Thank u Voodoocita for your advice,
yes it is hard to find your own way in life and it needs time energy and istead we spend it on some food thinking: eat or not to eat.
this is a shame.
i am doing better now. I binge when i achieve my best weight, i say to myself: i am already hier why dont i let myself go today. the other reason is pms. alltogether is binging at least once a week. and the result a constant food watching. But this is better than bulimia i suffered from.
So i have more time to arrange my life, but the worst thing is that i have not much drive to do so. i am motivated but have a lack of discipline, i think i have spent too much energy on strugle with anorexia/bulimia and now have less energy to go for my dreams.
best