I'm a junior in college right now. I'm a public health major, but I don't know why I am.

I still have not come to some sort of certainty or confidence with my decision to switch to public health from chemistry. I know that a major doesn't necessarily determine the career, but music is such a long shot away from my previous majors, computer science and chemistry.

I tried going to the school counseling center, but that didn't really help. Maybe it's because I didn't go long enough to find the core of my problem. The first meeting, he'd ask, "What problems are you having?" I'd say, "Time management." Then he'd just give me tips on how to improve my time efficiency. The next meeting I'd tell him sometimes I'd lose my temper and kick holes in walls and scream in a fit of rage after taking a test. Then he'd ask me, "Do you think people are afraid of you?" I felt so offended that I didn't go after that meeting.

It's really hard for me to tell what's really going on. I find myself preoccupied with trying to figure out why I'm so apathetic toward the idea of schoolwork. Why can't I be like everyone else and just realize that I need a degree to survive on my own and go to class everyday? Some days the apathy bottles up until it becomes anger and I just slam the chair into the table, but nothing that would hurt myself or others.

I can't figure out if I lack motivation because of the classes I'm taking--which kind--or if it's the fact that I'm not taking a music class along with all this science--or if it's the fact that I'm not studying solely music, when I think my initial "dream" was to become a musician. Every day I feel doubt growing about my current path. What if my passion for music makes me suck at everything else?

For some reason, I think this all started summer of junior year, because that was the first time I felt that something wasn't quite right. I felt really isolated at that time. And while I'm not as isolated now, I feel that I'm the only one who cares about the fact that I feel like I have no choice but to plod on with a public health degree. I'm getting pressure from my parents to be practical and ignore music for the next two years, and it's going to probably drive me up the wall. I feel like I'm suppressing some part of myself. My parents have convinced me that my thinking is wrong, and that only fuels my desire to rebel against their wishes. They try to convince me that music will be a harder path than the one I'm taking now and that I'll hate it even more. It's only made me more conflicted and uncertain of myself.

I have no idea if my apathy is spawned by depression or uncertainty. I don't feel sad at all, but I don't feel happy. I just feel completely unsure of myself. I'd try to find some comfort in some music, playing guitar, or writing a song, but I left my guitar at home thinking it would distract from my "true" goals.

Anyways, I didn't know where else to post this. I don't know what else to blame my uncertainty on. I think what I need most is advice right now. Or at least someone who doesn't think I'm delusional in wanting to get out of my current situation halfway through college to pursue rock music. Most of my family thinks I won't be able to survive as a musician. I've been dwelling on this for four months now, and the longer it's been the more I become fixed on my self-doubt.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.