Hard to Talk / Socialize With Girls + I Have No Friends Posted: 09-09-07 16:02pm
Hi, I don't really know what I should do
anymore. My names aaron and im 17 and a
highschool dropout. I dont have a
girlfriend, and have never had a serious
relationship. I dont have any friends left
anymore, in the town ive lived all my
life. I wake up everyday feeling completly
alone. I used to be different before i was
a teenager. Now its like everyones staring
at me all the time, because im ugly. Or
because im just stupid. I go to work, I
come home, I do nothing. I know im way
below average looking, and girls dont like
me. I have people tell me about their same
problems, and I can give them solutions
and mindsets. But I cant use them, they
dont work for me. I cant talk/ socialize
with girls. I get extreme anxiety and dont
know what to say. When im around people I
shake nervously. I knew/loved one girl and
she was married. I often have thoughts of
suicide but im too much of a vagina to do
it. I can socialize with guys just fine,
and because of this I sometimes think I
must be gay. I dont have any other gay
tendencies but I dont know what else to
think. Noone knows I feel this way,
because I try not to show it. I see other
kids my age hanging out with friends, and
I almost cry because I have noone. I'm
crying as im writing this, I try to lie to
myself and tell me im fine but i'm not and
i cant do this anymore. Nothing makes me
want to wake up in the morning. People
stare at me all the time and I ask them
why and they dont answer. I probably cant
do anything thats given as advice here but
theres noone to talk to. I often apologize
for wasting peoples time because i feel
thats all that i am.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 09-09-07 16:07pm
hi aaron! im suzy and im 16 yrs old and
also a HS dropout
im currently pregnant as well
when i read your post i felt really bad
because i know what you mean about not
haveing anyone to talk to
lol thats the one thing i miss about
school was my friends
however im on this forum all of the time
and im here to talk if you ever need it
life is short...you only get to do this
once. your only seventeen ONCE
live it up man
have fun and make the best of it
|
AaronS
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 15 Location: ,
Posted: 09-09-07 16:17pm
Thanks, but I cant have fun while im
alone. And ill always be alone while
feeling this way/being this person.
congratulations on the baby, lemme know if
you need anything
EDIT : I MADE A NEW ACCOUNT BECAUSE OF THE
AGE LIMIT, I dont want my parents to know
about me.
|
marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1099 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 50
Thanked:8
Posted: 09-09-07 21:53pm
Hi, Aaron.
I probably can't relate exactly to what
you're saying. However, I have felt
intense isolation and feelings of
insignificance much like you. I grew up in
a small, conservative town and went to a
small, conservative Catholic Highschool. I
was also gay (though I didn't admit it
back then). I didn't have anyone to talk
to because all the resources available to
me were linked to my school. (Catholic and
Gay don't really mix sometimes).
My saving grace (and I'm serious) was
going to see my family doctor. It is very
satisfying to just let everything out to
someone who can guide you in an
appropriate direction to help you along.
It also helped me to find people (online,
in person, a hotlined geared towards
helping people who feel like you do) who
felt like I did. I didn't feel so
isolated... or like such a waste of time.
Best
-Z
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Re: I Dont Know What to Do Anymore. Posted: 09-09-07 22:04pm
AaronsHere
wrote:
I used to be different
before i was a teenager. Now its like
everyones staring at me all the time,
because im ugly.
.
thats is NOT true at all
you are NOT ugly
no no nope your not
|
Enlightened Uselessness
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 86 Location: ,
Posted: 09-09-07 22:07pm
Well, if you're nervous when talking to
girls and fine conversing with guys that
means you're not gay.
Well, you say you're ugly. Usually, you
can increase your appearance dramatically
with a few tricks. What exactly do you
think is wrong with you?
Second, just see a therapist or a
psychologist to increase your social
skills.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 09-09-07 22:15pm
Enlightened Uselessness
wrote:
Well, if you're nervous when
talking to girls and fine conversing with
guys that means you're not gay.
Well, you say you're ugly. Usually, you
can increase your appearance dramatically
with a few tricks. What exactly do you
think is wrong with you?
Second, just see a therapist or a
psychologist to increase your social
skills.
he is NOT ugly
look at his photo!
|
Oicangi
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 18 Location: Private
Posted: 09-09-07 22:27pm
Dude what the heck, your not ugly at
all... Why are you even complaining??
I connected with you when I read your
post. By the way, being not able to talk
with chicks nicely doesn't means you are
Gay, for real... You just need to practice
and loose the fear, im not a expert or
something but that is my honest advice, so
get up on your foot, enjoy your freaking
good look, and for all the people that
looks at you, its because you aare hotter
than them, and give them a big F.
Dude, you can easily get a GF, just, hang
out and stuff and its freaking at your
disposal.. Btw, you dropped school because
of financial problems or somthing?
|
Enlightened Uselessness
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 86 Location: ,
Posted: 09-09-07 23:49pm
the_girlfreind
wrote:
Enlightened Uselessness
wrote:
Well, if you're nervous when
talking to girls and fine conversing with
guys that means you're not gay.
Well, you say you're ugly. Usually, you
can increase your appearance dramatically
with a few tricks. What exactly do you
think is wrong with you?
Second, just see a therapist or a
psychologist to increase your social
skills.
he is NOT ugly
look at his photo!
Maybe it's just a good photo lol.
|
Keeba88
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007 Posts: 223 Location: ,
Posted: 09-10-07 18:40pm
just a good photo? lol if your ugly your
ugly...theirs no such thing as just a good
photo...so in your case that means your
not ugly! I hope we
have all helped you out on here. And i
also don't think just because your
comfortable talking with guys doesn't mean
that your gay. IT MEANS YOUR A NORMAL GUY!
Us girls can sometimes be intimidating, i
know! But we really aren't that mean So just take a
step up to one and talk about something
your comfortable talking about. Or just
the normal "hey...how are you? whats up?"
that kinda stuff...get a conversation
going. I'm sure you can do it. After
meeting a few good girls im sure the
anxiety will go way down. But from a girls
point of few....i get nervous talking to
guys and am comfortable around girl lol
....but im not a lesbian! HOPE I COULD
HELP YOU HUN! good luck
|
Enlightened Uselessness
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 86 Location: ,
Posted: 09-10-07 20:40pm
Keeba88
wrote:
just a good photo? lol if
your ugly your ugly...theirs no such thing
as just a good photo...so in your case
that means your not ugly! I hope we
have all helped you out on here. And i
also don't think just because your
comfortable talking with guys doesn't mean
that your gay. IT MEANS YOUR A NORMAL GUY!
Us girls can sometimes be intimidating, i
know! But we really aren't that mean So just take a
step up to one and talk about something
your comfortable talking about. Or just
the normal "hey...how are you? whats up?"
that kinda stuff...get a conversation
going. I'm sure you can do it. After
meeting a few good girls im sure the
anxiety will go way down. But from a girls
point of few....i get nervous talking to
guys and am comfortable around girl lol
....but im not a lesbian! HOPE I COULD
HELP YOU HUN! good
luck
Well he's obviously self conscience about
something with him. Instead of just saying
he's handsome, ask what he thinks is wrong
and help him fix it.
|
Oicangi
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 18 Location: Private
Posted: 09-10-07 20:53pm
Hey Aron what do you think is wrong with
you?
(I took the move first xD) Hahaha
No but seriously..
|
AaronS
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 15 Location: ,
Posted: 09-11-07 00:36am
I dont know. I'm just constantly depressed
and I constantly feel judged, for no
reason. I feel amazing about twice every
month; I wake up smiling, I can talk to
anyone, my mind is free and I feel equal
to everyone I see. I feel motivated to do
the best I can do. But most of the time
its not like that..
Its not really what I think of myself, but
more of what I think other people think of
me. I think i have serious mental
problems...
I want to go to a psychologist but I dont
want my mom to know. and I cant afford
it..
And I dropped out because im stupid, worst
mistake ive ever made.
thanks for reading everyone...
|
marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1099 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 50
Thanked:8
Posted: 09-11-07 00:51am
mistake
mis-take
re-take.
Mistakes are there just so you can re-do
it again and know what the heck you're
doing. I love mistakes. I love feeling
like I can do it again... better, more
successfully and with less problems.
There are also many resources that schools
have which could help you immensely. Peer
help groups, guidance counsellors (or
regular counsellors depending on the
school). It's never too late to go back,
you know! =)
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Oicangi
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 18 Location: Private
Posted: 09-11-07 12:25pm
I support what marvel says about
mistakes.
And, if you are going to keep focusing in
what people thinks of you, you are going
to fail bad dude, this is old, but its
true:
You need to focus on what you think of
you, that way you can build some esteem
and confidence, and accept yourself,
people likes you when you are cool with
yourself.
In my Straight Opinion, you are not
unattractive, unless you live in a
Hollywood movie with Brad Pitt, Tom
Cruise, the guy from the notebook, Keanu
Reeves etcetera, so dude, go on and build
some self esteem and show to the people
that you rock.
|
lonestarguy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 592 Location: , Hoosierland, USA
Thanks: 10
Thanked:1
Posted: 09-11-07 12:52pm
Keeba88
wrote:
just a good photo? lol if
your ugly your ugly...theirs no such thing
as just a good photo...so in your case
that means your not ugly! I hope we
have all helped you out on here. And i
also don't think just because your
comfortable talking with guys doesn't mean
that your gay. IT MEANS YOUR A NORMAL GUY!
Us girls can sometimes be intimidating, i
know! But we really aren't that mean So just take a
step up to one and talk about something
your comfortable talking about. Or just
the normal "hey...how are you? whats up?"
that kinda stuff...get a conversation
going. I'm sure you can do it. After
meeting a few good girls im sure the
anxiety will go way down. But from a girls
point of few....i get nervous talking to
guys and am comfortable around girl lol
....but im not a lesbian! HOPE I COULD
HELP YOU HUN! good
luck
Aaron....I would listen to the lady above.
She has pretty much nailed it. You are
being too self-critical and that leads to
doubt and lower self esteem. Oicangi and
marvel also offered some things you can
try to get your social life going.
Most of us are shy at first when trying to
connect with girls, but it only takes one
to make a friend. Once you make that first
girl friend, it gets easier and easier.
Just make some conversation at first, take
some pressure off yourself by not asking
anyone out initially, but open a door so
you can go back and you won't be a
stranger.
As far as quitting school, it's not
necessarily the end of the world. The
other posters are right, you can still
check at school because most have special
programs to bring you up-to-date on what
you've missed or even allow you to satisfy
the requirements to graduate.
I'm not an expert on male looks, but your
picture doesn't look like an ugly guy. So,
I guess you can believe the majority here
that there's wrong with your looks.
Good luck to you.
|
Enlightened Uselessness
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 86 Location: ,
Posted: 09-11-07 23:19pm
AaronS
wrote:
I dont know. I'm just
constantly depressed and I constantly feel
judged, for no reason. I feel amazing
about twice every month; I wake up
smiling, I can talk to anyone, my mind is
free and I feel equal to everyone I see. I
feel motivated to do the best I can do.
But most of the time its not like that..
Its not really what I think of myself, but
more of what I think other people think of
me. I think i have serious mental
problems...
I want to go to a psychologist but I dont
want my mom to know. and I cant afford
it..
And I dropped out because im stupid, worst
mistake ive ever made.
thanks for reading
everyone...
Yo, you NEED your GED. And then college
wouldn't help either.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 09-12-07 13:36pm
Enlightened Uselessness
wrote:
AaronS
wrote:
I dont know. I'm just
constantly depressed and I constantly feel
judged, for no reason. I feel amazing
about twice every month; I wake up
smiling, I can talk to anyone, my mind is
free and I feel equal to everyone I see. I
feel motivated to do the best I can do.
But most of the time its not like that..
Its not really what I think of myself, but
more of what I think other people think of
me. I think i have serious mental
problems...
I want to go to a psychologist but I dont
want my mom to know. and I cant afford
it..
And I dropped out because im stupid, worst
mistake ive ever made.
thanks for reading
everyone...
Yo, you NEED your GED. And then college
wouldn't help
either.
just a thought
im 16 yrs old and i make ore a week then
most ADULTS do at their jobs
and i work from home
when i want
and i dont go to school i dropped
out in january
|
Enlightened Uselessness
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 86 Location: ,
Posted: 09-12-07 19:57pm
the_girlfreind
wrote:
Enlightened Uselessness
wrote:
AaronS
wrote:
I dont know. I'm just
constantly depressed and I constantly feel
judged, for no reason. I feel amazing
about twice every month; I wake up
smiling, I can talk to anyone, my mind is
free and I feel equal to everyone I see. I
feel motivated to do the best I can do.
But most of the time its not like that..
Its not really what I think of myself, but
more of what I think other people think of
me. I think i have serious mental
problems...
I want to go to a psychologist but I dont
want my mom to know. and I cant afford
it..
And I dropped out because im stupid, worst
mistake ive ever made.
thanks for reading
everyone...
Some people get lucky; you're one of them.
But statistics show that those who do get
their GEDs make $250,000 more in their
life. I wouldn't recommend him not to do
it.
Yo, you NEED your GED. And then college
wouldn't help
either.
just a thought
im 16 yrs old and i make ore a week then
most ADULTS do at their jobs
and i work from home
when i want
and i dont go to school i dropped
out in
january
|
Keeba88
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007 Posts: 223 Location: ,
Posted: 09-12-07 20:02pm
why thank you lonestarguy! See i
really do know what i'm talking about.
Just put yourself out there and get to
know a few of the good girl out in the
world...you'll get use to us and know that
all of us aren't mean health forum! And if
we all were i don't think we would be
trying to help you out on here! YOU GOT
THIS!
