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Q: Cannot Comfort Me
asked by: zoidberg on September 8th, 2007
Experienced User
i have a problem with my boyfriend...hes a very sweet guy and i love him very much. Hes not agressive or anything. the problem is that he doesn't know how to comfort me....its hard to explain. Whenever i feel so depressed or down or he would make me angry, he wouldn't know how to comfort me which makes things even worse! i've been with him for 1 yr now and it kills me that he still havn't learned how to comfort his own girlfriend. I've talked to him about this and the first time it happened, he said he was sorry and that he doesn't know how to approach people when it comes to comforting them. I let it go that time because he was being honest. I thought he would learn from that. He got me angry the second time and said he was sorry again and made it clear that it was very hard for him to comfort me...he said he didn't kow how to. I gave him some pointers like to hug me and tell me everything will be alright or kisses and such and he would actually try harder next time. He got me very angy a couple months afterwards that i almost broke up with him. It would have been nice if he was able to comfort me to not make things worse. he never did. I wish he would communicate with me and be very affectionate when this happens. i've told him everything that i can't be with him if hes always doing this. Not being able to comfort me. As his 1 yr girlfriend, he should know how to comfort me. He said that i meant the world to him but he still doesn't know how to comfort me. It really bothers me. I do love him but everytime he does this, i feel so heartbroken and so alone. I don't know what to do. other than the comfort problem, hes a great guy. But i need to be comforted by my own boyfriend, not by my friends all the time. What should i do? please and thank you!
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Georgia59
replied on September 10th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
The only thing I can suggest is talk to him and give him very specific things that he can do to help you.

Some guys just really don't know how to deal with emotional issues like that. I mean, not just guys, some people in general. But if you help him out a little, and remember that he does love you, he just doesn't know what to do, maybe it will help?
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Chezzy
replied on September 10th, 2007
Experienced User
Agree with georgia here, talk with him again share what you would like to receive from him as far as comforting, there is a lot of people out there that find it hard to comfort or give affection, even love properly even though they try, he does love you by the sounds of it..Have another heart to heart with him. Smile
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zoidberg
replied on September 13th, 2007
Experienced User
thanks:) i have noticed that soemtimes when i tell him to do things for me like when i'm cold, hold me (because he's never done it to me before until i asked him to) he remembered and kept me warm by holding me. anyhow thanks again:)
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