Self Injury Forum - I Have An Injury Question

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Q: I Have An Injury Question

asked by: kicker on September 6th, 2007

New User

This is a hard thing to put to words. I used to be a cutter, but have moved on to less obvious ways of,,,,,well hurting myself. I know the reasons, but I don't know why. Ok, that won't make sense to most people. Anyway, I don't really want to discuss the whys and the hows in this post.

Without getting into real specific detail, I hurt my foot. Mostly the top and inside edge. It's all blunt force damage. Most of this has been done over the last several months, with several days and even week or more of healing. Before I would start doing it again.
I think I may have really done some damage this time.
I don't think it's broken, because I walk with no limp, and walking does not actually hurt. But in has started to just be painful without me causing it.
I'm sorry if I sound rude, but I know the first post I am going to see, will say to go to a doctor. But that is mostly impossible.
I have no health insurance, plus I already owe 1600.00 in medical bills, and there is no way to explain this without being truthful. And there is no way to explain multiple injures to one place.
("Gee I don't know Doc, I must have dropped a bowing ball on my foot a couple of hundred times.") Besides, he would probably make me take a few days off of work, or definitely put me on light duty. I'm on my feet all day, that is a job killer there. I can't risk that.

I am mostly worried about infection, now that I know you can get infections without breaking the skin. Rolling Eyes

It is visibly swollen, but not real bad, I can still put shoes on and what not.
I guess my question is how to know if it's infected?? Are there any over the counter ways of maybe, fighting, or helping to guard against infection?? Remember this is an internal injury, so all the ointment in the world won't help me. I am going to make a real effort at letting it heal and not doing this anymore.
If anything, can someone point me to a website where I can find out this information??
I can describe with more detail if it would help, just don't want to waste anyones time if this is the wrong place to discuss this.

Thanks for any help.

Replies(7)

rosejackson

replied on September 6th, 2007

Supporter

ok first of all, is there any pharmacy's over there than a pharmacist can have a look at it for free? i know they're not doctors but iwll know some knowledge and they can recommend on what to do.
secondly, i really think that it would be helpful if you speak to someone about the self harming. although it is not an obvious way of self harming, it stil is. talking always helps half the problem. remember a problem shared is always a problem halfed. even if you cant talk to a councellor because of the health insurance, talk to someone close to you about your problems, or get health insurance if possible ?
i hope this helps, please pm me if you have any questions about Selfy injury x

kicker

replied on September 6th, 2007

New User

Thanks for the advise, I will look into that. It is much better today. I have been doing things like this for years. I have learned that if I talk about it to a trusted friend, they will slowly start not being trusted. I have lost many a friends after attempting to discuss this. Most people tell me they must not have been true friends, I figure they realized I was crazy and don't want that in their lives. LOL!! I can understand that.

Thanks again for the input.

rosejackson

replied on September 7th, 2007

Supporter

they probably dont want to hear the information themselves and is probably too much for them to handle. when i cut i couldnt tell anyone but a friend who also cut.

kicker

replied on September 13th, 2007

New User

I've done it again!! what is wrong with me???? Are emotions this hard to control for everyone?? It seems I have to hit it harder and harder to get whatever the hell effect I need. I think I did break it this time. Or at least fractured it. I am so f-ing stupid!!! Crying or Very sad

kyreles

replied on September 14th, 2007

New User

Don't be so hard on yourself. Emotions can get the best of you sometimes, it happens to all of us. To control them you should try different things. Take deep breaths, if you want to expell energy, do some exercise (jumping jacks or pushups, whatever). Hell just punch the air or a pillow. But most of all try to take care of your body. I hope this doesn't sound hypocritical, but if you're seriously injuring your body then you need to find another way to vent your feelings. I personally think the best thing you can do is find someone to talk to about it. And take care of the foot.

rnmed

replied on September 17th, 2007

New User

Self-injury may be an indicator of depression and/or other psychological problems. Therapy and skills training can be very useful for those who self-injure. The therapy module used will vary depending on the person's diagnosis and their individual needs.

DBT, or Dialectical behavioral therapy can be very successful for those with a personality disorder, and could potentially be used for those with other mental illnesses who exhibit self-injurious behavior. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is generally used to assist those with axis 1 diagnoses, such as depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder. Diagnosis and treatment of the causes is thought by many to be the best approach to self-injury; but in some cases, particularly in clients with a personality disorder, this is not very effective, which is why more clinicians are starting to take a DBT approach in order to reduce the behavior itself. A person who is injuring themselves may be advised to use coping skills, such as journaling or taking a walk, when they have the urge to harm themselves. They may also be told to avoid having the objects they use to harm themselves within easy reach. People who rely on habitual self-injury are sometimes psychiatrically hospitalised, based on their stability, and their ability and especially their willingness to get help.[35]

In individuals with developmental disabilities, occurrence of self-injury is often demonstrated to be related to its effects on the environment, such as obtaining attention or desired materials or escaping demands. As developementally disabled individuals often have communication or social deficits, self-injury may be their way of obtaining these things which they are otherwise unable to obtain in a socially appropriate way (such as by asking). One approach for treating self-injury thus is to teach an alternative, appropriate response which obtains the same result as the self-injury.

keys101

replied on September 22nd, 2007

Experienced User

"what is wrong with me?" kicker, there's nothing wrong with you sweetheart. emotions are tricky little no namers, and some people like you and me need a physical outlet that is blatant and uncomplicated to release all that emotional mumbo jumbo that we can't make sense of in our heads. it gives us a feeling of control, like no matter how effed up something is we can always release that emotional pain in the same way. trouble is, not only does that cause physical problems but it creates more of those pesky emotions: now you have to throw self doubt, confusion and guilt into the mix- and that's just for starters. I was a cutter from age 12. I am now 17 and haven't done it for 2 years. lemme tell you, that feeling of relief in knowing that i overcame that is far more amazing than any gash or bash ever was.
remember this- you are a beautiful human being. your life is precious and so is your body. there are other ways to feel better, trust me. i won't tell you what to do because everyone's different, but I will tell you that what worked for me was the realization that i deserve better than that, damn it! if somebody else was hurting you like that they could be hauled off to jail. you don't deserve that treatment from an outside source and so clearly you don't deserve it from yourself. just remember that you deserve much, much much better than you're giving yourself.
and hey, everyone slips up here and there. just keep moving forward. you can slow down, but never stop. Smile

let me know if i can help you with ANYTHING at all, hey?
later.

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