Trying AA - non Spiritual Person! Sober for 48 hours

There is a book that might be able to help you out also.

It is by a man named Allen Carr. It is called " The Easy Way to Control Alcohol."

Don' let the name fool you. It isn't a gimmick book about tips on cutting down and "controling" your alcohol. It is a book about the brainwashing of society and alcohol. The illusions of pleasure that alcohol gives and ultimately helps the reader remove their desire to drink.

Allen Carr is more known for his book, "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking." It is by far the most popular book mentioned in quit smoking forums. It is an excellent book, that I have personally seen help a lot of people. Allen Carr used to smoke up to 100 cigarettes a day.

What's less known about Allen Carr is thta he was also a heavy drinker. He then quit drinking too and wrote that book.

You might be skeptical of a book being able to help you, but just about every smoker trying to quit smoking that I have reccomended to read the Easy Way To Quit Smoking has thanked me and said what a great book it was and how it really helped them changed how they saw cigarettes. Which made quitting smoking so much easier to do.

If you decide to read that book, hopefully it can help you.


Eric

PghMom, way to go!

Just take this thing one day at a time. Don’t try to swallow the whole thing in one gulp. Just start showing up, and listen. Other women, much like you, have much to offer.

I showed up in my first meeting a confirmed agnostic. After eight years, I am still a confirmed agnostic. I don’t have a clue what the meaning of life is, probably never will, but my kids aren’t scared and confused by living with a fall down drunk. And I am so grateful for that gift.

Let me assure you right now that you are free to believe or not believe anything you see fit. That isn’t what is important to get started. Rigorous honesty, willingness and an open mind, those is at the heart and soul of the program.

When I started this post, I told myself I wasn’t going to use the “G” word. But when I first showed up, I was told I that I could use that “G” word to stand for “Group Of Drunks”. After all, they have that needed power to stay sober for just today. I could use the group as my needed power.

Again congratulations on your getting into action, keep us posted on what you discover.

Richard

So thank you. I'm on day 4 and I'm feeling emotionally and physically so much better. My husband and I have alot of work to do, but tonight we will go to AA together. I was/am nervous and scared, but I am going to look at it as one of my graduate classes. This is a case for me to go in and listen and learn. While I am still ashamed of myself, I know that I am learning through this whole experience and will take a deep breath and walk through those doors ready to learn how to get my life back. Thanks for your support and suggestions. I am also currently reading 7 tools to staying sober and it's interesting and I'm learning from that as well. I will post again to describe what happens tonight.
PghMom

Yea, what Dale said, how are you?

Richard

Well I'm doing really well. Thanks for asking. I went to the AA meeting with my husband in tow and it was nerve racking at first but everyone was so nice and understanding. The key was that first impressions on appearances of people had to be thrown out the window. The place was intimidating because it was dirty, smoky run down and not in the best part of this area, but for some reason I was really comfortable there. I didn't think I would actually even SPEAK at the meeting, but I introduced myself and stated my sobriety. I'm still working on admitting I'm an alcoholic to the whole room. But give me a break it was my first meeting. I know they all say it and I know I am, but I'm not ready to cross that line. The one lady gave me literature and a bunch of other women's numbers. However, that said, I don't believe my husband would be comfortable with me going alone there and we may find an alternate place. The reasons being, that while some people may be sober for a year it doesn't make them sane...But what happens in the meeting, names and stories should stay there. I have to get ready for work, but if anyone is interested I can post more on the meeting. I guess it's good because we will be going back tonight and I almost look forward to it. Thanks for all your help. I think I can do this...IT FEELS GREAT TO BE SOBER, even on my worst work day.....

Hi PghMom,

Have you considered reading the book I reccomended to you? It can really help change how you see alcohol.

When you change how you see the drug that you're addicted to. It really makes it a lot easier to quit using that drug, because you realize that you're not depriving yourself of it, but freeing yourself from it.


Eric

PghMom…

What a great post! You have done the thing that so many other people in the same boat that you, I and countless others are in refuse to do. You took positive action! You did something different and in turn you got something different in return.

One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. We all have done it, I am glad you are out of that rut.

You are right, just because someone is sitting in an AA meeting doesn’t mean he has been returned to sanity. Mostly the men in a meeting are regular guys, but remember, we all came in with our lives completely out of control.

This world is peppered with people who don’t have our best interests at heart, not just in AA, but just about everywhere. That is why using those numbers all those women gave you is so useful.

They can help you if you if you do cross paths with some bad actor. Women in the program look out for each other. Mom, take the time to call every woman on that list, just to say thanks for giving me your number. That phone call will do then as much good as it will do you.

And I think it is a good idea to try as many different meetings as you and your husband can, Each one is a little different. I tell the guys I work with, that AA is a little like a new pair of shoes. Try on as many as you like, and when you find the pair that fit well, then you start walking!

Congratulations again on your first meeting.

Richard

Yes, I have considered the book you recommended, but right now I am swamped with my graduate work and don't have many more hours in a day to sit down, read, and apply it to my life. Which I would feel is necessary for me to do right now. I don't intend to ignore it,However, I have to make my graduate work #2 priority only after the not taking another drink. I feel that having the bond and support of other's like me is where my strength will come from for now. And as I am able to complete projects, I will have more time to devote to the examining and rebuilding of "me".
I attended another AA meeting and while there was a poor topic choice, my husband and I still walked away with a positive feeling. We will be going back sometime next week, even though I'd like to go tonight. And I'm not really going because I feel like I need to go or I'll drink, I like listening to the stories and seeing the emotions and KNOWING, I'm not alone in this. It's a room full of faces that respond with a nod or smile...No one told me to look at it that way before and it eases the pressure knowing I don't have to be religious to be a part of it.

PghMom…

How are you doing? Well I hope. How many days is it now?

Richard

I actually posted a reply accidentally under a new topic "great". But things are going well. today is day 12..and I 'm moving right along with my life, changing things here and there, and being more aware of myself and my feelings towards things. I was one of those moms who just does everything for everyone else, except myself, that's where drinking came in. I'm finding myself to be more assertive, yet sometimes overly aggressive, so I have to find a balance...To sum it up, I'm all about finding my balance AND staying sober...Thanks for asking...
PghMom

IMPROVE OUR CONSCIOUS CONTACT
WRITINGS AND DISCUSSIONS ABOUT STEP ELEVEN FROM VARIED RELIGIOUS VIEWS
SEPTEMBER QUESTION ~ STOP IN THROUGHOUT THE MONTH TO SEE WHAT THESE WRITERS HAVE TO SAY.
"Step Eleven states that we are trying to improve our conscious contact; does this imply we already have a conscious contact? Or must we develop it?”

7.26.2007
My Prayer Progress by Dick B.
"When did you first start praying and how has your prayer life evolved since then?"

At the editor's request, here are a few words about the duration, progress, and effectiveness of my prayer life: First, my mother was reading the Bible to me at the earliest receptive point in my life. She did the praying and I did the believing. Like so many who go to institutions of higher learning, I probably left prayer behind during my University of California and Stanford Law School years. On graduation from Law School, I thought I was marrying a Christian women who would respect my beliefs and I hers. Instead, she immediately had a nervous breakdown with bipolar consequences that lasted from 1951 to about 1968. Even then, it was my mother that did the praying, and I the reliance on doctors and pills and hopefully TLC. During that period, my wife became a church and minister shopper at Protestant Churches that were not to my taste. I went to no church. I read no Bible. And I left the prayers to my mother. My wife and I never prayed together, never read the Bible together, and never asked God's help for her problems or our difficult marriage. The two sons were sent to Sunday School, after the great Protestant dumping tradition. But I did not participate. Her church asked me to teach Sunday School and handed me a book that was titled something like "Why prayers don't get answered." I declined to teach on such a subject because I believed that prayers do get answered and that healing is possible through prayer and reliance on God. But, in the meantime, my alcoholism flourished and replaced my wife's schizo-affective disorder. I joined her church. I became President of the church. I became a seeker of power and profit rather than a seeker of God and His righteouness. And I saw no evidence that the people in the church gave much credence to the power of prayer. And then things changed. My older son had joined a Bible research, teaching, and fellowship ministry; his mother opposed it; her mother opposed it; and I probably made fun of it. But then he invited me to the Holy Land on a fellowship trip. It was there that I saw some solid Christian believers daily praying, daily reading the Bible, and counting themselves as believers who had gotten born again and gotten "into the Word." I was very enthused, but treated the next few years badly. I took all the Bible classes. I attended all the Bible fellowships and conferences and teachings. I became born again. I spoke in tongues. And I drank. The problem was not God's. It was Dick's. And then the storms came. Typical storms involving alcoholism--resentment against my wife, denying my drinking problem, regularly abusing alcohol and sleeping pills, raising heck with church people, adversaries, and anyone who stood in my way. Not a single prayer for recovery. On April 21, 1986, I had had it. That date was preceded by nine months of drinking and unbearable depression; by unpardonable ethical conduct; by a host of emerging legal problems; and then a week's blackout. Still, however, no resort to prayer. As happens in these cases, the legal problems, the withdrawal problems, the marriage problems, the criminal problems, the confusion and memory and thinking problems, to mention a few, all converged to make my early sober months unbearable. I had been in A.A. since April 23rd. I had and have not had a single drink nor a single sleeping pill. I loved A.A. and thought very little about prayer--being told that I should not read the Bible, only A.A. books; that people who read the Bible got drunk; and that any interest I had in my Bible fellowship was premature and distracting. In despair, I checked into the Veterans Administration Psychiatric Ward in San Francisco. There I languished for five weeks, finally deciding I ought to consider suicide. My older son and his wife thrust Bible study and prayer upon me; and an older gentleman in our Bible fellowship called me long distance every day and listened to my whining. He said, Dick, why don't you stop trying to program your life and ask God what to do and for help. He asked me to check the story of "Peter walking on the water." I told him (erroneously) that only Jesus had been the water walker. But he persisted. I found from the Bible itself that verily when Jesus beckoned to Peter to walk and said, "come;" Peter believed, obeyed, and walked. Then Peter looked at the waves, heard the winds, became afraid and sank--only to be rescued by Jesus. I got the point. I dived into the Bible. I read Christian literature. I dragged psychos to A.A. meetings all over San Francisco. I listened to Christian tapes. But from the first moment of Bible study in the psych ward, I believed. What's more, I immediately got over the immense anxiety and fear and was ready for discharge. From that moment to this very day, I have worked with newcomers in A.A. incessantly. I have taught them the Big Book and the Twelve Steps. And I have led them to Christ and brought them into my son's Bible fellowship. Prayer to God for forgiveness, for thankfulness, for guidance, for praise, for healing, for my needs to be met has been daily fare. I've never had or wanted a drink or sleeping pill. I've had no fear or anxiety. I knew and believed that the accomplishments of Jesus Christ had released me from shame, guilt, fear, condemnation, obsessions, physical infirmities, and resentments. And that has been the case. Since then, I have prayed for and received deliverance during eye implant surgery and extremely difficult open heart surgery. In the last few years, I degenerated into a couch potato, only to have my doctor tell me I had to get moving. More prayer. But More arthritis. More breathing difficulty. More danger of a heart attack. No significant moving or cessation in eating too much. Prayer continued. I was joined on Maui by a young Christian recovered AA who was and is on fire for Jesus Christ. He is also a fitness expert. He volunteered to help me with my research into the Christian roots and Biblical stress in early A.A. He came here around the first of May, providentially as Dr. Bob would say, but in answer to prayers I would say. It's now late July. My arthritis is hardly even a problem. My breathing is no longer labored. I'm back swimming, losing weight, dieting, and praising and thanking our Heavenly Father in the name of His precious son Jesus Christ. I'm raring to tell others by every means possible what my Heavenly Father has done for me in answer to prayer and believing and standing on the truth of His Word.

PghMom…
I couldn’t be happier for Dick. I am glad he found something that works in his life. Don’t we all need something? But let me reiterate, any conception of a power greater than ourselves is sufficient. In face in most meetings we refrain from naming a specific deity. That seems to breed more dissention than harmony.

That said, welcome Dick, like I said, it’s good that we find what we need when we first start to seek it. Keep coming back.

Richard