Joined: 09 Jun 2007 Posts: 49 Location: Paris, France
Cannot Comfort Me Posted: 09-08-07 21:33pm
i have a problem with my boyfriend...hes a
very sweet guy and i love him very much.
Hes not agressive or anything. the problem
is that he doesn't know how to comfort
me....its hard to explain. Whenever i feel
so depressed or down or he would make me
angry, he wouldn't know how to comfort me
which makes things even worse! i've been
with him for 1 yr now and it kills me that
he still havn't learned how to comfort his
own girlfriend. I've talked to him about
this and the first time it happened, he
said he was sorry and that he doesn't know
how to approach people when it comes to
comforting them. I let it go that time
because he was being honest. I thought he
would learn from that. He got me angry the
second time and said he was sorry again
and made it clear that it was very hard
for him to comfort me...he said he didn't
kow how to. I gave him some pointers like
to hug me and tell me everything will be
alright or kisses and such and he would
actually try harder next time. He got me
very angy a couple months afterwards that
i almost broke up with him. It would have
been nice if he was able to comfort me to
not make things worse. he never did. I
wish he would communicate with me and be
very affectionate when this happens. i've
told him everything that i can't be with
him if hes always doing this. Not being
able to comfort me. As his 1 yr
girlfriend, he should know how to comfort
me. He said that i meant the world to him
but he still doesn't know how to comfort
me. It really bothers me. I do love him
but everytime he does this, i feel so
heartbroken and so alone. I don't know
what to do. other than the comfort
problem, hes a great guy. But i need to be
comforted by my own boyfriend, not by my
friends all the time. What should i do?
please and thank you!
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 09-10-07 13:03pm
The only thing I can suggest is talk to
him and give him very specific things that
he can do to help you.
Some guys just really don't know how to
deal with emotional issues like that. I
mean, not just guys, some people in
general. But if you help him out a little,
and remember that he does love you, he
just doesn't know what to do, maybe it
will help?
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Chezzy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2007 Posts: 152
Posted: 09-10-07 18:20pm
Agree with georgia here, talk with him
again share what you would like to receive
from him as far as comforting, there is a
lot of people out there that find it hard
to comfort or give affection, even love
properly even though they try, he does
love you by the sounds of it..Have another
heart to heart with him.
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zoidberg
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jun 2007 Posts: 49 Location: Paris, France
Posted: 09-13-07 21:13pm
thanks:) i have noticed that soemtimes
when i tell him to do things for me like
when i'm cold, hold me (because he's never
done it to me before until i asked him to)
he remembered and kept me warm by holding
me. anyhow thanks again:)
