Hi all, My real name is Ignacio, I am 17 (Male).

I am a normal kid, I have common sense, intelligent, know how to treat people and simple.

But I live in a society where looks is very important, and people are very materialist and arrogant.

I have two best friends, they are very awesome and understand me for the good or for the bad, we hang out a lot. We (The Entire Group) are exactly five in the group, and we go to party and stuff, although one of them is kinda shy with womans and stuff so he most of the time stays at home.

Regarding my friends its all good, but even they are a bit materialist, minimum though... I myself, been putting more thoughts on clothing and stuff, like them.

The main thing I'm depressed of is that.. since I was 15 (2005) something that ruined my life started to grow, the famous Acne.

When it started, luckily for me it was the worst days, I didn't cared, because.. I don't know, it wasn't to give a thought, so.. It was Ok for me, annoying but OK.

It all calmed down when I started using medications, but the freaking thing is... that my Acne is like a roller coaster, sometimes is good (I get very very happy when it gets good, obviously), most of the freaking time is hell.

Umm, so, yea, its pretty annoying when I see my friends complaining about one simple Zit, when im just right in front of them, with all this Acne, and yes, by the way im the only one of the group, and probably from school with Acne, seriously.

So, i get down, yea, and specially the last 3 month's, I tried suiciding twice, the first with Aspirines, took like 20, and the second with sleeping pills, took as well 20 and was drunk and took it with alcohol. I did both right before I went to sleep. And both morning i woke up, i got very disappointed...

I mean, its like i been abandoned.. I pray a lot, never get an answer.. I guess God wants me to accept myself for who I am not how I look foor, but what the heck, thats what ugly people says.. no mean to offend anyone (Im not cocky or something...)

So yea, is been hell for me, and more living here.. I know lots of people doesn't have food, are sick for life or is handicapped, but you know, its hard, two years without complying, having my self esteem from 100% to 10%, I am really good with girls, but I make them a favor and wait for them until this thing to goes away..

I meet this girl in one of the parties who really looked me and saw something on me, I really like her, and she likes me, I think im in love.. I can talk things with her that I dont talk with anybody, i tell her I am sad and stuff (but not the suicidal thoughts, I've never told this to anybody in RL).

She got mad at me because I didn't wanted to date her because my acne, I dont feel good in open spaces, with people looking at me, but she keeps talking to me, I don't know, shes into me for some reason.. shes damn cute, damn, honestly shes hoy, and I would marry her. but i don't know if i get to make it, i just want to have a normal life...

So thats all about me and my depression, and my freaking extra heads on my face, ill probably try suiciding again, and i hope i dont fail next time, concerning about my family, it would be bad for them at first, but they wouldn't have to pay more money for my outgoings, stupid expensive medicine, food, etc...

so, I say goodbye to y'all... And if you have Acne like I do, or probably better, i really hope it gets better for you, i really do, because, its not easy.. God Bless you.. (I know im going to hell if i kill myself ... but i cant handle it sometimes)