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Relationships > Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum > Wife's Mother In a Abusive Relationship. What Should I Do?
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Q: Wife's Mother In a Abusive Relationship. What Should I Do?
asked by: ron1212 on September 8th, 2007
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My wife's mother is in an abusive relationship. She is in ALOT of debt and he doesn't work. He keeps telling her he is going to get disability and they can pay off her debts? We want to help her, but we don't know what to do. She "says she wants to divorce him but can't afford it." I just want my wife to be happy and her mother is making her miserable. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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ServiceU
replied on May 14th, 2009
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my mom was married to my dad for 20 years. in that time he broke both her arms, and fractured bones. she left with him, and said she will never get with a guy like that again.
i bought a duplex, my dream was to get a tenant to pay the mortgage so i could live rent free. i get a call from my mom telling me she wants to leave her second husband b/c he is mentally abusive. she wants to live with me, and she didnt have a lot of money to pay me rent. so she stayed with me for 2 1/2 years. left my duplex to go back with husband #2. she then left him and moved to arkansas. i sold my duplex and sent her money to buy furniture. she's in the process of moving so she put that furniture in storage.
now she calls me and tell me she wants to live in florida with me and my son. so i was making phone calls for apartments she can aford. she has changed her mind about living here atlease 8 times, causing me lots of stress.
she is now going to live in philly with my little sister's house.
daughters always want to help their mothers when theyre hurt. but i wouldnt let my mom do that to me again. i told her i m through with her and her indicisiviness.
if i was living with a guy he would be really upset with me b/c i went above and beyond.
be supportive to your wife feelings, but there has to be boundaries. i dont want to be mean, but she put herself in that situation. it's good to have support, but someone people can put so much weight on your shoulders. if the mother-in-law plans to stay in that situation, then nothing will change, and she will always be stressed out. i never had a divorce but i wouldnt care how much it cost. cant she separate from him?
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