall a time when I was actually happy.
On the outside I carry myself well, I have been successful and dont want people to know I feel worthless.
I have good friends from college, but I havent made a good friend since then. 20 years ago.
I have so many questions. Has anybody out there gone through this+
Oh yes. I lost my job, one I absolutely loved, it was my life, almost same time as you. I was devastated, felt worthless, felt like I'd fallen into a big black hole. The feeling of worthlessness is the hardest to overcome I think. I hve however done a lot since, got counselling and separated from my spouse, but I don't yet have a new job whic his very overwhelming sometimes.
I have also been extremely successful in what I did, part of the reason for losing my role was the bullying that I suffered. All told, a very bad year. How are you?
I teach and through no fault of my own I needed surgery, was treated for an illness I did not have which actually hurt me more, was given the wrong medicatin, gained 82 pounds, pulled out my back (the extra weight) and ended up being a Type 2 Diabetic. I was absent 81 times in one year. I had doctor's notes for each absence, did grades for my substitute while I was out and contacted her frequently. My district is COMPLETELY corrupt and are about to be taken over by the state. The head of HR was fired from his last 2 positions and now he's a "superstar" in my district. He NEVER replies to correspondance even to my union attorney. He fired me because (according to him although I have tenure AND proof of all the faxes sent and received reguarding my absences) I abandoned my job.
He set a hearing for a year later to prove my innocence however I'm not being paid and I have bills. I am being forced to settle like a no contest; which is to say I'm not disagreeing with the fact that I just quit going to work. This is so untrue. I can't look for another job until the case is settled and I get 25,000 to pay my debts.
Then there's the litle issue of the fact that this guy is notorious for changing personnel files and sending reports into the state that result in the employee having his credential yanked.
I have to deal with all of this plus try to find a job and make sure he doesn't malign me when called for a reference. If he does it's considered breech of contract and I can sue. HOWEVER- I AM SO DEPRESSED! I've been a teacher for 15 years with stellar reviews I've been in this district for 9 years and I feel like I've been kicked in the teeth. I cry all the time and don't leave the house a lot. Sometimes I'm too depressed to go to therapy. Has anyone had it this bad? I feel awful. I'm on meds but I just feel terrible. I hate to talk to my friends about this because I feel like such a bloody loser. If anyone has any advice please RSVP. I'm trying to exercise, control my diabetes, divert myself and do lots around and to the house. I do stuff with my dogs and it's fun to see them outside frisking and prancing with other dogs. I'm also looking into volonteering. But if you've gone through this how did you get through it? Can anyone help with suggestions? I feel so alone.
Therapy? Hmm...sounds good, EXCEPT usually with job loss comes loss of health benefits. If this person is in a situation like myself, it's day to day survival...and that does not include the ability to pay for COBRA insurance.
I just want to say I know how you feel,because I had a job I absolutely loved, but because the business(a shop)wasn't making enough money, the boss closed it down. I was so depressed I couldn't get out of bed most days. I finally got a casual job after about two years, but at the moment am only getting about one four hour shift a week.Anyway,I'm still on anti depressants,not sure if they help, but maybe that would help you?
It means that my flat is under threat unless i find work FAST. But so is everyone else so it's a little tricky.
Just a few months ago i also lost my baby.
So, not feeling that great.
However - did you know that the Chinese word for redundancy is, Opportunity.
Perhaps it's not what you want to hear right now.... but maybe there's something in that?
Love to see that you're getting out and about, playing sport and enjoying your dogs. Great stress relief.
You seem to love your job - and you must be good at it having held a post for so many years.
So - what about going private? Helping kids with stuff they need extra help with from your / their home? Become a homework helper.
OR become a champion of dying skills (my friend has a 9 year old who cannot read and write properly - simply because the she is not inspired).
Try not to feel ashamed or worthless. Sometimes, other people take advantage and don't care who they tread on in the workplace. Forget the HR person. They mean nothing to you. Concentrate on yourself and what you're going to do next rather than letting the past eat away at you. It's done.
Hey - i'll bet if you continue to be a pillar of society (if you help kids learn more or whatever you decide to do) you'll have some great testaments from their parents - great fodder to help your court case.
As of December 31 2008 , I lost my job of almost 9-Years . I thought at first okay one door closes another opens,just move on. Moving on isn't happening right now . I worked a job in the Kitchen & Bath Industry & the store branch I helped build was closed . I did everything to the letter as far as always giving more then what was expected , loyalty , dedication , knew every aspect of the buisness only now today it's gone along with the salary & feeling of being worth
something. Never in my life have I felt like someone who was worth nothing , I go thru the day to day motions with a fake smile to everyone that I'm okay , but inside just wanting to scream when asked are you okay !!
I have very good friends that are supportive , but they have jobs to go to everyday. The worst part of my job loss is that there are people who are working at the other store branch who have no knowledge of the buisness as I did , but they kept their jobs & now I'm having to start over ....
I was a receptionist at a newspaper for what would have been about 3 years this June. Everyone knows a receptionist has a LOT of idle time on their hands, normally - yet I was involved in so much more in the company. I did photography, graphic design, illustrations and had many stories published. Our old office felt like home, until corporate decided to move us into an office park on the other side of the county. The new office was sad, no character - I was not allowed to hang up art work or personalize my space very much, if not at all. My desk was completely isolated from the rest of the office and my ability to move around was completely taken away. At the old office I was able to forward the phones, take care of the kitchen, stock the breakroom and back room and pass out the newspapers each day.
All of this was gone at the new office. My commute went from 15 minutes (at the old office) to an hour (at the new office). The drive depressed me, my desk depressed me, I felt so trapped and like I had to "look busy" especially seeing many of my coworkers laid off, almost weekly it seemed.
Then my boss told me that she just wanted to have a chat with me to go over my new duties at the new office. I was excited at the thought of being given more work to do during those longest 8 hours of my entire life! On the day of our meeting she called me into her office with HER boss (who everyone agrees does NOT know how to communicate) and basically told me that I was doing a terrible job and brought up incidents from months ago and told me she was displeased. She ridiculed the way I dress, told me I need to take on more duties and basically said that "in this economy EVERYONE wants to keep their jobs" ---I was to feel guilty for being the receptionist and not doing all of their jobs as well. I felt I had been thrown under the bus and thanks to the new ALL glass windows of her office I felt sooo ashamed walked out of the office and made the long walk back to my desk.
From that day forward I felt like she was on my back, waiting for me to fail. I began to lose my morale and my health eventually began to suffer. One day the intense feelings of worthlessness built up so much I had a panick attack as a coworker was standing at my desk complaining about something that the I.T. department forgot or something. I frantically called my boss (the one who made me feel terrible) and told her I had to leave. She seemed pretty cold about it and said I could leave.
I cried all the way home, but the panic subsided, having been able to leave the office. I got home and cried on the floor in the fetal position. The next day I had the flu and my mentrual period started 2 days later. I was sick for 5 days and each day I was out, my boss made sure to hound me daily. When I asked for more work, none was given...I felt like they were pushing me out. I talked to an old coworker that was let go for "job performance" by my same boss. She said that they had offered her MY job instead of getting let go! I was soo upset after she told me! This happened about 7 months ago.
For the rest of the month I battled the days, staring at the clock - trying to keep my mind off of how much I was hating my job, my boss and seeing more coworkers laid off. In mid February I got into a car accident, a guy sailed into my lane, almost hitting me head on while talking on his cell phone. We both were ok. Of course this happened on my lunch break - I asked to go home. At the doctor's I started crying and tried to explain what was going on at work but they only quickly prescribed me anti depressents and a host of other medications. Feeling frustrated, that entire weekend I cried and had stomach pains - the very thought of going back to the office made me panic. I couldnt sleep at night and I'd wake up at random, my heart beating out of my chest and I'd start crying. On Sunday I abruptly quit - my body could not take it anymore.
I know I am feeling depressed but I feel so terrible that when I go to the store, I am gripped with fear. I feel trapped - like everyone knows how terrible I am. I don't want to see my friends (but I do) and I have no interest in activities that I normally found enjoyable. This goes completely against the type of creative and outgoing person I am. Has anyone ever felt this way?
This sounds eerily familiar. I've recently lost my job of over 5 years. The last 2 years were absolute hell. My marriage of 16 years crumbled - and I landed is a psychiatric unit for 3 months as I sank into a deep depression, I've been suffering from rheumatoid arthritis for over 10 years now (on chemo for it), my little sister died in her sleep(36 years old), I moved out and bought a house, my family all but abandoned me (as well as a few friends), my teenager had a hospitalization and then was in foster care for months, the bills are piling up. I've been in denial as far as the medical problems - it's the only thing that keeps me going. When I was let go, I decided to go back to college and refresh my skills as a medical secretary. The fear thing is HUGE! Take it one day at a time, and try to get counselling - it helps.
I wish we could have lunch and talk. I went thru the very same thing you have with a job I had for 22 years. I went on a medical leave for one year because of the people stress (not work stress just the people) and have been doing temp work ever since looking for a job. The temp jobs give you nothing to do so I understand you from that standpoint to where you sit and do nothing for 8 hours. Mentally it is crippling. My former boss was putting dead mice in my desk drawer and pushed me mentally to the point it affected my health. You call this office bulleying.
i lost my job this year after being there for over five years. i go around everyday trying to pretend like i'm happy but i'm not.i got a new job and i should be thank full but i'm only making half what i was making and because im in school i can only work part time.I don't even want to get out of the bed most days.I have not been happy in my life for a long time now and my job was the last bright spot i had i just want to sit in a corner and cry but i still have bills so i get up and put on my i'm ok face every day.
My husband lost he's job that he loved for 25 years of services the comp. close door at the end of 2007. know he has
no more job and no more income.I worked we have 2 teenager, but know he's freaking out know one call for interview and
he is telling me that he's fed up of me the kids, the dog, and the house, he doesn't do almost nothing at home and he hang
out with peaple that have no responsibility (no wife, no kids and no jobs) he said he need some time of from the family.
I bring home everything I can I do everithing the best but if he decide to go ahead and live for a week, I don't think I
can handle it, because the problem will come back and it's just not fear for me but I do still love him it's 20 years we
are together. My question is could he yell for HELP, or he just wan't to give up what he loves the most because he's depress?
I've had a tough few years. Since December 2005 I made large sacrifices of time and money to have my Canadian teaching credentials recognized in California. I went through hell getting a visa allowing me to work there. This was all for my boyfriend who is also Canadian, living in LA on a student visa hoping to break into the film industry.
After a tough year battling homesickness, a very heavy course load (15 semester units!) on top of full time teaching (which included long commutes and very challenging students who I always struggled to control) I have been laid off and will have to leave the country 30 days after my job ends and my visa expires. It feels all I have worked so hard for is crumbling... I hated my job but I loved being able to live with my boyfriend... and now I am going to have to go back home and resume being in a long distance relationship with him, seemingly indefinitely as he has no plans to return home to Canada unless he absolutely HAS to. He says all his opportunities are here in LA not in Canada.
I feel so beaten down and frustrated... I have four more weeks of work 'till I'm done...
I was laid off from my job a month ago. I loved my job and was very good at it. I had much interaction with the public, and since being home, I feel as if I am in solitary confinement. LIke you guys, I hate getting out of bed to face another day. I go to the computer, do a daily job search, nothing there, and face another day of aimlessness. I am 60 years old, not old enough for Medicare, competing with much younger people, and dont know what to do. They say one door closes, another opens, but at 60, the doors may have stopped opening.
I was forced out of my job by a tyrannical neurotic type supervisor who physically threatned me for years and nothing was done about it. I became disabled on the job, then permanently depressed due to incessant harrassment. In the middle of the worst depression since the great depression, mind you, with career tenure (i..e, little to no prospect for suitable re-employment). Only fast-food jobs available now. And people are surprised we're depressed? I can understand downsizing or loss of employment such as through business necessity; However, in my case, I had stable government employment for 13 years, and then, following an EEO complaint, my life was made a living hell at work.
Instead of society tolerating such activity by channeling us into pharmalogical strait-jackets whereby we are subjected to "toxic psychiatry" medicines (themselves causing permanent damage) because we are "inconvenient), it would benefit society much more by taking these organizational tyrants to task. If they are not dealt with, many more people could become permanently depressed and suffered permanent psychological problems affecting their ability to be re-employed.
The damage done is great. These tyrants should be executed.
I am dealing with a job loss right now too, this is my 3rd layoff in 6 yrs. ÃÂ I am at my wits end. ÃÂ I'm in classes for medical coding, but I'm driven to distraction with depression over everything that has gone on in the last 5 months. ÃÂ NOBODY is addressing this. ÃÂ There are almost 15 million people out of work right now. ÃÂ This is a HUGE issue. help!ÃÂ ÃÂ
I'm not the one who lost my job, but my fiance lost his job 4 months ago. This had been very tough on our relationship. I feel so bad for him because he got fired from his job after 3 weeks. He was trying so hard to do his best and work overtime to get into the swing of things, but because of poor management and being asked to pick up the slack for a bad company who was completely disorganized when moving into a new building, he was the one that got fired and not even given the standard 3 months to learn the job and prove that he can get into the swing of things. He worked his butt of to try to prove to them that he was worthy of this position. This is the thanks that he gets. Now because of this economy he is unable to find any sort of position, even entry level positions. I know that I make pretty decent money in my company, but it's really hard to be pretty much the sole provider for the household and it definately takes its toll on relationships. I just don't see anything being done about creating new jobs, the situation has not changed at all. I just wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. We both have been so depressed
My name is Natalie and I am a journalism student at the University of Southern Califonia in Los Angeles. I'm sorry to hear about your job losses. It's an unstable time and I'm very worried about my future when I graduate in less than a year.
I was hoping one, or more, of you might be able to help me out. I'm writing a story for a journalism class about the recession and how this is affecting people and their jobs. I would appreciate being able to speak with someone who has recently lost their job to get a first-hand account of what you're going through.
I was fired from my truck driving position 2 years ago.
Since then, I gained weight back that had been lost 2 years prior to that and have a general feeling of "no hope".
I'm working a little right now, but the same suggestions that have been repeated over seem to have no effect on me.
I've been told to go back to school and train for something else.
But, ironically, I never enjoyed college/school from the get-go and took on cross-country trucking to get away from that.
Now two years after sitting on it and being blackballed from any other driving companies, the fear of having to face college-life and deal with a typical, 9-5 job is really turning my stomach.
I have read a few post and really value all the people writing. I too have lost my job...or was "let go." I have always been independent and a what people in my family call a "go-getter." As of the last three months, I had to let go of my apartment, sell off all my furniture, move in with my grandparents, and now after a job that let me go for economic reasons, I am filing for unemployment.
I sit here now in a room that has an inflatable mattress and my computer which I use to apply endlessly to job postings out there. I have found little comfort in connecting with friends who are employed which depress me more when I see in their eyes they are avoiding the job topic. I guess it's not their fault.
I now struggle daily with waking up when the alarm goes off at 7am for me to start my day applying and trying to find contract work online for web design. Instead I have been waking up at 12noon or 2. I am totally depressed.
I did read some post on here and feel uplifted because other know this almost undescribale sense of despair. It is soothing to not feel alone in that sense. I am praying for us all.
Response to apathy for those who have suffered job loss
You obviously have health insurance that pays for mental health treatment. The community mental health services where I live are so over whelmed that it takes over a month to get an appointment, and that is just an assessment. Then you must be frered to a counselor whick takes another 4 to 8 weeks. If a person is fortuanate, they may be seen once a month. With that dymnmic in play, it is difficult to get off out collective asses and see a pyschologist.
I hope that one day you do not find yourself in a simular situation. Knowing that one is not alone and the feelings that are being experienced are normal reactions to difficult circumstances is extremely therapudic.
Remember the harsh words that you had shared for they will come back to you one day.