Hi, I don't really know what I should do anymore. My names aaron and im 17 and a highschool dropout. I dont have a girlfriend, and have never had a serious relationship. I dont have any friends left anymore, in the town ive lived all my life. I wake up everyday feeling completly alone. I used to be different before i was a teenager. Now its like everyones staring at me all the time, because im ugly. Or because im just stupid. I go to work, I come home, I do nothing. I know im way below average looking, and girls dont like me. I have people tell me about their same problems, and I can give them solutions and mindsets. But I cant use them, they dont work for me. I cant talk/ socialize with girls. I get extreme anxiety and dont know what to say. When im around people I shake nervously. I knew/loved one girl and she was married. I often have thoughts of suicide but im too much of a vagina to do it. I can socialize with guys just fine, and because of this I sometimes think I must be gay. I dont have any other gay tendencies but I dont know what else to think. Noone knows I feel this way, because I try not to show it. I see other kids my age hanging out with friends, and I almost cry because I have noone. I'm crying as im writing this, I try to lie to myself and tell me im fine but i'm not and i cant do this anymore. Nothing makes me want to wake up in the morning. People stare at me all the time and I ask them why and they dont answer. I probably cant do anything thats given as advice here but theres noone to talk to. I often apologize for wasting peoples time because i feel thats all that i am.