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Q: Baby Daddy Wants the Baby,you Dont Think He Will Stay

asked by: angie03red on September 3rd, 2007

New User

i am 21 birthday in november. this is my last semester in college. i am 11 weeks and 4 days pregnant. My baby daddy already has 8 kids from ages 13 to 2. Anyway every since we found out i am pregnant he has been there. he say he planned this baby. we found out when i was 5 weeks and 4 days. he ahs been to all my doctor visits with me. i have told him how i feel that i dont want this child. and he says he wont help me pay to kill his seed. he is really excited and his family but i dont think he will be around for the whole pregnancy if i decide to keep the baby. Hes a great father to his other kids. but he was not with any of there mothers when the baby was born. he told me he went to only 1 or 2 doctor visits and that was it until after the baby came. i am afraid to be alone while pregnant again or after i have the baby. i dont fully trust him and he knows. we have started to argue all the time, which i know is not heathly. I keep telling myself thta it would be better for me if he leaves now then keep holding on and waitng. if anyone has any commemts or feedback please write them Question

Question

Question

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Replies(9)

ciaralynn7

replied on September 12th, 2007

New User

My babies daddy was happy about me being pregnant also, and he was there for me for the first 5 months and then he left. But I am soooo happy i kept her and i cant wait to be a mom. I'm 37 weeks along and I'm glad he's gone. It all depends on your situation, But in mine i was glad i kept her and honestly glad he left.

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angie03red

replied on September 12th, 2007

New User

Happy Today

we'll yesterday evening my baby daddy called. i havent heard from him since last wednesday. he asked the usual questions. then he called back last night wanting to talk, normally i would ask him why he havent called start yelling and all that but i have gotten to the point were im like whatever. so had had a normal conversation which shocked him he started explaining i told him he couls save the excuses. we'll its as if he comes and goes when he want to .i thougth i would be happy to hear his voice but i wasnt. i was trying to hurry up and answer his questions so i could get off the phone. i hate that we have this type of relationship but maybe its for the best. i also thought like all his other baby mommas dont have a relationship with him they dont even speak so maybe he doesnt know how to have relationship,but i did tell him that iwant my child to know his father no matter what we have going or not going.he is surpose to be coming down here this friday im not to happy about that but he wants to come cook for me rub my feet come on.

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ciaralynn7

replied on September 12th, 2007

New User

Yeah well i see my Babies daddy everyday. We live in a pretty small town, and have ALL the same friends, and his new girlfriend and i just so happen to be really close...But he just chooses not to talk to me. He'll send me emails telling me he wants to be involved with the baby and that we need to talk, but then when he sees me in town he doesnt say a word to me. I mean its easier for me not to talk to him, cause its obviously hard for me to see him after all the lies and caca he put me through, but i really want him to be a good dad.

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everyday_struggle

replied on September 12th, 2007

Experienced User

Re: Happy Today

angie03red wrote:

we'll yesterday evening my baby daddy called. i havent heard from him since last wednesday. he asked the usual questions. then he called back last night wanting to talk, normally i would ask him why he havent called start yelling and all that but i have gotten to the point were im like whatever. so had had a normal conversation which shocked him he started explaining i told him he couls save the excuses. we'll its as if he comes and goes when he want to .i thougth i would be happy to hear his voice but i wasnt. i was trying to hurry up and answer his questions so i could get off the phone. i hate that we have this type of relationship but maybe its for the best. i also thought like all his other baby mommas dont have a relationship with him they dont even speak so maybe he doesnt know how to have relationship,but i did tell him that iwant my child to know his father no matter what we have going or not going.he is surpose to be coming down here this friday im not to happy about that but he wants to come cook for me rub my feet come on.

if hes trying to be nice, why do you still push him? atleast hes making an effort to talk to you. Guys who didnt care, wouldnt bother with that. He is putting up with you, remember that. Unlike you, he can leave whenever he wants, but he still calls. Give him some credit and stop trying to pick fights on what he should or shouldnt do. Im not saying hes in the right, but im also saying your not in the right either. Live day to day and stop worrying about "what he should do" thats his problem. Your problem is what your going to do with the baby.

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angie03red

replied on September 12th, 2007

New User

what im saying is he has slacked off since we first found out. its not okay that he calls whenever he wants ,just once a week. i give credit for being there but i shouldnt be in this myself and thats how i feel. so you saying hust let him do whatever and whenever even if its not much and be very thankful the little hes doing? when i know he can do more. im pushing him because he planned this baby he wants this baby. i told him him when we first hooked back in january i dont want a child from him. he has the time and the means to do more so why shouldnt he.

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everyday_struggle

replied on September 13th, 2007

Experienced User

angie03red wrote:

what im saying is he has slacked off since we first found out. its not okay that he calls whenever he wants ,just once a week. i give credit for being there but i shouldnt be in this myself and thats how i feel. so you saying hust let him do whatever and whenever even if its not much and be very thankful the little hes doing? when i know he can do more. im pushing him because he planned this baby he wants this baby. i told him him when we first hooked back in january i dont want a child from him. he has the time and the means to do more so why shouldnt he.

He should do more, but who are you to push him to do the right thing? You pushing him and telling him what he needs to do will only alienate him. Its not up to you to decide what level of involvement he has, that is his decision. He is his own man and doesnt need you to tell him what he needs to. sure, you both made the baby, but hes not carrying it, you are. your stress level and anger affects the baby, dont let him do more harm to the baby if you can prevent it. Now, by all means dont kiss his butt and thank him because he calls, forget that. Just do what you need to do, The moment you realize you will have to go through this alone (which you should have known 8 kids?!?!? come on) the better you will be off. Because now you dont have anybody to depend on but yourself. I know it sucks having to go through this alone, but you got lots of support from the females here, it may not be personable but alteast its something.

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Mabel

replied on September 13th, 2007

Moderator

angie03red wrote:

im pushing him because he planned this baby he wants this baby. i told him him when we first hooked back in january i dont want a child from him. he has the time and the means to do more so why shouldnt he.

I know this is way after the fact, but how could he 'trick' you into having a baby without you knowing you could get pregnant?

Aside from that, this man has 8 kids! What are you doing with a man with 8 kids? What kind of child support does he pay? He can't have much time OR money on his hands with 8 kids. And, if he has either, that means he is not taking care of these other kids. Which is all likelihood means he will not be taking care of you or this baby.

Sure, he wants the baby. He wants it when he wants it and doesn't want it the rest of the time.

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angie03red

replied on September 13th, 2007

New User

Reply

he has 8 kids. From what i seen all his kids are taking care of. He do for all his kids he not on child support. he have alot of time and spends money on me, his kids are older the youngest two are 2 and 3 they with him all the time. thats not the point all im saying i want him closer to me while im pregnant i am not wondering will he provide for the baby cause i know he will i want him with me thats the problem.

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Mabel

replied on September 13th, 2007

Moderator

Re: Reply

angie03red wrote:

he has 8 kids. From what i seen all his kids are taking care of. He do for all his kids he not on child support. he have alot of time and spends money on me, his kids are older the youngest two are 2 and 3 they with him all the time. thats not the point all im saying i want him closer to me while im pregnant i am not wondering will he provide for the baby cause i know he will i want him with me thats the problem.

How many mothers are there for these 8 kids? I think that will be where your answer is at.

He might not be 'on' child support. But he better be paying child support for those kids. Just like he better be paying child support for your baby when it gets here!

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