|What started me doing for him more was that I had surgery a few months back. So he would be sexually frustrated, I started doing whatever he wanted. Mainly using a vibrator. He you put it on the head & roll it around they can ejaculate like that. I did all 3 things(alternating nights) every night. For a whole month. Then it was every few nights. Now it is 2 times maybe 1 night a week.
When we got married he was the best I had ever been with. He could down for hours & actually knew what he was doing! Everything was great. & now nothing? In a way I just want to walk away.
|I do please myself in other ways. He also knew I was 20 years younger. We talked about then & he said there were things that he would do for me if the time came. The time is here & totally refuses to do anything? This not something that has happened overnight.|
Over sex? You want to walk away because of sex? Seems like the entire relationship needs some work if you are considering leaving because of sex. Stop doing for him and do for yourself if you want to feel pleased.
You knew this was an issue when you married a man 20 years older than you (how old is he?) and you were ok with that until you weren't ok with that anymore.
I'm not trying to be harsh, but you either accept it as being a part of your relationship (you've said you have talked to him about it a lot) or you don't.
Well...I'd have to say that when you are married, you are suddenly solely responsible for the other person's sexual gratification (other than masturbation, of course). That's part of the deal. And if he's not keeping up his part of the agreement, then you have to tell him "hey, pal, you either step it up or you let me step out every now and then".
I wouldn't play keep away to be manipulative.
Sex is a big deal. To look forward to a life of no sexual activity, well...I wouldn't begrudge the OP for leaving if it came to that.
|I am 33 & he is 53. Like I said earlier, I have talked, I have done all the "little things" to get him in the mood. Before we got married we talked & about if he ever lost his stamina & he promised that he would still take care of my needs in other ways. So for him to totally refuse this really hurts.
All the while he is checking the history on the computer, checking my phone, & I got accepted in the nursing program & he doesn't like that because I might leave him for a doctor? He is constantly questioning me because in his eyes I am acting susicious? When he is the one not wanting sex or anything to do with me. He started this 2 weeks after we got married of being jeaulous & insecure. I deal with it all.
I love him, but to deal with everything that is going on(which is too much to put on paper) & then be accused? I need to know what causes a man to go from wanting sex to nothing. He has pills but refuses to take them. It's not that he has a desire & can't perform - it's he just don't want to have sex unless it consists of me doing for him only.
I know he is 20 years older - I knew that when I married him, but he also knew I was 20 years younger & he made a promise too.
|Like last night, I am a night owl - always have been, probably always will be , I was sitting in here and writing in my journal on my yahoo account. I am recovering from strep throat and so I turned to get some water to take my medicine & what is he doing? Sitting up in the middle of the bed with his glasses on & looking at what I am writing. Saying I am acting suspicious. I have always gotten on the computer at night. The kids are in bed & it's peaceful & quiet. I do love him that is why I have stayed, but for him to question me when all I want to do is fix the problem. I tell him all the time I don't want anyone else but him. I think men live in their on little world most of the time.
I did tell him last night that we needed to talk to someone about all of this because I can not keep going this way.
I just thought I would post on here to see if maybe there was a medical reason for him not wanting sex. If he was THAT tired he would not even want me to do anything for him either i would think, but that is the reason he gives me.